I'm 40 and my Mum just told me to brushy hair!

If you're 40 and your mum was born in the 50s then odds are she probably had a perm at some point, because a Stevie Nicks-esque mullet or early Julia Roberts brushed-out look was the epitome of style. My mum is still obsessed with volume at the roots.

I'm the same. My mother would insist on me having my curly hair cut short which (plus being bigger than everyone else) made me routinely mistaken for a boy.

I've now had long curly hair for 40 years. I almost never brush it or only do it wet when full of conditioner and using a detangling brush.

I'm on the Aussie Moist shampoo, conditioner and curl cream combo. Lots of scrunching and plopping. It works.

I'm seriously greying now ... Do I leave it r to silver gracefully, or use temporary colour ?

Seems like this is a common experience for curly girls in their early 40s! Throwing my name into the hat too. My mum just didn't get it but then tbf my long-time hairdresser doesn't get it either, when she's combing out the knots before cutting it.

If the zombie apocalypse comes during the moment where I've just brushed my hair before getting in the shower to wash it, I'll be furious, as I'll be stuck that way!! It's a very private moment that few in the world will ever see!

I'll let OP confirm, but my guess is that OPs hair was brushed into a Hermione fog her entire childhood and her mum never once considered it might be secretly curly.

Lots of hair types go smoother after brushing, so i can see why she'd be surprised!
Mine does the same. Its impressive how big it goes as its not even tight curls! It's like each strand is slightly magnetic and they all repel from eachother when brushed 😂

But her own mother?!?
The OP has had this type of hair since she was young

You would not believe how many people don't know this. They are legion.

surely she knew this would happen to your hair if you brushed it

Nah I thought it was light hearted! We all do daft things, our mums included.

Primarily that but just felt that I needed to point out that it was an unnecessary correction anyway. Sorry for derailing a lighthearted thread

I used to colour my hair in random exotic colours. My mother would sigh and say 'why do you want to do that?'

I frequently had to restrain myself from slamming doors and shouting 'you can't tell me what to do!!!' I was in my forties.

I also thought that the point you were probably making is that it's pretty much not done for an adult to correct another adult anyway.

I was having a lighthearted dig on the basis that it sounded as though you didn't say thank you as a rule. Clearly not the case.

Personally, I say "thank you" as the item leaves the giver's hand and is in the receiver's. My gripe is my mother's assumption that I'm not going to say it - unsurprisingly with her training, saying thank you is utterly engrained in me. Maybe you didn't mean to sound like you were having an (unfounded) dig at me and I've misunderstood?

My DM attempted to make me go and brush my (curly and drying naturally after a shower) whilst I was in the middle of cooking Christmas dinner!

I had it all planned, shower, hair drying whilst I cooked and nip up to change just before the meal. But no, she wanted a photo in front of the tree right at that moment. I think I was 29 at the time...

I don't have to do that to my adult children although very occasionally they have to be reminded of the magic word. Somewhere I must have gone wrong. The thank you should be automatic at 27 and 30. DD's 29 year old bf manages it every time.

Not quite hair brushing story - but went to visit (a regular visit albeit not too often as it is abroad) my mum and after all the hugs and “how glad to see you” she looked at me and said “you’ve got wrinkles on your forehead”.
(lovely to see you too, Mother!)
It’s to be expected since I’m pushing 50!!
And the visit before she told me to book a hairdresser and have a cut and colour 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️
mothers, eh?

Not hair-related, but if my mum hands me something she holds on and won't let go until I've said "thank you". Annoying as a child, infuriating as a teenager but as an adult with adult children it finally makes me laugh 😂

I’m 58, I’ve just said on another thread that I’m going to hide my motorbike accident from my parents when I see them later, lol. They’ll lecture me and I just can’t take it.

The amount of times I say “I’m 58” because they talk to me as if I’m 12, is unreal. They just say “then act like it”. Mostly in fun I might add, I adore them really.

I feel you, I still have trauma from my parents constantly telling me to brush my hair when I was a child, not realising my hair was curly. I remember my mum saying I always looked unkempt.
I’ve since grown to love my curly hair. Looking after my own child’s hair, I can’t understand how my parents tortured me with dry brushing! We water spray or detangling spray and comb my little one’s hair. And my mum always says how lovely it looks.

That's mums for you 😁

"like a fucking dandelion" 😂

Ha ha; totally have done this..I absolutely LOVE brushing out my curls to get a reaction!

If you actually do need to untangle dry hair, use satin gloves to "brush" your hair. They're also pretty great for scrunching and applying products with. Fingers cause frizz just as much as brushes I'm my case.

I feel you, OP. Not naturally a curly girl myself, but I’m of an era where we all had perms in our teens, and on the night of my prom, I had done my hair in lovely little shiny (crunchy) ringlets.

My mother clearly felt this looked unkempt and reflected badly on her. She kept asking me if I was going to brush it. I explained that this was the look I was going for - and she seemed to accept this, albeit reluctantly.

My date arrived to collect me, and as we were about to pose for a photo, my mother suddenly couldn’t control herself anymore and whisked a hairbrush out of her handbag, grabbed me by the head and brushed my hair out all frizzy and puffy and mad.

I looked like a fucking dandelion.

I still feel pissed off about this, 35 years on.