Partner has gone on an all dayer ‘Wetting the baby’s head’

You can do whatever you like in your marriage. What’s that got to do with another women who thinks it’s piss poor behaviour? OP isn’t ‘gently ushering’ him in and out - if she was she wouldn’t be posting here upset about it. He’s not gently ushering her anywhere either. Why are you minimising that a woman two weeks post partum doesn’t really want her partner out on a huge bender?

So no. You didn’t go out on a 12hr piss up with a two week old and an upset partner at home. Thought so.

‘…he’s been there and done it before’

My DH had 2 teenage children when I met him and I knew he was a good dad because he was bringing them up as a working single parent after their mum died so did absolutely everything that involves. There were no grandparents or siblings to help him out either. He was on his own and doing a great job. I didn’t move in until the youngest had gone to college as he always put them first.

I’m taking a wild punt here and wondering if your DP is capable of looking after either of his two children on his own for at least one full day without any extra input from the womenfolk?

You are making a hell of a lot of assumptions there for someone who doesn’t know me!

Men can be problematic, however that’s why women should rush relationships and should get to know a new partner before procreating. Thankfully dh and I have an amazing relationship.

dh did have a night out when ds was born, he was 3 weeks old and I ushered him out the door and welcomed a drunken dh back in at 2 am, no problem there,

as for me my first day/night out was about 4 weeks after ds was born and dih ushered me out the door mid afternoon and welcomed me back in after midnight.

and bizarrelly our relationship didn’t flounder and we both accept each other having nights out with friends. Just because I’m a parent doesn’t mean I can’t have a social drink or meet up with friends.

in the past I have said I’m going out for a few hours and get home 5 hours later, that’s life sometimes you do get distracted.

relationships are all about give and taken, compromise,

He has a full day out with his mates. Comes home whenever. Then u get exactly the same, anytime u want. I don’t see the prob.

Bank a trip out for yourself, say you will be wetting the baby’s head and that it’s a tradition amongst your friends to go for long spa days.

And what new mum of a two week old, likely sore, bleeding and sleep deprived, and feeding round the clock wants to deal with a steaming adult in the house.

Its really important for new fathers to do this after the stress of the birth, poor wee thing

So basically an excuse for a piss up while you’re at home with the baby. How unattractive.

It is an outdated thing nowadays but it’s basically just a reason to go out and get drunk with his mates isn’t it?

I assume the baby is a few weeks old at least from your post, so what’s wrong with him going out with his friends and getting drunk for the day? You are allowed to go out with your family/friends too OP.

Obviously if he’s getting drunk every weekend and not stepping up then you’ve got an issue. But once in a while? Doesn’t everyone do that?

But he hasn't just "gone out for the day" - he's gone out and got absolutely wasted. Then presumably come home, totally smashed, to a house that has a new baby in it. That's reckless behaviour! It's what students do, or single people going out with their mates for a jolly when they are young and daft. It's not what responsible adults do - particularly given the fact that he could well have to deal with the baby if his partner needs some sleep etc. No one who is drunk should be anywhere near a baby!

Back in the day when it was mainly men who went regularly to pubs, wetting a baby's head would have been a lunchtime pint with a few mates - not an all day bender!

Which part shows OP not being able ‘to bear’ looking after her baby? Are you equating ‘annoyed’ to not being able ‘to bear’ something?

Dramatic much?

You could argue that if a grown woman can’t bare to look after her own child on her own for one day without help from her partner he’s procreated with a bit of a loser too. She hasn’t ‘procreated with a loser’ at all, she’s had a baby with a man whose just gone out for the day.

He wouldn’t be sleeping under my roof. I don’t allow ‘slaughtered’ people around my baby.

Men as a species are highly problematic. Full stop. That’s not coming from bitterness or experience – I’ve never been cheated on or abused and I have a wonderful DH ( p.s one that thankfully would never have dreamed of going on a 12 hours piss up with a 2 week old at home). That’s coming from having eyes in my head.

Did you go on a 12hr piss up and get wankered and leave your 2 week old and upset partner at home? Thought not. Did you tell them you were going for a couple of hours and then proceed to get ‘slaughtered’ and expect them to suck it up? Thought not.

It’s beyond odd that you’d equate a contracted day’s work at employment and bringing in income for your family to going on a 12 hour piss up.

What has ‘coping’ got to do with anything? I’m sure OP could ‘cope’ with a whole heap of other shitty behaviours too. Should she? Absolutely not.

Oh dear OP. You've procreated with a loser.

If he’s a decent bloke apart from this I’d let it go. But if this is one of many symptoms of cockwombleness, then good luck with things.

Yes, let it go and bank a day out for yourself.

Or take the disproportionately outraged opinions of strangers who don't know either of you to heart and have an almighty row over something that is fairly commonplace and ultimately harmless.

Up to you. Personally, I'd bank the day off. 😊

I’m female, but I also understand that yeah I am a parent as is dh but we are allowed a day/ night out with our friends.i probably go out more than dh does.

there is no reason for someone not to cope with a baby when their oh is out on a day/night out. (As long as it’s not every weekend) What does she do when he’s at work?

this is such a man hating site!

Yeah. I’d agree with that.

So have your spa day, when you are ready. Tbh until coming on here, I'd never experienced the idea that one parent can't cope alone and the other goes out.
As said this was traditionally done when Mum was still laying in and well looked after. It was also a celebration of both surviving the birth. It's a bit if an excuse, but as long as he then throws himself to life being around having a newborn, I don't see it as a big deal. No-one I know in RL would.

I’d say it’s fine so long as he never does it again.

as if

I know what you mean, but on other hand the UK has a massive problem with alcohol abuse. There is a lot of denial.

Pretty sure nobody has unironically used the euphemism 'wetting the baby's head' as an excuse for leaving your wife and new baby at home so you can go out and get intoxicated with your mates since the 1970s. Is your husband in his mid seventies? That's the only explanation I can muster for him thinking this is something most new dads do as a matter of course!

What actual harm occurred as a result of this outing?