Partner has gone on an all dayer ‘Wetting the baby’s head’

Sounds like he still likes to go out and have a few. As he says, he's done it all before and presumably learnt from his mistakes.

He can't be passed round a baby. And then fucking useless tomorrow.

He should have stayed in with you. Watched telly. Not waited til you felt better and could be left so he could go on the piss. Make sure you set the same money aside for you.

I hope you are joking.

I wouldn't have been at all happy about this. How dare he leave all the child care to you and behave like a carefree teenager. Surely he's working too, so this weekend day is a rare chance to help you and actually see his newborn?
I'm willing to bet the type of man who thinks this is acceptable is the type who thinks you should do all the night wakes, sees changing a nappy as a big favour to you and thinks you are the default parent, whilst he comes and goes as he pleases.
Don't stand for this. Right now at the beginning is the time to set the groundwork- all his non working hours, baby care and housework are shared equally.

But this assumes that a. She wants to be away from her newborn baby for a whole day. And b. That this is even practically possible/ not a complete pita if she’s breastfeeding, particularly as it sounds like early days still and she may still be trying to establish feeding.
it also ignores that he’s just fucked off and not discussed it. Maybe if it was planned and communicated better she could’ve got her mum or a friend or someone to pop in for a bit of moral support.

Sorry, I never explained it well. I meant I was pissed off at him staying out because being a FTM, I didn’t think I could handle being alone with the baby all afternoon and night.

🙄

Oh God this (to me) is such a non issue!
My dds dad got absolutely slaughtered wetting the baby’s head, puked on the doorstep and the health visitor the next day had to step over it!
He is still an amazing dad!

To me it doesn’t matter when it is. If my DH said a few hours, I’d know once he was out having drinks he would be a while! She just needs to get her revenge and do the same and also make him help out as usual tomorrow.

It’s not a night out, he’s spent the day on the piss.

Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your child!

Itisn't great that he has gone out and got shit-faced when you are still recovering from the birth and adjusting...... Especially as it sounds like he wasn't clear with you about the arrangements and how long he was likely to be away.

But I don't think, if this is a one off, it makes him a completely evil shit.....

I guess it's been stressful for him too (not in the same way as for you - he hasn't given birth - but nonetheless he is also adjusting to having a newborn) and he is letting off steam? He may not have planned to get as pissed as he did - when I used to drink I remember that happening to me sometimes, especially if I hadn't been drinking for a while.....

Do you have concerns about his drinking generally? Binge drinking isn't the best look - we all know this - and in a perfect world nobody would do it - but as long as he only does it very rarely, and he isn't a nasty or abusive drunk, I think it's forgivable.......

Definitely you need to get a day to spend with your friends (however you want to) as soon as you feel ready - how soon that will be might depend on how you are feeding the baby, but even if it's not for a while, it will be something to look forward to.

As long as he accepts this and is happy to look after.baby while you get a break, I reckon it's annoying but ultimately not worth rowing over.

He’s having a night out, to celebrate having a baby. You’re fine and baby is fine and yes he’ll probably be hungover but get your revenge and plan a whole day out whilst he looks after the baby.
I don’t think it’s that awful if I’m honest!

Lol he is not literally wetting the baby's head, it's an expression 😅

Have you had a talk, or several, with the mother of his older child? Tbh I would give her a call while he's out. Inform yourself about what you're in for.

This, my partner and our parents had a cheeky drink back home to celebrate the birth of our first, after they'd all been kicked out of the hospital for the evening.

As in... One drink, a quick toast?

Pretty sure that's all that's typical!

My DH didn't go and get wasted to celebrate our child being born. His friends didn't do that either. I wouldn't have liked my DH drunk and incoherent when we had a newborn. There's a difference between having a couple of beers with friends and getting shit faced.

Can't think why his relationship with his first child's mother didn't work out....

Book yourself a spa day for next weekend and let him crack on.

Hopefully this is a one off, if not you have a problem.

Now you know why he was nonchalant about the changes of a new baby - because he didn’t see many, his life carried on as normal, to the point it was reasonable to lie to your partner, go to another town and get slaughtered drunk when she’s struggling at home with a new born. I imagine it’s quite easy to be a parent to a new born when that’s your role.

Agree with Dreichweather. In days gone by mums and babies usually stayed in hospital for 10 days and there were very strict visiting times.

My husband certainly didn't go out to do this, but we definitely wet the babies with visitors at home!

This is shit behaviour. Fine to meet his mates in the pub for a couple whilst they congratulate him - I’m sure you wouldn’t want them all round and whilst it’s just an excuse it can be a tradition and an hour is no great deal.

But to be gone all afternoon, without even discussing it with you.

youll need to raise it with him when he’s sober, and hopefully he apologises and goes on to be an excellent partner to you. It’s not an encouraging sign though, I hope you can get through to him.

Eh?
I’m sure op is just fine with the baby.
It’s hardly the issue.

My OH done this and he’s been out with friends when they’ve had their babies. I too was pissed off, but I genuinely think he had every confidence in me to be fine with the baby all day, where as I was a nervous wreck and thought I wouldn’t be able to cope. Make sure to have a day out with your friends and celebrate you!

So when are you going out for the day op? With your pals and getting drunk?

It's selfish arse hole behavior. Just bloody selfish.