Parents hate the Childfree

Do you really want me to show you ALL the social housing threads criticising tenants for under occupying?

Nice detective work!

I doubt the op will be back.

Where was this quote supposedly posted? The only trace of it I can find is in your comment.

It's more sensible for many reasons to not have children.

Mine are older now so it's a bit different but when my children were younger I did find that the relationship with my child-free friend became strained. I think it was the terrible shock of realising a. how difficult it is having children and b. how I'd put myself in a situation of constant worry that would never end (I have GAD and autism). I was totally immersed in something that she couldn't understand and of course, people with children know this because they never understood before they had children (although admittedly my cognitive empathy wasn't great). This may be different for more relaxed people....I was an autistic single parent with two autistic DC.

Sorry to hear of your circumstances against your choice.

I think though, that for example, the Rightmove thing, is how you're receiving it. Because it's exactly how DH and I talk to each other.

We'll see something pristine on Rightmove and it's just a joke to say "well they haven't got twins eh" as we sit amongst the trail of whatever ours have strewn across the room. It's just idle chat. It's not hidden loaded motive about having children or not. Because it naturally crosses your mind because of your particular situation, doesn't mean everyone's an arse for it not being theirs and not forethinking that they can't make a throwaway comment about a showhome looking house on a website. If someone says "pah, they haven't got a life" they're almost poking fun at themselves for being a bit messy, suggesting they wished they had the time to be more tidy. It's not a hidden dig at having/not having children. It's laughing at the state of your own house.

Well that is ridiculous. My child free friends are constantly doing things I can't do because I have children, such as day long bike rides and sailing trips, impromptu date nights, holidays which aren't child friendly etc.

I often feel that they have more of a life than I do in that respect.

I imagine it is all more enjoyable for those who have chosen not to have children because they wanted the freedom to do all that stuff instead, but to say that people without children have no life is absurd.

Life is what you make it, with or without kids. Don't waste yours on people who are rude and unkind to you.

So you know you don’t need to be friends with people like this don’t you?

Yeah definitely not two separate things in their eyes.

Two separate things surely

“tell they don’t have a life” ie maybe it is a blank canvas?

”tell they don’t have kids” maybe means it is very very tidy and no toys about

but presumably you know that your family and friends are being barbed about it, hence my suggestion to maybe get different friends

Yup. Often it's unconscious and flung away comments e.g. look at this Rightmove house. You can tell they don't have a life and don't have kids. It's thoughtless but not usually malicious. It's the frequency of it that gets too much sometimes.

Oh FFS OP! Are childfree people a homogeneous group with a hive mind? No, of course not! So neither are parents! I'm a parent, a grandparent, and I can't stand most kids tbh. My own kids are adults now (thank fuck). My DGD is an absolute delight, but I'm so fucking happy when DSD takes her home. I can't stand my nephews, unfortunately, that's not their fault, but it's down to the parenting of my sister and BIL.

I avoid kids as much as possible. They're delightful in small doses, but the only kids I've ever been able to be around for long periods of time are my own.

I’d take 1!!

“Friends”? “Relatives”?

bloody hell

distance yourself
get new friends

People who are child free - fine.

People who are parents - fine.

Very happy for both sides.

I am child free - when I'm around children and finding it too much I just think 'well it's only for a short period' 😄. Probably much the same thought as actual parents sometimes have.

This was verbally in person, not that it should matter. You won't believe me I guess but that's absolutely fine as I know it happened. I get comments regularly from friends, colleagues and relatives. It hardly makes being infertile easier.

I think there are issues with a handful of those in the childfree community not accepting children are humans. Obviously that will get parents riled up.

Things such as those in the childfree community complain about children being on aeroplanes (not misbehaving, just simply existing in on public transport). Those living near primary schools complaining about the noise of children playing in the playground/ asking why teachers allow the children to shout and run around 🙄 or moaning about accomidations for children / families such as parent parking spaces being bigger.

I don't hate those who are childfree, I respect their choices as long as they respect my children's right to exist in public

Our two teens have, throughout their lives, given us more joy and laughter which far outweighs the worry and money spent on them. They fill our house and lives with humour, energy, inquisitiveness, it is a privilege to bring them up. Each of them make us belly laugh at least once a day, they make us travel and go out more and we are bonded as a family that would be very different without them.

Why would we hate someone who didn't have this?

Why would someone hate us because we do?

Hate is a strong word. Dislike might be more appropriate in this regard, but it still stands.

If we had never had children, which we didn't know when we got together, then we wouldn't miss what we never had. And parenthood isn't for everyone. We didn't have children to piss anyone else off. We chose the family that was possible for us. That's it really no big secret. We wanted a child, we wanted our child to have a sibling, that's it.

If you have hate for a whole bunch of strangers, or just an intolerance that is unreasonable, that is very much a you problem.

So no I don't hate the childless or any other large groups of named people, that's just insanity.

Unless this was in RL?

I was asking @KimberleyClark for examples of posts

Could you show examples, say, 3 parents who've told you that you should live in a shoe box if you don't have kids?

Just 3. Out of the "lots".

So can you actually post a screen shot?

because quite honestly you could say you were called anything

I would like to see one. Just one!!

I was once told I didn't have a life because I didn't have children.
I've also been told I'll never feel true love if I don't have a child.
I was also told I was a career driven ball buster as I didn't have a child.

Among many others. Little did they know that I can't have children. Not that it should matter what the reason is.

I don’t know a single parent that envies childfree . Quite the opposite

Well a lot of parents on here think you should only live in a shoe box if you dont have kids
I got told on here that i shouldnt be living in social housing if i dont have kids despite the fact i only have a one bedroom flat. And there are always threads on here in the run up to Christmas where parents are trying to hassle childfree collugues into working the Christmas shifts despite the latter having done it the year before or several years on the trot

Could you maybe give some examples where you have been criticised and scorned for not having Children @KimberleyClark ?

just one would do

No I’m not a parent. I wanted to be at one point. Never happened. Fertility issues. No longer sad about it. That’s why I posted that thread on the Mumsnetters without Children board, which is for Mumsnetters without children for any reason. It’s not actually called the childfree board. . You’ve obviously been looking for ways to trip me up though?

ETA @Rumbley apology accepted,no probs.