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AIBU?

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Neighbour’s child throwing rubbish into our garden

189 replies

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:09

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

OP posts:
spanishcheese · 17/05/2025 17:05

Onelifeonly · 17/05/2025 14:45

Why be passive aggressive when a straight forward conversation might work? If they are unreasonable people, things could escalate.

OP has already had a straight forward conversation with these irksome people, and got precisely nowhere. The child's behaviour has gone unchecked by the parents.

Time for a different approach.

spanishcheese · 17/05/2025 17:03

tigerlady14 · 17/05/2025 15:03

YANBU for being annoyed with things being thrown into your garden, especially golf balls and I totally understand your concern for yourselves and your baby (congrats btw!) BUT YABU for the way you speak about these people. the condition of their garden, perceived cleanliness or lack of it, the fact they are renters, and him smoking is none of your business at all. unless you are concerned for the child’s welfare then all of this is not relevant at all and just makes it seem like you look down on these people. by all means tackle the issue of the throwing as that is not acceptable and there is some good advice on the thread on how to go about dealing with this, but your opinions on how they conduct their own personal business are unnecessary IMO. congrats again on becoming a mother and hope you can get this sorted so you can enjoy your garden with your LO <3

Its all useful information to build up a bigger picture /profile of the people living next door.

SalfordQuays · 17/05/2025 16:58

myplace · 17/05/2025 16:54

Put a net up, like a cat control net. That will stop the vast majority.

And don’t return stuff. Bag it, stick it by the door ready to return if it’s asked for.

Bin at intervals.

@myplace the problem is they sound like the kind of parents who won’t give a shit about missing toys anyway. The dad didn’t even know that the toys OP produced actually belonged to his child. Until the little girl starts throwing over his cigarettes and his lighter, he’s unlikely to care.

SalfordQuays · 17/05/2025 16:55

WilfredsPies · 17/05/2025 15:19

I think you’re approaching this the wrong way. You’re working on the basis that these people are nice, reasonable and caring parents who simply don’t realise what’s happening and that, once you explain it to them, they’ll take every step to ensure that their garden is tidy and that DD is taught not to do it again. I don’t think that they are. I think that they are shit parents who don’t care what their daughter is throwing or who she’s throwing it at. I’d respond in a way that they understand.

This.
Judging by the fact that no one appears to be watching this child, and the Dad didn’t seem to give a shit when you told him what was happening, I think it’s a waste of time trying to reason with them. I’d ask them one more time, then build a 6 foot fence. And report it to the landlord.

myplace · 17/05/2025 16:54

Put a net up, like a cat control net. That will stop the vast majority.

And don’t return stuff. Bag it, stick it by the door ready to return if it’s asked for.

Bin at intervals.

Nanny0gg · 17/05/2025 16:54

smellyhouseelf · 17/05/2025 14:58

Omg. Not renters! Time to sell up I'm afraid. Don't want your baby being brought up next to that riff raff.

Oh behave!

Nanny0gg · 17/05/2025 16:51

servingkant · 17/05/2025 14:20

Yea it’s still not relevant.

Yes it is, because if it continues they can contact the agent or landlord

Nanny0gg · 17/05/2025 16:50

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/05/2025 14:18

we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside

I give you less than 2 years…

Why? We never left garden toys out except unmoveable ones like sand pits

Hwi · 17/05/2025 16:43

Eccythumpy · 17/05/2025 14:12

Well YANBU to not want to have rubbish thrown in the garden, but I don't understand why you needed to specify that they are renters ?

Please don't be so unnecessarily PC - everybody knows the difference in the way owners (with a few exceptions) and renters treat their dwelling, never mind the garden!

ThatDaringEagle · 17/05/2025 16:36

Toys in their garden, or the state of it, is not really any of your business.

However, rubbish is, especially when some of it is making it's way into your garden.

Collect everything in a bag and you or your DH call around, and explicitly ask them to stop this happening again.

If it keeps happening, keep collecting the stuff, contact the landlord, ideally give him a bag of the stuff, and ask them to deal with it & get it stopped.

Otherwise, you've got a real problem here.

P.s. they being renters is relevant. Renters have landlords, who can be contacted, etc & also many renters are less house proud &/or neighbour conscious than owners IME. Also, he being seemingly spaced out on illicit drugs he was smoking is a big issue imho. Firstly, it seems to have affected his ability to supervise his child & stop her throwing multiple things into your property, but it's also something that you don't want next door and that you don't want your child inhaling/ingesting however innocuously. E.g. what happens if their kid throws their cannabis over the fence some day say!?! It's illegal, unsociable activity and you should bring it to the LL's attention imho.

suburburban · 17/05/2025 16:32

Eccythumpy · 17/05/2025 14:12

Well YANBU to not want to have rubbish thrown in the garden, but I don't understand why you needed to specify that they are renters ?

