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AIBU?

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Neighbour’s child throwing rubbish into our garden

189 replies

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:09

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

OP posts:
Blueberry911 · 18/05/2025 05:43

CosyLemur · 17/05/2025 23:26

I give you 18 months! We've all been precious first time parents who say "my child will never" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Bring your child's toys in so they don't go mouldy, don't be a scruff 🤢

feelingbleh · 18/05/2025 00:04

Stop throwing it back they will eventually run out of stuff

ReturningDino · 17/05/2025 23:34

I'd not return things like golf balls. The rest of it I'd save up and give back once a week. Sounds like crap parenting! Can you add trellis and grow clematis etc to make it harder for balls to come over?

If they are renting then maybe they'll move on soon.

CosyLemur · 17/05/2025 23:26

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:22

Nope. It’s just simply not something that we would do. I appreciate items like the trampoline can’t be packed up of course, but I would worry about hygiene with toys being left out there all of the time. We have lots of nesting birds around at the moment in our trees at the bottom of the garden, so bird muck alone would be an issue.

I give you 18 months! We've all been precious first time parents who say "my child will never" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 23:01

Welshmonster · 17/05/2025 22:56

Look at cat proofing your garden then hopefully it won’t get over the fence. The kid must be really strong.

I would just stop throwing stuff back and deny you have it. I mean the Hoover hose!! Are you sure it’s not the parents

Well I suppose things like golf balls and tools aren’t particularly heavy, but they can’t half do some damage on the way back down when thrown up in the air and gravity gets a hold of them. And eek! I do hope not… I doubt it. The “junk” is interspersed with the more welcome garden visitors of teddy bears.

OP posts:
Welshmonster · 17/05/2025 22:56

Look at cat proofing your garden then hopefully it won’t get over the fence. The kid must be really strong.

I would just stop throwing stuff back and deny you have it. I mean the Hoover hose!! Are you sure it’s not the parents

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 22:49

Whyherewego · 17/05/2025 22:48

You can't keep them forever but you can gather them and keep them for a long while before you give them back or wait for them to ask.
The girl will soon learn nothing gets returned if she lobs it over

Thanks, this is a helpful suggestion.

OP posts:
Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 22:48

NixieDust · 17/05/2025 22:45

I'm surprised there's so many negative comments on this post!
I myself would be really frustrated by this. We had a neighbour who's kid would climb up on the fence and laugh at us and they'd throw things over when he had his mates round.
Luckily his Mum a decent person so I'd just go round and tell her and she'd apologise and have a word!
If talking to them hasn't helped I would do what others have said and go to LL/letting agent but I'd probably have another word, be firmer and then if nothing changes go to LL!

Oh bless her. Thank you! Yes, I think we’ll give it one last shot speaking to them. I really hate the thought of speaking to the LL; however, this has been going on for a few months now and doesn’t seem to be getting any better! If our LO was hit while crawling around the grass or doing wet play, for example, I’d be so upset with myself for not being firmer.

OP posts:
Whyherewego · 17/05/2025 22:48

You can't keep them forever but you can gather them and keep them for a long while before you give them back or wait for them to ask.
The girl will soon learn nothing gets returned if she lobs it over

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 22:46

Private1980 · 17/05/2025 22:41

Could you install a safety net over part of your garden at all and not nice if the dad is smoking weed we had a neighbour a few years ago smoked it in his garden and it does travel stinks hope you get sorted and congratulations x

It’s certainly an option we can look at! Though I wonder then if we’ll just end up with a with a lovely decorative ceiling to our garden, courtesy of little lady and made up of shoes, teddy bears, hoover parts, cardboard boxes, old tools, golf balls and bits of old prams. 😂 Thank you very much. ☺️

OP posts:
NixieDust · 17/05/2025 22:45

I'm surprised there's so many negative comments on this post!
I myself would be really frustrated by this. We had a neighbour who's kid would climb up on the fence and laugh at us and they'd throw things over when he had his mates round.
Luckily his Mum a decent person so I'd just go round and tell her and she'd apologise and have a word!
If talking to them hasn't helped I would do what others have said and go to LL/letting agent but I'd probably have another word, be firmer and then if nothing changes go to LL!

Private1980 · 17/05/2025 22:41

Could you install a safety net over part of your garden at all and not nice if the dad is smoking weed we had a neighbour a few years ago smoked it in his garden and it does travel stinks hope you get sorted and congratulations x

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 22:39

YinYangalang · 17/05/2025 22:29

If you also rent, move. If not prepare for the worst or sell up.

To be honest, we’re not looking to sell with a newborn baby when we’ve never had any issues with neighbours before (am I allowed to say we own this house or will I be crucified for apparently slighting renters, even though we’ve rented ourselves before plenty of times? Who knows). We’re very fond of where we live and importantly we’re in a good school catchment area for DD once she’s old enough. We’ve done work on the property and set up a home that we’re proud of for our new, little family. Hopefully we can either sort it with them (thanks to some of the very helpful advice here) or perhaps they’ll not stay too long themselves anyway.

OP posts:
YinYangalang · 17/05/2025 22:29

If you also rent, move. If not prepare for the worst or sell up.

