DH called me a vile, nasty piece of work

By the time you’ve got a teenager, you have to take a step back on the insisting. Pick your battles. You do have to get them outside but you need to pick, and when your son has an injury and can’t even enjoy it… that’s the wrong time to be insisting.

Do you talk over people?

In the car I said DS was just parroting what DH says that’s it’s my way again and that I’m pushing my agenda, it’s not really a normal thing for a kid to say? It’s him parroting an adult.
DH got very angry, said I was a nasty piece of work, vile, a horrible woman and that I’m determined to ruin the day.

Why are you fighting with your DH in front of your DS?! Parents don't do that. Well. Good parents don't do that. No child, no matter their age, should witness their parents arguing or slagging each other off. You and your DH were both 100% wrong in that.

You shouldn't have forced your injured DS to go out when he didn't want to. You shouldn't have spoken over him. You shouldn't have slagged off your DH in front of your DC. Your DH shouldn't have called a 'vile, horrible, woman.'

Quite frankly, all of you sound shocking. I just feel sorry for the other kid.

Suggest or insist?

Your husband isn’t a teenager, and should probably get on with working that out.

My exDH used to do things like that.. that’s why he’s ex. Sometimes I worry that adult DS talks to me the same way

@StripeyBalloon I haven’t voted either way because from what you’ve written neither you or your husband have behaved in the best way.

• Him name calling is disgusting and cannot be excused.
• You started an argument in front of the children in the car, not the time or place to be doing that.
• Forcing an injured teenager out of the house to do something they wouldn’t want to do even if they weren’t injured seems unnecessary, perhaps you could’ve asked for their input on where to go, it’s good to get them out the house but perhaps more thought on an activity/location that would’ve been more appealing would’ve helped
• Teenager repeating dad’s words is not great but they must recognise the behaviour enough in you to be able to repeat it - do you talk over people? Are you always getting your own way? Are you spoiling for an argument? From the example you’ve given it sounds like the answer might be yes
• Husbands social media consumption is concerning and is no way funny, he should be setting a positive example to your children not demeaning their mother and making sexist comments

Ultimately your husband needs to acknowledge what he said was unacceptable and sincerely apologise. I would be deeply hurt and upset if my husband said something like that to me, whatever the circumstances. He generally needs to be more mindful about what he says around the kids but this type of name calling especially is unacceptable. You might need to consider your own behaviour, it’s impact and how that is perceived by others.

obviously just going off what you’ve said so far and maybe there’s more that would change my view but it does sound like you need a bit of introspection (still doesn’t excuse husbands behaviour and definitely concern about his internet use)

Exactly. Increased blood flow and also it’s better for your mental health.

To be honest, by the sounds of the guy I wouldn’t talk to him, nevermind over him.

My eight year old has an absolute “thing” about people talking over her and she will quite regularly say to me or her dad “stop talking over me!!” She doesn’t pick it up from anyone. She just hates it (so I’m a lot more mindful of it now).

There's no way my DH would talk that to me and we'd still be married.

Your teen however, he should be allowed to chill at home if he wants to.

He 'tried to make you laugh' by saying he spends his time watching lots of videos portraying women ruining family days out?!
This seems utterly bizarre for him to do this? Does content like that even exist? Yes, I'm being naive

And he's clearly influencing your child to talk to you like something on the bottom of their shoe.

Why don't you just respond with 'well, I've been reading lots of books, online content, medical journals and testimonies about lazy, misogynistic piece of shit men ruining women's lives.'
When his face drops 'Lol, don't be so serious!?'

I see OP hasn’t addressed talking over her DH….

They aren't very respectful of you. This is likely to lead to how they view women/girls and how they treat them in daily life. I'd be fuming. I'm.the only female in our household and there is no way I'd put up with being spoken to like that.

And I don't see an issue with getting your son out for fresh air, a change if scene and some mobility to help prevent muscle wastage (less physio needed later).

Why did the whole family have to go?

Why not just go somewhere with the teen?

Your husband sounds like he hates you, btw.

It sounds like you are determined that your family need to go out and do things. Be honest is there any truth in what your husband says? He shouldnt speak to you like that but do you have a track record for insisting everyone does what you think is good for them?

Triggering? How is this triggering?

I would absolutely get my injured child out the house if it was practical.

It's not good for your mental health to sit on the sofa for days on end. It definitely doesn't make the OP an awful, nasty piece of work. The DH is doing a good job of convincing her children that she is though.

lots of good reasons. If you have a hip replacement they want you standing up later that day. The same if you have a baby. In general, moving speeds recovery, and stops everything else atrophying. One of my dcs friends fractured a bone a week ago. They are still training in various sports per doctors orders, just can’t play competitive games.

Try it yourself to get an answer. If you have a local park you could sit there and be in a natural environment. If you are in an urban environment without a park in easy distance see if there are benches where you could take a break.

What is the difference between being outside at your own house, and, outside at the park ? Why is it “important” to be somewhere different?

(also, the air coming through your window is the same as the air outside)