Perhaps because sometimes they may be more carefree as it isn’t their property. I know this isn’t always the case

Theunamedcat · 17/05/2025 16:29

Just contact their landlord

Theunamedcat · 17/05/2025 16:28

servingkant · 17/05/2025 14:20

Yea it’s still not relevant.

It is actually because now it's a landlord issue

YYYDlilah · 17/05/2025 16:24

Wipe the soft toys on the bird shit and then throw them back.

angstridden2 · 17/05/2025 16:12

I’m old and possibly have rose tinted recollections, but I do wonder if ,more shame and respect for others was a good thing. Judging by some of the posts on this thread anything less than wholehearted joy at others’ lack of consideration seems to be frowned upon.

Katbum · 17/05/2025 16:09

The state of their garden, what they keep out there, how hygenic or not you perceive their dd's toys to be are all irrelevant. It is their home, they are entitled to keep it in whatever state they wish to. However, it is unacceptable that this is encroaching on your own garden. My suggestion is that you go round and say that you would like them to make sure no more rubbish, toys or other items come into your garden. If they continue or escalate then you can speak to their landlord. I have lived next to extremely antisocial neighbours, and sometimes you have to suck it up. I'd try to get some perspective here - are we talking loads of items daily, or a few bits a couple of times a week. You clearly disapprove of your neighbour's lifestyle, but the fact is you don't get a say over who lives next door — if you want more refined neighbours the choice is to move to a more refined neighbourhood!

angstridden2 · 17/05/2025 16:09

We had the same issue from our neighbours who live in a HA flat. Their child of about 7 threw random stuff over including toys, a mixing bowl and cigarette lighters plus the usual footballs. There was a lot of shouting between him and mum and I imagine he is AHDH. I used to just take the rubbish and put it in a sack but told mum I would send back the balls as that is to be expected with children. However I did have a firm word when a garden chair appeared on my patio luckily my go or dog weren’t there. It seems to have stopped 🤞possibly due to the fact he is on medication according to his lucky upstairs neighbour! (And yes the HA detail is relevant as his co neighbour had complained about the shouting and swearing and mess in the communal garden).

OneFineDay13 · 17/05/2025 16:05

@servingkant neither is your comment tbh lol

Moonnstars · 17/05/2025 16:05

I would keep the items and then knock on their door to return the bits as this might seem more inconvenient to them and if you are doing it frequently they will realise how much is being thrown over.
You can try and find out who the landlord is and try and speak to them, but I am not sure this is a massive issue with what is happening so far. We had renters behind us who let the occasional football come over, but then I am sure we had a shoe along with vapes. They were also very noisy, loud music late into the night and bad language which was frustrating. When they left (may have been evicted) we then discovered the landlord actually lives on the road, so maybe they had witnessed how this family were behaving or had other complaints.

OneFineDay13 · 17/05/2025 16:05

Take care in your garden and anything that gets thrown over just bin.

GoodOldTrayBake · 17/05/2025 16:01

servingkant · 17/05/2025 14:20

Yea it’s still not relevant.

Yes it is relevant, as they could be breaching the terms of their lease (eg by storing rubbish in the garden or causing a nuisance to neighbours) and also OP could put in a complaint to the landlord. Don’t be so sensitive. The OP isn’t being classist. She’s just stating facts.

m00rfarm · 17/05/2025 15:59

ClearFruit · 17/05/2025 14:23

You lost me at 'renters'. Completely irrelevant.

Why is it irrelevant? The landlord is an extra person to talk to to try to get the situation resolved. They may do nothing, but simply stating that they are going to talk to the LL may focus the renting family a little more.

nomoretreats · 17/05/2025 15:56

servingkant · 17/05/2025 14:20

Yea it’s still not relevant.

Actually it is because in these circumstances I’d be looking for the letting agent / landlord if the situation got worse.

viques · 17/05/2025 15:55

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:28

Thanks for this. We had read that we can’t legally keep any items, but I did float the idea with DH that we could bag them all up over, say, a week and take them around in one go, using it is an opportunity to speak with them again.

Don’t keep the stuff, just put it in their bin for them.

Outrageistheopiateofthemasses · 17/05/2025 15:51

Under these circumstances, I would ask them to monitor her and stop the throwing. If that didn't work, anything she threw would just go in the bin. She will soon run out of things to chuck.