Partner has gone on an all dayer ‘Wetting the baby’s head’

What does ‘since you’ve had kids’ got to do with anything? OP’s baby is a couple of weeks old. Yeah, actually, a marathon piss up can take a back seat for now.

Unbelievably out of order for going out with mates?

I need help with this. Have you not been out with your friends since you had kids? Your spouse?

It’s not friends and family’s responsibility to support a newly PP mother, it’s the baby’s father. It’s a bonus if they can and do. Newsflash - most newly PP mothers would prefer to receive that support from their partner as well.

What a woman two weeks out from birth of her first baby requires in support from that partner will, in 99% of cases, be completely reasonable and understandable. Not going on a 12hr piss up to get wankered happens to be one of them. He can hold off while she still feel vulnerable and not top of the world.

Not that it’s any of your business, but he’s an amazing dad who is supportive of his dd in every way.
And all this happened 20 years ago, before the puke had a chance to be cleared up the health visitor knocked on the door first thing, and I’d totally forgot she was coming.
Somehow we managed to muddle through our disastrous life, what with my low bar and everything, and my daughter is now thriving at a top university.
(The health visitor is still alive I presume, despite her trauma)

It isn’t me dramatising a man going out for a day. Annoyed about what? Being on her own for a whole day being able to potter about? She could have had family round or friends. But no instead she’s ‘annoyed’. That’s being dramatic.

Save your pity for someone that needs it sweetheart.

Well, it's who he is OP, isn't it? A laddish bloke, with a bunch of 'boys' who are drinkers. There'll be stags, boys weekends, other babies heads to wet, Christmas, Bank Holidays, the football and the impromptu for no reason 'couple' that turns into a session. You will either have to accept this, learn to expect him when you see him, in whatever state he's in, and useless the next day, or try to get him to at least reduce the number of times he goes out so its a rare nuisance rather than a regular one. Obviously you could LTB, but its unlikely you're in a place where you'll consider that. Hopefully he may grow out of it before you reach the point you need to.

How about no?

Making assumptions again.

No gcses in Scotland!

Give it a rest, you're making my stomach sore from laughing at your replies!

I don't have too much of a problem with this as it sounds like you are doing OK. But age with PPs suggesting you make sure there is a time and date for YOU to get some time off with your friends too.

Where has OP or anyone on this thread said any of that? If exaggerating to the point of extremes is the only way you can put across your argument then you need to go back to GCSE English and have a lesson in persuasive writing.

I'd be unimpressed at being misled but honestly if it's a one-off and you're happy otherwise just get over it.

It’s almost as if workplaces, governments and society has decided new mothers need more support than ‘being able to cope’. Funny that.

This is minimising it for what I can only assume is the intent to make the OP appear somehow draconian and controlling. How about she’s two weeks PP and simply telling her partner what she needs at this point in time? Eg, hold off on 12hr piss ups just for now.

Well that would be difficult as most Dads are working by this stage. Thinking back there wasn't any paternity leave. Dad would often be at work day after the birth. ,or not be there at all if like my ex ( not this fault , he was deployed in the ME) and not even meet child until 4 months old.

So mother's have always been able to cope. Not sure why people seems to be unable to do so these days ( not everyone obviously)

What a loser.
God help you.
A likely precursor of things to come.
Keep any support you have like friends and family close.

Unfortunately some people think that when you become a new parent then you aren't allowed out the house. Your focus for the next 18years is solely on your child.

No days out , no nights out because you are a mum and a dad now
You are a parent, stay home!

🤣

What does he do that’s ‘amazing?’

So he's not allowed 1 day out? He's gotta be by her side 24/7?

His partner doesn’t feel supported in him choosing to at this point in her experience as a new mum. That’s the issue.

He was already a dad. He’s been in ‘the club’ for quite some time.

It’s great how ‘celebrating in a dad way’ means getting pissed for 12hrs and ignoring what your newly post partum partner says she needs to feel supported. Way to go celebrate.

If only he’d actually celebrate the two people who are supposed to matter most to him right now. Clearly not.

I dont understand the issue?

A man isnt allowed to go out for the day and get pissed and come home drunk?

Why?

This thread so depressingly shows how a bar for man is on the floor and a bar for a woman is high sky.

A woman two weeks out out from giving birth to her first baby is in the wrong for expressing what she needs at this point in time to feel supported. She ‘should be able to cope’, ‘why can’t she bear to look after her child for a day’. It’s pretty vile.

See I’m with you! It IS a tradition and whilst I accept that new mums are not in usually hospital anymore after baby is born, I think it’s a perfectly acceptable thing to do, especially as his friendship group have always done it. He is part of a very special club now. He’s a Dad. He is celebrating in a Dad way.
As long as he steps up everywhere else, I think it’s fine.

Same here. And I made sure I went out for drinks with my friends also after abstaining from alcohol during pregnancy.

It would be an issue if a regular occurrence but as a one off.....