Parents hate the Childfree

Its as stupid as saying girls like pink and hate blue.

I have skim read and I gather OP hates children and is twisting that into parents hating child-free people, specifically her. Have I got that right?

As a PP says Mumsnet seems a strange forum for this person to choose. Is there nowhere we parents can go to get away from pesky child free people?

Yeah I’d say some sort of insecurity on OPs part makes them fixate on and give too much weight to these very unusual and extreme opinions.

i was happily child free until surprise pregnancy at 38. Now also happy. Don’t hate parents or non parents. Have never heard a friend or acquaintance who is a parent say anything along the lines of hating child free people. Once a very elderly woman said to me “now you’re a parent your life has meaning at last’” and me and my friends all laughed at this silly antiquated opinion.

I personally just hate twats, regardless of their parental status.

Some parents do not like kids.
Some parents love kids.
Some childfree do not like kids.
Some childfree love kids.

TBH, thinking about it, I see more visceral disgust from some child-free people towards children than I've ever seen from parents towards the child-free.

I have seen more hatred of kids from parents than from childfree. I work in safeguarding and I can tell you that those exhibiting their dislike of children is mainly parents. Abuse mainly comes from those with kids than those without.

Did somebody really come out with that patronising garbage?

I truly support a woman's choice to live how she wants

But childfree people don't half bang on about being child free 🙄

They're worse than vegans, just inserting it into random conversations, telling everyone how much sleep they get, unprovoked 🙄🙄

Are people still coming to Mumsnet, who aren't Mums to bitch and moan about Mums.

JFC makes the men look saintly..

HATE is a very strong word. However envy at times of the freedom the childfree have to do anything at any time (outside school hols esp.) is a big maybe.

In my experience the child free actually like children - in small doses, that's because they can be around them if they feel like it, then enjoy their company but can take it or leave it. Parenting is full on 24/7 really. I don't blame parents for being envious sometimes, but hate? I don't think so, unless the childfree person provokes them with unsavoury comments about their kids etc.

Live and let live.

Which places are these? The childfree on mumsnet seem far too obsessed with not having children around compared to normal childfree people I know in real life.

This post summarises the situation quite well l think. A friend of mine had children and l didn't (at the time). Minor things would visibly enrage her e.g. if l had booked a holiday, was looking to buy a house that l mentioned had good storage for our vinyl collection etc. She would openly make clear it was oh, so indulgent 🙄 and "a sign we didn't have children as that was too much of a luxury for them". Even after our first round of IVF failed she had to get digs in as we had the cheek to book a weekend way: "we would love to go away for the weekend but we spend too much money on childcare). She was a mummy martyr e.g. she did all the night wakings, wouldn't use babysitters, had a rule where she wouldn't go out for the evening more than 1.5 miles from the house It was a bit of a juxtaposition as she insisted on having 2 children very close together. But then went on and on and on about the cost of childcare for 2 under 2. Also she was quite controlling (or rather tried to be!) e.g. me arriving at her house during nap time was the only way apparently, even if that meant me getting up at 5am to make this happen (we didn't live close to each other). Then l got told she was a lot busier than me and l was selfish (l was regularly working 55-60 hours a week and getting divorced so not really!).

She was a hard person to be friends with as she was so wrapped up in herself / her children. I felt sorry for her husband

Needless to say we aren't friends now. I have friends now who don't have children and l don't do any of these things. I get the odd pang of envy especially when l very tired (the pregnancy appears have triggered a physical health issue that's quite draining) or if the children or l am ill. But have the emotional maturity to know this is a phase of my life and not forever

Is this actually hateful? I think it's just someone's opinion that I happen to disagree with 🤷‍♀️ the poster doesn't say she hates child free women.

Presumably you are a professional? I have a childfree close friend whose advice has been absolutely invaluable about educational matters because she is a professional. We are incredibly lucky to have her in our lives for many reasons in addition to the advice.

