Male staff member in store

It's not rude not to interact. I get people coming through my till who don't speak during the entire encounter. The next person up will often say 'well, he/she was rude' if the person leaves without uttering a word. I will usually reply with 'perhaps they just don't feel like talking'. I have an ASD DD who dreads having to interact with shop staff, so I really don't mind if my customers don't want to speak and I don't regard it as rude any more than I would be feel it rude to not acknowledge anyone shouting 'Oy!' at me in the street.

We who work in shops really really don't care. We want you to shop. You don't have to entertain us while you're there.

Not only is this a non-issue on almost every level, it's such an insult to feminism to try, as the OP is not-so-subtly doing, to make this triviality into a feminist issue.

A shop greeter of either sex is at worst a minor annoyance, if you're in a bad mood already, but quite easily ignored. What they are emphatically not is an example of male harassment. This nonsense doesn't help anyone who's actually serious about tackling real feminist problems.

Greeters can be annoying but all you have to do is smile to acknowledge them as you walk in.

I think it's odd that you are hung up on him being an 'unknown man'. Men are allowed to exist in customer facing roles 🤷‍♀️

@Pbjsand and yes he definitely isn't "checking you out".
He will also be saying hello/goodbye to the ugly, smelly, rude and obnoxious folks too.
Because. It's. His. Job.

If someone is struggling to the point that they can't speak to a male staff member in a shop, they need to go and get some help.

Also London is not a place just a lot of local areas adjacent to each other. My local bit is really quite friendly!

This wouldn't bother me but I noticed the other day in a large branch of Marks I hadn't been in before there was a lady greeter and goodbyer at the entrance. I thought this was a bit OTT but I presume now this was so she could warn security if anyone looked like presenting an issue.

I have noticed quite a few shops have someone in the door now. I think it’s to discourage shop lifting as it’s a huge problem at the moment?

Im not a very sociable person so I do find it a bit annoying, though it’s not as bad as going to Lush and someone pouncing on you trying to sell you products.

just smile and say ‘good morning/afternoon’ and move on.

Well I hope they get some help. In the meantime, the rest of society will continue to talk to each other on occaision.

Are you my sister who thinks everyone fancies her? 😂

TBH your life must be very stress-free and have not real worries if this is on your mind so much that you take to the internet over it.

@Pbjsand you do realise you don't HAVE to communicate with him.
As someone who used to work retail (in the days before self service tills) I was completely blanked by 100s of customers as a scanned and bagged their goods and took their payment, gave the recipient etc.
I could have been an actual robot and many many customers wouldn't have noticed.

As someone who lived in London for many years. No eye contact or speaking on the Tube, when I came north of the Border there was a huge change.
I used to catch the train from London up to Glasgow and as the train got to around Preston I always thought there was a change.

Catching the little train from Glasgow to Ayrshire I always called the 'party train'.
Many times people checked with me if they were on the correct train and on hearing my accent started a conversation about where I was going, and when I told them, if I knew such and such a person.

It was strange to begin with but now I find it normal.
When I am in the front garden people stop for a chat.

This reminds me of the thread started by the poster distraught at her new neighbours having the temerity to use their garden at the same time she wants to be in it.

I suppose, to some extent you can't always help your feelings around certain things (although you can always work on them). But surely to God you KNOW yourself you're being unreasonable in taking exception to a member of staff on the door saying an inoffensive 'hello and 'goodbye' to you as you enter/exit the store?

He's not "checking you out". He's doing his job, which is to interact with people going in and out of the store as a deterrence.

Sorry but your are being very unreasonable.
This man is 'plain clothes' security.

He's not 'eyeing you up'. You appear to think he has the hots for you.
Leave your vanity and fantasies at the door and give the guy a cheery 'hello' and stop agonising over all of this.

This. He is just doing his job.

he is "checking you out" to make sure you're not drunk, a druggie, a known shoplifter, carrying a weapon etc etc etc. He is not interested in you sexually, out of the 1000 other women who walk past him on a shift.

And you don't HAVE to speak to him, you can walk straight past, or nod, or smile.

It is not a north/south divide and not everyone says hello to everyone in the north ime.

Oh dear. Sorry to say but I can't help thinking this is in London. You know, the place where you will be ostracised and others will be shocked, shocked I tell you if you dare open your mouth or make eye contact on the Tube, bus, or passing people in the street etc. It's kind of sad these insular lives.

Obviously I'm not in London, so when I was in Aldi the other day getting some big bags of peat moss, the guy on the cash desk got his co worker to help me put them in the trolley, they were outside the door. Big smiles all round and a bit of banter about the weather. I came out of that shop feeling great, there is humanity and good humour out there!

Eh up chuck! 😃

I just feel sorry for anyone doing what must be such a boring job. But yes, probably there to make shoplifters think twice.

I doubt he works 7 days a week so many next time you could actually speak and say "could you tell me your days off" and then only ever shop on those days 🙄
Although it might be another male working on those days - shock horror!
My local Poundland has just closed down and I will miss the daily act of saying "hello" as I enter and "thank you" as I leave to the security guy that stood at the door.
I assume he's unemployed now.

Well, perhaps if more posters stopped being so judgemental of those not exactly like them I'd not have to address the issue.

Yes this - the guy has the unfortunate job of being informal security on minimum wage. Happened at the shop next to the one I worked in (big chain homewares, out of town retail park). Just give a quick nod across at him, you’re the least of his worries. But I would give feedback to the store about how this makes you feel (the idea not the individual) and hopefully they’ll rethink how they’re handling security.