Male staff member in store

Have we read the same OP? He thinks she’s interested? What are you even talking about?

Oh here we go with the mental health card. I’m a neurodiverse person with a history of BPD and suicidal depression. Even I can say hello to a greeter in a shop. Even if I couldn’t, I wouldn’t expect the rest of the world to fawn over me for it because mental health issues often do cause irrational thinking and reactions. I can see this even more clearly now I’m recovered and it’s not the rest of the world’s problem, it’s mine. I’m aware I’m going on a rant here but I’m really fed up of being expected to wallow in victimhood by some people in the online mental health community just because I happen to share diagnoses with them.

Stores are struggling with more people ordering online.
They are trying whatever they can to encourage customers, hence the rise in allowing dogs in shops, cafes, etc.
I would imagine it could be mentally exhausting for him having to constantly interact against a sea of cold hard faces.

How dare a man politely greet you as part of his job! Put yourself in his shoes. He's spending his day repeatedly having to cheerfully greet customers with the same phrases over and over, it does get wearing. I was going to suggest that if you can't even summon the politeness to spend 5 seconds acknowledging his existence then maybe you should look into online shopping, but you'd probably be horrified to open the door to a delivery driver saying hello to you.

He isn't checking you out. As people have already explained he's just watching out for know shoplifters. He's probably looking at you a bit more closely as you've aroused his suspicion by trying to avoid walking past him.

As someone who's worked retail/ hospitality for a number of years, we do realise that some people struggle with social interaction due to being ND etc and would never take it personally. It is always nice though when the majority of people that can do acknowledge you and complaining about this man as though he is doing something wrong is out of order.

Have you read all of the replies?
There's lots of 'I'm alright Jack' replies, with no consideration of the simple fact that we don't all experience the world in the same way. Anyway, I've tried to speak up for those who might struggle, thankfully some folk have related - I'll focus on that positive. Have a good Sunday all, if you can.

Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition

Christ are men just not allowed to exist? God forbid one works at a grocery store no wonder boys turn to people like Andrew Tate when woman like you would rather all men live in a cave somewhere lest they pass a woman on the street

There is no issue to address ffs! The man is doing his job. He’s not there greeting people
out of choice or creepiness. Ignore him, don’t ignore him, it’s your choice. Frankly I don’t care why someone would feel uncomfortable about it because it’s such a non-issue and the only answer is to get over it.

Tell me you know nothing about ASD, anxiety, trauma, depression, introversion etc etc, without actually telling me. Saying 'it should' doesn't help when 'it isn't'.

Our local Asda have a one way system now. I'm sure it's to stop shop lifters sneaking in helping themselves to the meal deals chiller. Which we pass on the way out. They have also removed stock from the lobby area. I've been reminded a few times to go in the other way.

I have just started needing to use busses, it's about 50/50 here (SE & London).

it's automatic to me, it surprises me how it's not to many others.

Yes, because it should be easy for people to say hello to each other - especially when one of those people is just doing their job.

Honestly, if someone struggles to the point where they can't talk a male member of staff in a shop, they should invest in some therapy to make their lives easier.

Why not say "I already have it, thanks." He's only doing his job.

Oh dear god, do be serious. He's not singling her out. He's paid to say hello & goodbye to ALL people going in & out.

He's not interested in her or her home life.

Really not seeing the issue.

This is a you problem. You are the one feeling like you have to interact, not him. He probably couldn't care less. Stop trying to make it about him.

It isn't necessarily rude though, that's the thing that some folk are struggling with.

Just say "hi" and "bye". It's a polite human interaction. I'm genuinely not sure why you have a problem with this, and him being a man.

I’ve been on plenty of Central London buses, I can recall people saying thank you to the bus drivers. It is not out of the ordinary to say thank you to the bus drivers there.

Please remember it's not the staff member's fault. I used to work in a shop where management suddenly decided they needed a greeter at the door. I'd be made to do this for at least 1 hour - up to 3 hours if short staffed or that day's manager decided to fuck you over. Fake cheerfulness isn't good for you - it was an absolutely soul destroying element of the job, which took me away from the job I signed up for (actually helping people/being proactive). We're not expecting you to greet us back btw.

If you do anything, please write to the shop's management to say that it comes across as fake, disingenuous, interrupting etc. But only if you'd still feel that if it were a woman. For the sake of the staff, they'll be very pleased not to be on door duty anymore!

Oh behave yourself he is not “checking you out” He is probably looking out for any identifiers so he can provide information about you if you are a shoplifter.

You don't have to, but it IS rude not to.

To you perhaps. Ignore my comments if you feel happier that way.

I'm in the Midlands and I'm amazed too. It's standard for most people to say thanks as they get off.

To be honest though the OP doesn't have to say a single word to the staff member.
She can literally just walk past them.
Like probably 100s of other customers do every day.
The staff member won't really care that much.