I’m really glad to see the posts on this thread counteract the reality of perceived social division.
Just like every other divisive nonsense on social media.
Thank goodness most people are normal and just get on with life with all members of their communities and society.

If I'm honest, I don't ever think about childfree people - I love having kids and have always wanted them. But if I didn't I'd have no qualms in not having them.

I don't like it when childfree people make disparaging comments about kids in general, but tbh parents do that too - so I dislike that. Don't care if someone is childfree or not

That goes both ways. If by your logic it’s fine to not like children, then really it must also be fine to not like the childfree. They are both equally ridiculous positions.

I agree with the person above who said that a tiny number of (online only) childfree people like OP seem to think that in to respect someone’s decision (or circumstance) to be childfree is not the same as to respect their right to discriminate against children.

I mean it’s not going to impact your life one bit what a stranger on the internet says?

This is brilliant.

You’re trawling mumsnet and insta literally looking for posts which offend you. People who are happy with their choices don’t do that. You keep repeating “hate” accompanied by digital foot stamping and hoping for evidence people online and in real life are giving as much head space to your choices as you are theirs.

It’s not sounding terribly healthy. There’s a childfree board on here where you’ll find likeminded posters but this thread is very silly.

I'm child free and if anything, I see parents being supportive of child free people on MN. Most of the comments pull posters up if digs are made. Likewise, I don't like snide comments about child free people enjoying benefits of not having kids, unless they are made in a relevant context.

Jealousy. I have children and of course I don’t hate childfree people. But my goodness I’m jealous of their freedom. We went to BBQ yesterday. Most people there were parents of kids and babies (10 and under). Everyone said they have to get home for bathtime, bedtime, story, the rigmarole of getting excited kids in bed. But one couple with no kids were just going home and doing sweet FA, absolute bliss that you just can’t imagine when you have a busy family life.

Some have more knowledge than parents in certain areas. I have potty trained thousands of children more than any of my parent friends have. I can therefore easily advise parents on how to potty train their children, problems they may face, helpful tips etc. So a parent with a potty training problem not asking advice from someone who has more knowledge than them because they are childfree is somewhat short-sighted.

I don't care. My children are 18 and 16 now, I think there is a small section of your life when having children/not having children/talking about children can be all encompassing but once you are past that it all matters so much less. I'm so glad I had kids, my teenagers are great company and great humans but at this point in my life I hopefully have a lot of life to lead(I'm not yet 40) where children aren't a huge feature too.

Life is long for lots of us if we are lucky and there are lots of different 'seasons', just one of them is really focused on the question of children/raising children. I know some people seem militant about dividing lines between those who have children and those who don't but I think that's mainly the Internet. In real life I have friends with and without. I see quite a lot of the friends without children at the minute because we both have a lot of free time given my kids are teens/adult and less of the friends with small children because they are busy doing the hands on stuff but I know that will change with time too.

But by the same token, ‘why do you care if they [in your case, they being parents] think or say that? I mean it’s not going to impact your life one bit what a stranger on the internet says?’

I am Op

it is odd because on the very thread you are referring to you say

But people hate lots of things. You can’t police other people’s opinions.
So you don’t believe this anymore Op?

in any event OP, you’re getting yourself worked up about what even on this very thread kind of indicates…. Teeny tiny minority.

but you seem quite determined to carry on getting het up

coffee and fresh air?

Agree with this.

Excluding children from public spaces or making them unwelcome is disproportionately going to affect women, because that’s who still does the majority of the childcare. So by default you’re excluding women too.

Children are one of, if not THE most vulnerable group in society. They’re human and they deserve respect. It’s not ok to post that you hate old people, disabled people or black people - it shouldn’t be ok to post that you hate very young people either - and I do see it quite a bit online.

No issue with childfree or childless people whatsoever- I was until 40 and my best friend is happily childfree - her life looks lovely and I’m envious of some parts of it whilst I still wouldn’t swap. I’ll be honest she’s stayed a closer and better friend to me as I’ve navigated parenthood than other friends who are parents.