Parents hate the Childfree

The best was a friend, who also has adult kids, to whom this occurred. She picked up toddler, took back to parents table and plonked them directly on a cold plate of something (can’t recall what food it was now). Parents went ballistic, she pointed out they only had themselves to blame and to call the police if they felt the need, then returned to eat dinner in peace away from grubby little hands grabbing at the tablecloth while parents sat there smiling believing it was cute.

because that definitely happened 😂

This ^ No need for it. It is always unsolicited advice about their hyperthetical children as well. Eyeballing a particular sibling of mine! 😫

I couldn't care a less about people who haven't got kids, but stop it with the unsolicited advice and whinging about the very existence of children, the judgement is ridiculous. Some children have additional needs, ND/SEN etc. Some are just badly behaved, because of poor parenting. You don't know, you see a snapshot of somebody's day, so keep your judgement to yourself.

Disclaimer: I realise there are lots of people without kids that don't do the above.

I have 4 children and my best friend is child free. I certainly don't hate her and it honestly never crossed my mind that it could be an issue, either for me or her.

Ugh, yes, what an incredibly nasty thing to do.

I your friend set a child ON a plate of food? What the actual?

@Ontothenextac If you are being honest , how often has this actually happened to you? Be honest I said!!

I’d say it would average once a year, and that’s going to pricey restaurants to try and avoid situations like this. However, it’s not just isolated to me, happens to others I know, so even if the same frequency for them, it adds up!

The best was a friend, who also has adult kids, to whom this occurred. She picked up toddler, took back to parents table and plonked them directly on a cold plate of something (can’t recall what food it was now). Parents went ballistic, she pointed out they only had themselves to blame and to call the police if they felt the need, then returned to eat dinner in peace away from grubby little hands grabbing at the tablecloth while parents sat there smiling believing it was cute.

No, I would never allow my kids to do that, but of someone's toddler was having a hard day and did that to me, and the parents were trying, I would probably just laugh.

There's a middle ground between "kids should be not seen or heard until they are 18" and "kids running ramant". Compared to many countries, the UK tends toward the former.

Exactly

that poster clearly had not bothered to read the thread but just ploughed In anyway

I think tbis thread rather does the opposite.

Me neither
it’s neither here nor there for me

I have always had friends who were child free - I just never thought about it.

It is a difference in view
but either way, I can very much assure you… no offence taken 😂

How is it a difference of view? I didn’t say “my childfree friends are much better than those with children” I simply said they are fantastic. You saw this and felt the need to post a paragraph on how I was wrong.

You assumed my opinion without me even posting more than a passing statement in one direction. Perhaps you would prefer everyone only make fully inclusive statements from now on. I love grapes, they are fantastic - but please be aware I also think strawberries are amazing too and my fondness for grapes in no way disrespects or diminishes my equal love for them 🤡

Offended?

you read a difference of view as someone being offended

good grief

Okay. Weird. I dunno why you’re offended by what I said. I didn’t say other parents weren’t fantastic. That wasn’t the question OP asked. They asked if people with children hate the childfree, to which I replied “No, I have many childfree friends. They are fantastic.” I literally just answered the question. I wasn’t excluding or insulting people who have children. Funnily enough, I am one of those.

I get to have different kinds of relationships with the childfree and my friends with children. This is a great and beautiful thing. I’m not ranking them, just appreciating and making note that having childfree friends, as a parent, is a beautiful thing. I didn’t think I needed to specifically highlight “other parents are great” when being by asked if, as a parent, I hate childfree people specifically.

If it's so awful here on MUMsnet and us pesky parents then I highly highly reccomend childfreenet.

Good luck with that

we get a post or two
from threads back in 2021

I have friends with children
I have friends without children

neither group “fantastic” because they are or are not parents.

They are fantastic because they are my friends and I think they’re fantastic! Those with children were fantastic before they had children. Those without children would be fantastic if they do have children.

I’ve seen hateful posts about children, people choosing to have children, as well as people without children.

I’ve been on and off mumsnet for 20 years and have noticed the hateful threads and posts about children have increased massively in the last couple of years. When posters say they hate children, some respond by making a dig at people without children so that would account for more of those too.

I’m sure most posters aren’t interested in hating children, parents or people without children. As usual it’s just some who want to cause division and others getting caught up in it.

I've never had any reaction that could be called hate / hatred from parents because I don't have any children. There was some startled disbelief at first from family members, as if not wanting them was an insane choice, but that died away when people got used to it. I imagine women get that much worse.

On Mumsnet, there's sometimes a patronising othering by many parents. See the threads entitled something along the lines of "What do childfree people do with their weekends?" for examples. You'll see that many posters with children see the lives of their childfree acquaintances as a pointless void, with absolutely nothing to do, and time wasted on lie ins, bottomless brunches and other empty pursuits. I think my favourite comment was when formerbabe declared that she was "fascinated by childfree people who have cleaners". Those were her exact words. I've also read on here that people who don't have children aren't proper grown ups.

There's also plenty of sympathy for us as poor lambs who haven't had our epiphany, and so have yet to see the light, as we trudge through our black and white lives, never seeing the technicolor that parents have. And, of course, we never get to experience true love.

The closest I see to hatred / dislike is when non-parents might want Christmas Day off work, meaning that parents might have to work it, and therefore it might be less magical for their children. But most threads about that now have the majority of parents agreeing that childless /childfree should also have their turn in having Christmas off.

? It’s fantastic that most of my friends are child free? I don’t understand what’s not to understand. I have children, they don’t. I love my many childless friends. They’re always on adventures and I get to join, plus they also love my children. Win win

That sounds like a very healthy approach. I can only imagine the criticism we'd get if we focused on our old age half as much as some parents seem to...I think they'd tell us to get therapy. But it's like they can't wait to be elderly just to prove a point! I'd rather not waste 20 years in my prime doing something I don't wanna do (raise kids) for some hypothetical "insurance" in old age.

So you're saying it's fine for a child to go up to another table at a restaurant and take food off it?!?!? Wow. You've just red flagged yourself as one of those "inconsiderate parents". Congrats. Crazy how many people have kids but then fail to adequately parents them and expect society to deal with the consequences.

Can you give us some examples of the hateful comments?

I've seen people mention others being childfree, but I don't think that's the same.