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Neighbour’s child throwing rubbish into our garden

189 replies

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:09

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

OP posts:
suburburban · 18/05/2025 11:43

amyds2104 · 18/05/2025 09:33

Yeah I feel like speaking to dad over the fence while he was smoking a joint doesn’t actually count as speaking to him to get the point across clearly. You need to make a point and knock on the front door and speak to them firmly. Do it when the child isn’t causing a nuisance rather than when she is and say what you are experiencing and you’ve mentioned it before but it’s now carrying on.

If it carries on then speak to landlord.

I will judge him for smoking a joint around that poor little girl. How unpleasant

Ophy83 · 18/05/2025 11:30

Given her parents seem very "relaxed" I'd be looking into ways of increasing the physical barrier to make it impossible for missiles to make it over - how high is your fence? Can you put up trellis/climbing flowers to make it higher? Look into agriframes, tuscan trees, a long trough planter with fast growing bamboo or willow (don't put this in a bed or it will take over)

vintagecrow · 18/05/2025 11:27

and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

I am sorry, but I am cringing for you. A polite laugh for good measure? Grow up, or at least grow a backbone for god’s sake. How measly can you be.

SudsySaturday · 18/05/2025 11:09

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 18/05/2025 10:56

We already tidy small play items away when our young niece comes to stay, because we don’t want them getting bird muck on them, or becoming mouldy etc. I don’t see why this would change with our own DC, but each to their own.

😂

Yes, having an occasionally visiting neice is exactly the same as having your own child there 24/7.

Good luck op.

bevelino · 18/05/2025 11:00

ClearFruit · 17/05/2025 14:23

You lost me at 'renters'. Completely irrelevant.

This

As is the nappy comment. Completely irrelevant.

Canonlythinkofthisone · 18/05/2025 10:58

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/05/2025 14:18

we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside

I give you less than 2 years…

Why? My dd is 3 next week and when we're done playing outside, stuff gets put away in her toy box or the garage for bigger stuff.... it is possible to not leave shit all over the garden

spanishcheese · 18/05/2025 10:57

Brefugee · 18/05/2025 10:34

then learn to stop talking about people who rent as though they are scum.

If you aren't brave enough to speak to neighbours properly, send your DH. If that doesn't work, try the council.

Honestly, you are old enough to have been really clever and actually buy a house. Now behave like an adult. You could even, if you catch the child in the act - gasp! - tell the child firmly to stop it.

Wow, you need to work on that massive shoulder chip

OP hasn't said anything about renters being 'scum' only you have suggested that.

Take a step back and consider that what you're really saying is projecting your own prejudices.

YYYDlilah · 18/05/2025 10:57

@Itsybitsyteenycleany , don't forget to remind your scummy dear friends that Renting Is Money Down The Drain, And That They Are Paying Someone Else's Mortgage.
If you are home-owners, refer to your house as Foot On The Property Ladder throughout. Wink

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 18/05/2025 10:56

Mh67 · 18/05/2025 10:53

Made me laugh no idea of what's to come 😂😂

We already tidy small play items away when our young niece comes to stay, because we don’t want them getting bird muck on them, or becoming mouldy etc. I don’t see why this would change with our own DC, but each to their own.

OP posts:
Mh67 · 18/05/2025 10:53

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/05/2025 14:18

we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside

I give you less than 2 years…

Made me laugh no idea of what's to come 😂😂

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 18/05/2025 10:50

Brefugee · 18/05/2025 10:34

then learn to stop talking about people who rent as though they are scum.

If you aren't brave enough to speak to neighbours properly, send your DH. If that doesn't work, try the council.

Honestly, you are old enough to have been really clever and actually buy a house. Now behave like an adult. You could even, if you catch the child in the act - gasp! - tell the child firmly to stop it.

I’m sorry but I fear you may be projecting. We’ve really not done that at all.

As I’ve outlined, I have spoken to the dad (and daughter, who was there after “catching her in the act”) before, but YES, we (one or both of us - I don’t necessarily need to “send DH” on my behalf) will be speaking to them again more firmly and taking all items that pop over during the course of the next few days around in a black bag. I wasn’t going to go all gung-ho in tone when speaking to the dad the first time as firstly I didn’t feel it necessary to make my initial point and secondly at that time I hadn’t spoken to him before so didn’t know how he would react.

The girl is just a little tot. She doesn’t really understand and I’m certainly not going to start telling her off over the wall. She’s very sweet and often plays with our dog through the front window while he is in our window. As I say, if the garden was not host to numerous waste items, then she wouldn’t be able to get her hands on inappropriate items, like old golf balls, to throw. This is our main issue.

If it makes you feel any better, I would be just as unhappy with neighbours who owned hoarding items in this way. Their homeowner/renter status is only relevant in a sense that it provides different opportunities for escalation - which, as I say, I’d really like to avoid anyway, but still very relevant. I didn’t want to drip feed this info.

Anyway, we’re off to see some very dear renter friends of ours now. That’s if we can stand to be in the same vicinity as them because we’re such awful judgemental people who have, of course, home-owned since we left the womb! Have a lovely day.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 18/05/2025 10:34

then learn to stop talking about people who rent as though they are scum.

