Partner has gone on an all dayer ‘Wetting the baby’s head’

Gosh I haven’t heard that expression since the 80s and then it was said by elderly people.

it’s not great OP - if he wants a pass to go on a bender he should call it what it is.

Make sure he does his share from now on, and you get a spa day in the next couple weeks.

I disagree with you on day time drinking. You get the usual socialisation but an early night. Brunch is too early for me but mid afternoon meet up and home by 8 is great.

You've chosen the wrong person to breed with.

Wouldn't bother me at all.

Decent men/dads don’t get so drunk that they puke on the doorstep and leave it for the health visitor to step over. Bet he also thought it was woman’s work to clear it up.

Bet there aren’t many mums who leave a present like that for a health visitor

Totally unnecessary and dickish behaviour. My ex did this. On the back of your thread I had a chat with my partner about this and his response was "what an absolute dick. Well done you managed to pass on your genetic material, bumble about on the sidelines for 9 months while your partner created life then disappear to get wankered when you're needed? Jesus.". (Updated with full comments)

some men think this is ok. Hopefully it's not indicative of who he is otherwise.

Decent men don’t go and get wankered all day when their partner and newborn are at home 2 weeks after birth. They just don’t. I’m sorry for what influences in life you have had to make you believe this is an acceptable standard.

Your oh obviously has a group of friends who he enjoys going out drinking with. Wetting the baby's head is just an excuse. You don't like him doing that and that's understable.

It is obviously not healthy or attractive to you for partner to go out drinking all day but he is entitled to go out, as are you. Go get that spa day booked !

Exactly. Unless OP is now going to tell us he does this every week. As a one off I think it’s fine

I can’t work out what the problem is? Are you not allowed to go out drinking with your mates after a baby?

He doesn’t take the baby with him, it’s just an excuse for a piss up !!

Is he an older OP, or from a more traditional WC background? I think this was more common within mining communities and similar .I think as a one off OK unless he makes a habit of it!

Exactly this.

It doesn’t surprise me that some sort of ‘wetting the baby’s head’ ritual is still A Thing in some circles.

In this case specifically though, I do question why on earth it’s necessary to start drinking during the day. I guess afternoon pints in pubs going through to the evening just = far, far too much alcohol. But I feel equally turned off by bottomless brunches. What’s wrong with meeting 7:00pm in the pub for a few drinks and being home before 11:00pm.

OP, I’d also find this really annoying. However, if in the grand scheme of things he is great in all the other ways I’d register my disappointment and then move on. It’s a one-off.

In the late 80s when we had our first, mums were in hospital for 7 days..DH and his mates went out on the lash while I was still in the hospital. He was very hungover when he saw my DGM who thought he was coming down with something and knitted him a scarf! 😅
I was fine about it, they didn't get into trouble, I and baby weren't there anyway. If he generally pulls weight fine, if its a pattern of self absorbed behaviour then it's not.

This is a tradition where I’m from too, maybe a northern thing…he went out when the baby was 5 days old - I had my best friend round for a takeaway and catch up while he was out.

He wanted to go out and celebrate becoming a dad again , it would not bother me . If it was every week I would be annoyed but I would bank it and take the opportunity to spend some time getting to know my new baby. I would also look forward to him taking the slack the next day .

It is a tradition and people still do it. It’s just a celebration of the baby being born. Men are usually the participants for obvious reasons.
I wouldn’t be happy about him coming home slaughtered or taking the piss with time, but at a few weeks old I don’t think its terrible that he’s gone out.

My thoughts too. 'It's all fine' - he carried on as usual and his ex partner dumped him for being a shit partner and father

It’s not weird or dangerous, it’s just another excuse for men to get drunk, it’s been happening for generations

Your correct, she should LTB, ten minute after a baby is born.

Loony response.

Hmm, reading between the lines, was he downplaying how much life will change with a baby because he had no intention of his life changing at all? Did he do a lot of looking after his baby from his other relationship or just leave his ex to do it all?

Anyway, I have heard of wetting the baby's head, but an all day bender is not it

It’s the insinuations that those of us who don’t think our children’s fathers should be chained to the front door and can manage perfectly well for a day without him and so we must have ‘very low bars’ that I find hysterical!

If it’s a one off day out then it’s fine, if it’s a regular weekend occurrence then I wouldn’t be happy.

dh had a night out after our first child was born, I didn’t mind as he rarely goes out .

So many women on MN with a very very low bar who are married to inadequate men.

Mumsnet is bizarre, this is a totally normal tradition where I'm from. The chat on here about divorcing him because of this 🤣 It's one day ffs, and sounds like the baby's a few weeks old. Hope you get a day to yourself soon though 😊