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Original poster

So much negativity on social media about having children

138 replies

2025isavibe · 17/05/2025 22:35

I feel like all over Instagram/Facebook/tiktok is negatively about having children

  • your body looks worse and will never look the same/as good
  • you are exhausted all the time
  • you will never have any time to do anything
  • you will do all the mental load and your partner will do nothing which you will massively resent him for
As someone in their 30s fairly sure they don't want kids, it just enforces and backs up this feeling
OP posts:
HelloVeraPlant · 17/05/2025 23:59

Weird post OP!

Why not put this in the childfree section?

Why go on a parents forum, create a post with primarily negative bullet points about parents - specifically mums because dads don’t have their bodies impacted by childbirth - then end by letting us know you are happy with your choice?

Slightly arsy.

If you are happy with your decision - good for you.

As a parent, I’m happy with my decision but I don’t have time to go on social media and swipe at content about the misery of childfree people to validate my life choice. I’m sure if I go looking for it, I will find it. On the other side, I don’t rant about my parenting experience for people to mum shame.

Anyways - I hate mum-shaming so much - so sorry if my post is harsh. To answer your questions

  • your body looks worse and will never look the same/as good -

I don’t even look like I have kids - so false - all my mum friends are beautiful - Yh, we might complain about our bellies - but childfree people also come in all sorts of shape and sizes. Most people think I’m a female in my early 30s or late 20s but that’s down to genes

  • you are exhausted all the time -
You can be. It’s maybe 3-4 years of the baby stage. When they are I’ll. But like many have said it depends on the child you have, your lifestyle. I know childfree people who say they are exhausted but they are high achievers or busy people or have other caring responsibilities - or have rubbish partners
  • you will never have any time to do anything -
I’ve been a mum for 12 years, I worked, started a business, have hobbies, do community work … I do alot actually - sometimes more than average but shows I make time and I still spend lots of time with my family - who I prefer a lot of the time
  • you will do all the mental load and your partner will do nothing which you will massively resent him for
my partner is more domestic than me and we share the load. I also have an amazing family and set of friends that are both parents and child free and they have helped me remove the mental load

Being a parent does not mean it’s the end of your life.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 17/05/2025 23:46

2025isavibe · 17/05/2025 23:07

My question is is it all true I suppose. And would I have a more miserable life if I had children and just feel all these things and be exhausted and unhappy.

Show quote history

You can't know for sure until you do it. It's a massive gamble and if you don't enjoy it, you can't give the kid back. So I think it's mad to do it unless you have a very strong urge to have a child.

Goingawayistricky · 17/05/2025 23:17

I guess now not having children is a valid choice,it’s g becomes one more thing to weigh up and read the reviews on.

Worth pointing out that kids are in fact a random lottery. Conception - fluke mostly, birth - literally the opposite of whatever you put in your plan , child- their own person from day 1.

HardbackPaperback · 17/05/2025 23:15

2025isavibe · 17/05/2025 23:07

My question is is it all true I suppose. And would I have a more miserable life if I had children and just feel all these things and be exhausted and unhappy.

Show quote history

But you said you are pretty sure you don’t want them?

No, that doesn’t reflect my experience in the slightest. I had an interesting, fulfilling life before having DS at 40, and I have an interesting, fulfilling life now. DS is wonderful, and I’m delighted I had him, but I’d have been just as happy had I remained childfree, a bit differently. It has, however, never occurred to me to consult SM on major life decisions, like whether to create another human being.

Jumpingthruhoops · 17/05/2025 23:11

2025isavibe · 17/05/2025 22:35

I feel like all over Instagram/Facebook/tiktok is negatively about having children

  • your body looks worse and will never look the same/as good
  • you are exhausted all the time
  • you will never have any time to do anything
  • you will do all the mental load and your partner will do nothing which you will massively resent him for
As someone in their 30s fairly sure they don't want kids, it just enforces and backs up this feeling

Well, I guess all those things are true, and some people are willing to compromise on them. I - as someone also childfree - am not. And those kinds of 'negative' posts just reinforce my position...

Original poster
2025isavibe · 17/05/2025 23:07

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 17/05/2025 22:41

What's your question?

My question is is it all true I suppose. And would I have a more miserable life if I had children and just feel all these things and be exhausted and unhappy.

OP posts:
Sarah2891 · 17/05/2025 23:04

There's negativity about just about everything.

Catladywithoutacat · 17/05/2025 23:03

Don't watch these things,

StMarie4me · 17/05/2025 22:58

None of that is news. The first point is true for most but so what? If you only value yourself from what your body looks like that’s a very short window.

It’s tiring for the first few years but also joyful.

You do different things.

Don’t have a child with a man like that.

Endofyear · 17/05/2025 22:55

Maybe spend less time on social media? I wouldn't base my decisions on what strangers on the internet say 🤷‍♀️

Picklechicken · 17/05/2025 22:49

Tooearlytothink · 17/05/2025 22:37

You see what you interact with so the more of these things you read/watch/look at the more you’ll see

Yep this. Ive never seen any of that at all!

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 17/05/2025 22:41

What's your question?

Tooearlytothink · 17/05/2025 22:37

You see what you interact with so the more of these things you read/watch/look at the more you’ll see

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