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AIBU?

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Original poster

Male staff member in store

310 replies

Pbjsand · 18/05/2025 09:32

Not sure if IAMBU about this, but it irritates me to no end:

I often go to a store for groceries. The store has taken to putting a male member of staff at the door (not security) to greet customers. I’m usually rushing in and out after/before school run and every.single.time. I have this man in my face saying hello as I enter and goodbye 5-10 mins later as I leave.

I feel harassed and like I’m forced to interact with an unknown man for no apparent reason when I just want to get on with my shopping, even when I make a point of looking away, trying to enter the store as far as possible from where he’s standing. It makes me so uncomfortable but I can’t put my finger on why.

OP posts:
ScottBakula · 18/05/2025 10:11

corlan · 18/05/2025 10:00

It's not Troy Hawke from The Greeter's Guild is it,?

Ooh I'd find him very annoying but I guess for some people he may be the only nice person they talk to that day so perhaps it's not that bad.

Obviously the shopping centers communication with there own staff isn't great and I guess either someone reported him or security are hot on there cctv watching.

@Pbjsand as pp have said the member of staff is just doing his job, ignore or engage but don't let it get under your skin.

Koalafan · 18/05/2025 10:11

GenderFluid90 · 18/05/2025 10:05

Yeah if it had been a woman greeter this wouldn't have been a post.

Show quote history

I don't enjoy forced interaction with females either.

SunsetCocktails · 18/05/2025 10:10

Why did you highlight the fact he’s male? I get the impression if it was a female you wouldn’t have started this thread.
Just smile and nod politely as you enter. It’s really not hard.

Koalafan · 18/05/2025 10:10

Theroadt · 18/05/2025 10:05

Given there is so much shoplifting now I can see why such staff are becoming more common. I think you’re bring a bit silly - very rarely is life too rushed to smile and say hello.

There are reasons why some folk feel uncomfortable with forced interaction. If you cannot relate then be thankful for that. 💖

Cosyblankets · 18/05/2025 10:10

Nod
Smile
Crack on with your day
Same as you would if he was a woman.
What is the world coming to where saying hi and bye is considered harassment.
For some people that may be their only interaction of the day

SnoozingFox · 18/05/2025 10:09

He's just DOING HIS JOB. Literally saying hello to people. There are so many people on here seriously lacking in social skills if having someone say hello to them - with no expectation of any reaction - makes them feel "harassed".

Fucks sake.

Canibebovered · 18/05/2025 10:09

I suppose if you not the engaging type with strangers it can seem unnecessary, personally I speak with so few people daily it’s nice someone greets me and I always respond.

it’s likely it is to deter shoplifting which has become a huge issue for retailers and I welcome them protecting their business as it protects the prices we pay.

my DD’s MIL has a thing she does, smile and wave, and walk away, ie engage but don’t engage (you don’t have to wave). Imagine you are that person at the door and everyone who enters blanks you, that you are invisible to them, rather sad imo.

GenderFluid90 · 18/05/2025 10:08

WatchAnXFilesWithNoLightsOn · 18/05/2025 10:07

Forced to interact with an unknown male is one of the most dramatic ways of describing a store worker doing his job.

This is mumsnet after all..

WatchAnXFilesWithNoLightsOn · 18/05/2025 10:07

Forced to interact with an unknown male is one of the most dramatic ways of describing a store worker doing his job.

GenderFluid90 · 18/05/2025 10:05

HuffleMyPuffle · 18/05/2025 10:03

Today on "no no, MN doesn't hate men at all..."

Yeah if it had been a woman greeter this wouldn't have been a post.

Theroadt · 18/05/2025 10:05

Given there is so much shoplifting now I can see why such staff are becoming more common. I think you’re bring a bit silly - very rarely is life too rushed to smile and say hello.

Koalafan · 18/05/2025 10:03

Smeegall · 18/05/2025 10:01

Gosh some people actually find life so difficult

Yes, they do, and that doesn't mean we should judge them. We all struggle with different things.

Cloudyvibes · 18/05/2025 10:03

I would rather have someone saying hello than the ones from charities/sky/nowtv or energy companies trying to stop and talk to me. A quick hello and goodbye as I walk through sounds fine.

HuffleMyPuffle · 18/05/2025 10:03

Today on "no no, MN doesn't hate men at all..."

GenderFluid90 · 18/05/2025 10:03

It's just a store greeter, not harassment.

Myblueclematis · 18/05/2025 10:01

I was in M&S on Friday, as I left, a woman staff member by the entrance/exit area said goodbye and thank you. I had never seen this before so it may be something new.

I said goodbye automatically but thought if they had enough staff to just leave someone at the entrance to say hello and goodbye, I'd much prefer there were more people manning the tills so you didn't have to wander around for ages trying to find somewhere to pay and then join a growing queue.

Smeegall · 18/05/2025 10:01

Gosh some people actually find life so difficult

londongirl12 · 18/05/2025 10:00

Just smile and keep walking. No idea why this is such an issue.

corlan · 18/05/2025 10:00

It's not Troy Hawke from The Greeter's Guild is it,?

Koalafan · 18/05/2025 09:59

ChickenEggChicken · 18/05/2025 09:57

Why is it so difficult for you to say hello and goodbye to a staff member at the door of a shop? Do you struggle with saying thank you at the till?

Probably the same reason that it's difficult for some folk to realise that we're not all the same. 🫣

Coconutter24 · 18/05/2025 09:59

Store manager “good morning”
Shopper “good morning”…… walks into shop and buys item needed
YABU to be so annoyed by a polite greeting, if it was a sales person or a charity trying to stop you when your busy that is annoying

notprincehamlet · 18/05/2025 09:58

He's just doing his job because he needs to pay the bills like the rest of us. He's not singling you out - if he won the lottery tomorrow he wouldn't keep showing up to work just to bother you. It really shouldn't be that difficult to say hello and move on.

ChickenEggChicken · 18/05/2025 09:57

Why is it so difficult for you to say hello and goodbye to a staff member at the door of a shop? Do you struggle with saying thank you at the till?

Eenameenadeeka · 18/05/2025 09:57

Yes, you're being unreasonable. He's not in your face and it's not a huge interaction, you can just say hello. Or if you aren't worried about being polite you could just say nothing I guess.

IkeaMeatballGravy · 18/05/2025 09:56

We usually have someone at the door and shock horror sometimes it will be one of my male colleagues. It's primarily a way of deterring shoplifters in a way that is subtle to our genuine customers. Many people, especially elderly folk will take the opportunity to ask the greeter for help rather than struggle silently through the store.

A staggering amount of stock is stolen every day and it drives up prices for other customers. That chap on the door may be preventing you from paying higher prices. He will be used to the occasional person ignoring his hellos, so you could just walk on past him, but does it really take that much effort to just say hello back and get on with your shop?