Partner has gone on an all dayer ‘Wetting the baby’s head’

Which is pretty typical of most people when they go out drinking. If it’s not a pattern and a one off so what?

This is a straw man argument, because this isn’t about parents having the ‘odd day off’. It’s about a woman who’s two weeks PP with her first baby and her partner getting bladdered for 12hrs after 1) misleading her about where he was going and 2) misleading her about how long he was going for.

Been to one since I had kids too. Not sure what the big deal is. But that’s us. I don’t feel the need to make people suffer - particularly my husband - just for the sake of it. If I actually needed him of course. But talk of banking the day isn’t talk of someone needing it.

No. I did. Both children. With various significant complications relating to child birth and a broken leg. I’m not a hero. I just got on with it. He was back at work 10 days post partum anyway. And I recognised that he was also finding it hard so needed time. If I could have I would have but I believe in lifting people up.

Awe honey, did you get picked ..

I'm assuming you didn't breastfeed? Simply because my husband was hugely necessary the first few weeks, my babies fed the clock round, only slept while feeding, at least for the first 6 weeks or so. If I was alone who would be cleaning, doing laundry, cooking? And hats off to women who will now come along and say they did it all but if my husband had left me in the position where that was on me while recovering from a c section and breastfeeding I'd no longer have a husband because what would be the point of him?

Strip club? Yep. No issue with that either.

🤷‍♀️ Shocker.

The sort of man that goes out to wet the babies is also the sort to go on an all day bender and is the sort to go to a strip club.

Of course your concerns are met with "you'll adapt" and it's "nothing to worry about" because he has (predictably) "done it all before". Out of interest, what aftual parenting has he done before?

I wonder why the relationship with the mum of his other kid failed

Ah yes of course, I'm sure the cool wives will say thats fine

Surely if she was really struggling it would be obvious to her husband, or you know she could have asked him not to go out/come home, or she could have rallied in other support. She sounds like a princess who needs to get a grip, being a mother has many challenges and this isn't one.
if she's struggling now god help her in time, 2 wk olds feed and sleep, that's it!
@Didimum gosh you sound very hard work! Are you single?

I was just interested in what made him ‘amazing!’ Turns out, he’s just doing what a decent dad would do! I didn’t really care about him vomiting on the doorstep and the HV seeing it the next day…I couldn’t care a jot about that, he didn’t do it in my doorstep, so 🤷🏼‍♀️

So? That isn’t the case here. Should couples who are coping restrict their lives because others aren’t…?

The starting point here seems to be “oh my god you went out once you have no redeeming features or skills as a parent at all”.

I misinterpreted that she has now found her feet and I did see that she’ll bank it for herself.

Still doesn’t change the fact that some new mums wouldn’t be comfortable with it and some would be and that there are others ways to celebrate a new baby.

It’s nice you were able to manage, not really a contest, but some mums didn’t and do struggle.

I meant in general!

though I was still out and about walking with my baby in the pram after a week as dh only got a weeks paternity leave then .

everyone is different.

and as for @Didimum my bar is set very high, even my daughter says she admires how high my bar is for relationships, friendships etc.She says it’s set her up for friendships and boyfriends and how little she tolerates certain things as I’ve set such a good example. The wise words of a 21 year old.

Being supportive of his child makes him an amazing dad?? Right…I thought that came with the territory, y’know l, just being a parent 🤷🏼‍♀️

It was 12 hours
It was 20 years ago
No one died

I was out and about at 2 weeks with a 3 year old, 2 year old, post c section and a broken leg.

Actually she stated she would bank it for a day out herself. She’s made no reference to finding things really difficult and seems to have a pretty balanced approach. But as normal mumsnet nonsense is taking over. It’s astonishing that so many women think that parent requires two people all the time.

So? Even less reason for man to hang around.

Is it healthy if it has only been a couple of weeks so two or so and OP has stated that she is still finding her feet which is normal.

She may have awhile before she can go out for a bit herself comfortably and as she said, she was led to believe he would be gone for a few hours.

I’d get it if it was maybe where OP could go out for the same amount of time her DH is, but doesn’t read like that is the case.

Is there really no other way to celebrate then getting drunk and having your spouse have to deal with you and a new baby afterwards?

Ha ha. Same here, with my first I could barely walk after 6 weeks!
In those days though (early 90s) we stayed in hospital for a few days at least after a tricky birth so ExDP did go out and wet the baby's head, it was traditional then.

Tricky if you're breastfeeding