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 22:20

Boromirsgreyhound · 17/05/2025 22:10

I think it is relevant that you commented they are renting. Other people here seem to be insinuating that you’re being snobbish. It IS relevant as you can raise issues with the landlord/letting agents.

Thanks! I’m honestly very baffled as to how people are so offended by me including a fact, particularly when I’ve not mentioned my own status at any point. I also had a PP suggest I’m snobbish for mentioning their garden was not particularly big (i.e. big enough to cope with all of the clutter), when clearly I live next door and so mine is obviously exactly the same size! Bizarre. Chips and shoulders spring to mind. I just didn’t want to drip feed in thread and I know people are usually asked the Q for the reasons you’ve stated there. I’ve stopped responding to these posters now because it’s just entirely unhelpful.

OP posts:
AlorsTimeForWine · 17/05/2025 22:16

Boromirsgreyhound · 17/05/2025 22:10

I think it is relevant that you commented they are renting. Other people here seem to be insinuating that you’re being snobbish. It IS relevant as you can raise issues with the landlord/letting agents.

Agreed.

It is relevant.
So is the fact they apparently want to live like animals and flytip in their own garden...

Boromirsgreyhound · 17/05/2025 22:10

I think it is relevant that you commented they are renting. Other people here seem to be insinuating that you’re being snobbish. It IS relevant as you can raise issues with the landlord/letting agents.

TunnocksOrDeath · 17/05/2025 20:25

ClearFruit · 17/05/2025 14:23

You lost me at 'renters'. Completely irrelevant.

It is relevant in as far as landlords can obtain a court order to evict a persistently antisocial tenant, but homeowners can't be removed on that basis.

Toootss · 17/05/2025 20:15

BUT YABU for the way you speak about these people. the condition of their garden, perceived cleanliness or lack of it, the fact they are renters, and him smoking is none of your business at all.

She has to live next door to them of course it’s her business

Balloonhearts · 17/05/2025 19:54

I keep a knife in my gardening box for stabbing any balls that come over from one neighbour. Boy of about 12. Told me to fuck off when I asked him to try and keep them contained in case they hit my baby who was just crawling around the grass. So now I puncture them in a few places and toss them back with a smile.

Strangely they've stopped coming over.

SapphireSeptember · 17/05/2025 19:51

tigerlady14 · 17/05/2025 15:03

YANBU for being annoyed with things being thrown into your garden, especially golf balls and I totally understand your concern for yourselves and your baby (congrats btw!) BUT YABU for the way you speak about these people. the condition of their garden, perceived cleanliness or lack of it, the fact they are renters, and him smoking is none of your business at all. unless you are concerned for the child’s welfare then all of this is not relevant at all and just makes it seem like you look down on these people. by all means tackle the issue of the throwing as that is not acceptable and there is some good advice on the thread on how to go about dealing with this, but your opinions on how they conduct their own personal business are unnecessary IMO. congrats again on becoming a mother and hope you can get this sorted so you can enjoy your garden with your LO <3

Yeah, I'm afraid I look down on people who smoke around kids, especially if they smoke weed. Funnily enough an OP got roasted on here a while ago for being baked while in charge of her child (his dad had him, but had to drop him home early, and she took pains to explain she didn't smoke it around her kid.)

I live in social housing, not everyone who rents treats their home with disdain. Although I remember being really angry when I walked past the flat I used to live in, to find the person who'd moved in had chucked the wardrobe and bedside table out onto the patio and they'd been ruined by the rain. They were brand new when I moved in and I was there for less than a year. Just made me very cross. 🥺

ButterCrackers · 17/05/2025 19:03

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 18:31

Thanks. Very similar situation!! The little girl was indeed there when I asked her and her dad to be more careful, but I’m not sure if she fully understood to be quite honest. She is a little younger and was there in just her nappy bless her.

We need a new trellis for our roses anyway as it happens, so going to look into the height we’re allowed! I know our actual fence is almost as high as you can go, but I don’t know if there are more lenient rules for trellis. Off to Google I go!

Trellis is easily broken. Sounds like your neighbours don’t care about your property.

notatinydancer · 17/05/2025 19:00

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:16

Well 1) to clarify that they are new and weren’t here when we moved in, in case anyone suggests we should have been more mindful of this when we ourselves moved into the house, and 2) in case there is any advice specific to the fact that they are renters, I suppose. I’m sure I would be asked down the line.

Irrelevant

BakelikeBertha · 17/05/2025 18:57

Agreed! - Sorry this was meant to have been attached to a quote, regarding the fact that we all judge people, regardless of our own background, and making it clear that keeping a load of old junk in your garden, which gives rats and other wild life, places to hide, should be called out as being unacceptable.

Ihopeyouhavent · 17/05/2025 18:41

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 18:31

Thanks. Very similar situation!! The little girl was indeed there when I asked her and her dad to be more careful, but I’m not sure if she fully understood to be quite honest. She is a little younger and was there in just her nappy bless her.

We need a new trellis for our roses anyway as it happens, so going to look into the height we’re allowed! I know our actual fence is almost as high as you can go, but I don’t know if there are more lenient rules for trellis. Off to Google I go!

You sound like a really lovely neighbour, even if she's little you can just say "oh no, please dont" . But then, im thinking that parents need to teach the kiddies not to.

Its a nightmare for everyone these days with kids.

But they are lucky to have someone as nice as you.