Partner has gone on an all dayer ‘Wetting the baby’s head’

Tbh this is a massive tradition where I'm from (I'm in part of Greater Manchester). Every man I know has gone out to wet the baby's head and it's always a full day/night affair, I'm not saying it's a good thing or even that you should find it acceptable but I've got to be honest that I wouldn't find it unusual.

@OverTheRainbow22 how long have you actually known this guy and why did you choose to have a baby with him?

'Wetting the baby's head' is an old fashion bragging thing to do with having reproduced your genes again.

Can’t see the problem myself, it’s very common where I’m from, I’d have been more shocked if my husband hadn’t gone out to ‘wet the babies head’ following his arrival. Was a lovely day spending time with my new baby all on our own. But, I’m not you and you have every right to be annoyed about whatever you like particularly if he didn’t explain exactly what his plans were.

@KarCat that’s one low bar

It was traditional in the 1950s when looking after baby was woman’s work

It’s an old-fashioned tradition and a ‘type’ of man who does it.

You've never heard of men using a new baby as an excuse to go on a drinking session? Strange.

Wetting the babies head was very common in the north and used to be absolutely standard, although getting less common these days now.

Yes, let’s divorce him because he wants to celebrate the birth of his child. FFS

I am cackling here at the people who think he’s literally wetting the baby’s head with alcohol as he pours it all down himself
and onto the baby 😂

Let him enjoy himself and then you enjoy yourself one day soon. It’s important for you both to still get time away. Just make sure you get a date in.

What a catch. Does he also piss in random places in the house when he's inebriated?

You know not everyone feels slighted and abandoned by something like this. You're speaking as if because you'd be left feeling like you can't cope, everyone would, and everyone requires the constant presence and support of their partner after a baby. With all the love in the world, it really isnt that kind of deal for a lot of us. We don't need our men gazing at us adoringly and rushing to make sure we don't dare walk a few steps after our "horrific ordeal".

It seems like you really need a lot of support and help to care for yourself and your baby properly after birth. Not all of us need that, or want it, so we aren't as aggrieved by an evening (or night) out as you are. We know that our partners will play the role we expect them to, as that's why we are together. We aren't in relationships where we are unsure if the guy will show up for us.

It seems like women nowadays are completely dependent on the presence of a man to feel confident and safe enough to look after a baby. Either that or they are so resentful of being the pregnant party, the breastfeeding one, that they want their partners to feel equally as restricted by parenthood as they are, in exactly the same ways. And if they don't submit to that, then they must not care.

If you didn't want to be the mother of a baby, you shouldn't have had one. Adopt an older kid that you don't have to conceive, gestate and nourish.

One night out to wet the baby's head wouldn't bother you if you were competent, rational, and reasonable as a mother and partner.

What a wonderful,caring ,hands on partner you have. I love men who go above and beyond making sure their partner and newborn (any age) children are fully supported and their needs come first and foremost. You my love from this behaviour have a twat of the highest order on your hands. He is selfish and has no respect for you or our newborn.Shocking behaviour, really it is.

No need for this nowadays. Men hopefully dont spend every night in the pub as was common practice years ago. It's not an acceptable norm as in the past.

Your baby has just entered the world why would he want to leave it and you for such a stupid reason? Hes not even in a pub nearby.
Its as if he needs to celebrate and take congratulations for having sex nine months ago.

Yes of course he's proud of your baby and wants to celebrate the arrival but how does that involve going out alone and getting so drunk he's not present for said baby. Really how?

Surely you celebrate together and not in a pissed up out on the town manner.
Or do both of you go out and get so drunk you are useless for the baby .
Obviously not so why should he?

Successful birth was not guaranteed in the past. I think perhaps there was congratulations in order for a safe addition to the family? For the mother and father. In different ways though. The woman was probably congratulated by her female friends and family whilst the towelling nappies were dealt with and constantly piling up. No washing machines.

The mother would have a hospital stay or a lying in period at home. Helped by other women who supported her. The women most likely looking after the new mother's other children and cooking cleaning etc. Men were provided with their dinner and clean clothes and house.
It would have been unusual for him to know or be expected to know how to cook. Exceptions existed.

The men were separate to all the mysteries of babies and a post partum woman. A couple of pints/ many pints purchased by his friends were appreciated by him as it saved him paying. Even a very drunken night/day was doing no harm to his wife because he wasn't expecting or expected to look after the baby or mother.

The days when women shrugged their shoulders and had no expectations from men are long gone.

Please OP remember and take note that we are living in our modern era and the roles are different now. This tradition has lost its meaning.
As mentioned by others it's an excuse for a right royal piss up. Don't accept it again. It's too late now he's gone.

What the fuck

I think she thought he'd taken the baby with him while he got pissed and was literally pouring beer on its head!

Have you misunderstood? the baby doesn’t go out with them, it’s just an excuse for men to go out and get pissed. Good lord at least I hope the baby’s not out with him!

Sounds like he cared more about going out and pissed rather than how you were coping with the baby.

Grim.

I’ve heard of wetting the baby’s head. But I think it’s a very outdated old fashion tradition that give men an excuse to get absolutely shit faced whilst the mother stays at home like a good old fashioned 1950s housewife. It reeks of misogyny. Can you imagine if a woman did this? If the relationship is otherwise fine I would organise a night out for yourself and do exactly what he’s done tonight.

Yep, this was a tradition 50 plus years ago. New Mum and baby would be in hospital for up to 10 days. New Dad would go out for a couple of drinks with family on both sides and good friends to celebrate the safe arrival.

It is now used as an excuse for some men to go out and get rat arsed.

Gah I can’t believe this is an excuse. Of course he had every confidence you’d be fine- you were a mum who just grew a baby and gave birth to it. Many men think women can look after their babies whether sick or well, exhausted or recovering from surgery, and do it 24/7. They don’t have to WORRY about them or support them or be there or take responsibility because new mothers aren’t real people. I’m sorry if you had one of those, but it’s not an excuse that it didn’t cross his mind to consider you.

Weird and dangerous? In what way

It really depends on your partner's background. It is a "thing". The people I know most likely to do it actually do it in the first couple of days so the fact it's been scheduled like this is a sign of assimilation in my eyes.

This tradition is dumb and just an excuse to get drunk.