Partner has gone on an all dayer ‘Wetting the baby’s head’

I was born in the early 90s and my dad went out to 'wet the baby's head'. He came home absolutely plastered apparently and was later awoken by his gran giving him a firm slap and shoving her best smelling salts under his nose.

My husband has also traditionally wet our babies' heads... with his mates at the local Toby Carvery for an all you can eat breakfast and a coffee, baby in tow so I can have a sleep 🤣

So my dh friends do this (common in our area) but dh went to local for a hour n half. And the wives came to mine for a catch up.

I was going to say that if it's not a regular pattern of behaviour it wouldn't bother me too much but this tips it over the edge. I would be very very unhappy with this and it would take a lot to make it up to me

@OverTheRainbow22 im sorry.

He is showing you his true colours usnt he? No wonder he wasn’t anxious about the arrival of a new chikd. He clearly doesn’t plan to be that involved. But rather to carry on his life as if he was still single. Whilst trying to gaslight you into thinking his actions are all above board.

What’s your plan now?

All good to lift people up, as long as it’s not at your own detriment.

No point in heroic ‘lifting up’.
Esp, as I learnt the hard way, it’s rarely returned when I actually needed it….

I was ok with him ‘wetting the baby’s head’ until I saw this. NOWHERE is it tradition, necessary or the right thing to do to go out on a bender and a strip club ‘to wet the baby’s head’.

You poor thing. I would be so sad, disappointed and disgusted if I was sitting there in breast pads and maternity pads with a tiny newborn and he was in a strip club for God’s sake. I would find this SO disrespectful and hurtful.

I’m so sorry OP. If you are as upset as I would be in your shoes I hope you let him know.

And as appalling as HIS behaviour is I’d question the company he’s keeping too.

OP please ignore people saying this is ok or trying to justify it as having his own time or relaxing with mates..... nope not when the baby is 2weeks old, he should be at home doing what any decent man would be doing.

There is a massive difference between a drink with friends and getting wasted and going to a strip club, lying about it and then I'm assuming being unable to parent the next day. Although I personally wouldnt be loving a drink with friends 2 weeks post partum this is time for getting to know your baby and support each other, getting on top of feeding and sleeping and it's a massive adjustment. Does he have much to do with his other child? I feel like he was equally as useless with his last partner

Those aren’t the circumstances on the thread.

My ex husband did this OP, despite me begging him not to. Note ex husband, although this was the thin end of the wedge when it came to his behaviour. I hope you're ok.

Exactly this. I feel for you OP. How disappointing that this was his idea of an acceptable 'wetting the babies head'.
Personally, I don't think I would be able to come back from this.

Take some time to think about you and the future you want for yourself and your child.

I don't need to speak for myself. I'm not in this situation. I'm speaking about the circumstances on the thread.

Is there going to be strippers down the pub?

Speak for yourself.

It never really works that way. She'll have her day off doing something mild and harmless that doesn't involve strippers and doesn't stop her getting up with the baby in the morning. Then he'll use that to justify his next big night on the lash. Because when it comes down to it, the baby has one parent who will happily render themselves incapable of caring for them without a by your leave, and the OP, who probably never would.

Why do you think that because he went out I never did?

Being away from you when he has to be and you have a newborn, fine. It's telling that you say he was finding it hard so you took some of that off him. Who took the responsibility off you? Why do you need to be stronger than him? Because someone has to parent the baby, right? Well a dad should be as capable of stepping up as aum and a dad should be as dedicated when not at work as a mum. A dad going to get pissed with a 2 week old and post partum partner at home is not a team player

He was supposed to quit his job…? How was that going to work?

Off that's how you want to rationalise your husband letting you get on with it with a newborn and a broken leg then I guess that's what you have to do.

She wants to bank it so she can presumably get a day off too.

No I don’t think it suffering. I think it’s suffering to expect people to have nothing outside their child when they want to spend a day with their mates. A day. Not a year. Not every night. A day. **

I can assure you my bar is high, dh treats me well, we have total respect for each other and we are allowed a day/ night out with our friends, hence why we have lasted 30 years together.

ive seen many people in relationships who have been treated like shit and I wouldn’t tolerate that. A night out isn’t being treated like shit, if it’s a one off. If it’s every weekend then there’s a problem.

you need to relax , stop making assumptions and stop picking apart posts of people who disagree with you. We are all entitled to our own opinions.

you seem more annoyed than the actual OP is. .

I've no idea what that means?

Her level of objection is to bank it. Perfect!

Oh Good. We agree.

I had 6 hours in hospital after my DC born in 94