If you aren't brave enough to speak to neighbours properly, send your DH. If that doesn't work, try the council.

Honestly, you are old enough to have been really clever and actually buy a house. Now behave like an adult. You could even, if you catch the child in the act - gasp! - tell the child firmly to stop it.

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 18/05/2025 10:32

Brefugee · 18/05/2025 10:23

JFC people. I know mumsnetters are allergic to speaking to their neighbours about things like this, and doubly allergic to renters.

Grow up. Speak to the neighbours. That is all.

I explained in my OP that we have spoken to them
before, but yes we’ll definitely be speaking to them again, more firmly this time.

No one is “allergic” to renters (?) We’ve rented ourselves plenty of times before and we were good friends with the previous neighbours. I’ve never compared our situations in my post either. Still, speaking to LL is very much a last resort as it does create hassle for everyone involved and that’s not what we want. We just want for rubbish and hard items to stop being sent over for the various reasons I’ve outlined.

OP posts:
YYYDlilah · 18/05/2025 10:30

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 17:51

Huh? I have no idea what this fictitious soliloquy has to do with me not wanting to live next door to large/hard items of household waste which are then being flung into our garden almost daily. Surely it is not exactly the height of perfectionism to expect that waste is disposed of properly and reasonably promptly? I really don’t blame or resent the little girl at all.

Edited

@Brefugee , OP might be renting herself, so your posts seem tone deaf.

@Itsybitsyteenycleany , it was in response to a typo on a previous post. It wasn't directed at you specifically.

Brefugee · 18/05/2025 10:23

CarlaH · 17/05/2025 14:31

There is relevance to them renting. A landlord can be contacted who might be able to change their behaviours. If they own and don't care the buck stops with them.

JFC people. I know mumsnetters are allergic to speaking to their neighbours about things like this, and doubly allergic to renters.

Grow up. Speak to the neighbours. That is all.

Brefugee · 18/05/2025 10:01

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:16

Well 1) to clarify that they are new and weren’t here when we moved in, in case anyone suggests we should have been more mindful of this when we ourselves moved into the house, and 2) in case there is any advice specific to the fact that they are renters, I suppose. I’m sure I would be asked down the line.

ohhh horrible renters.
Get on to their landlord and get them chucked out and made homeless.

Or, grow up and tell the parents to put a stop to it.

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 18/05/2025 09:59

1SillySossij · 18/05/2025 09:43

People always say 'tell the landlord', but why would the landlord care and if they did is surely much more likely to take the side of the people paying him than you.

Well, for a start there are plenty of female landlords. 😉 Secondly, the LLs that have popped up here have said they wouldn’t be too happy with renters hoarding waste on their property and a few people have mentioned this is likely against the terms and conditions of tenancy. That said, I am going to speak to the LL as a very last resort because I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone - the renters or the LL. We’ll be speaking to NDNs again more firmly first, but I can’t imagine many LLs being completely unbothered - particularly as we’ve never had an issue with any of their other tenants (all very pleasant) and so it’s not like we contact them to moan every other day. I imagine they have an obligation to address complaints about tenants.

OP posts:
1SillySossij · 18/05/2025 09:43

spanishcheese · 17/05/2025 14:26

If they're renting let the landlord know they're being a nuisance.

Don't say 'sorry' to them when their stuff comes over the fence.

Don't return their stuff, put their stuff that ends up in your garden in the bin, use their bin if you can access it easily.

People always say 'tell the landlord', but why would the landlord care and if they did is surely much more likely to take the side of the people paying him than you.

amyds2104 · 18/05/2025 09:33

Yeah I feel like speaking to dad over the fence while he was smoking a joint doesn’t actually count as speaking to him to get the point across clearly. You need to make a point and knock on the front door and speak to them firmly. Do it when the child isn’t causing a nuisance rather than when she is and say what you are experiencing and you’ve mentioned it before but it’s now carrying on.

If it carries on then speak to landlord.

hididdlyho · 18/05/2025 09:11

I'd stop returning their stuff and bin anything which is uncollected after a week. Our neighbours are similar and their lad, who was about 8 at the time, was forever throwing random stuff over the 6ft fence into our garden (space hoppers, scooters, manky half chewed food). Parents also didn't say sorry to bother you and ask kid to be more careful in future, so it got annoying after a while.

One day, he came round with his Dad to get his football back and we presented them with a box of random stuff that had been flung over that week. I got a stick and lifted up a manky pair of holey boxers and told the Dad 'I think these are yours as well'. That seemed to do the trick and we're back to the occasional football which I just toss back.

Createausername1970 · 18/05/2025 08:27

It is relevant that they are renters. Ignore the terminally offended, I believe it's a side effect of altitude sickness caused from constantly sitting on very high horses.

In addition to all the very good advice you have received, I would also take a photo of everything that comes over. If you do end up logging a complaint with LL or local council, then it will help

Emmz1510 · 18/05/2025 08:07

It might have more impact if you collected up the items for a few days. If it’s something the child wants back, the parents will have to have to come round for it. That might make them think twice about letting her do it because it’s embarrassing. Or, they won’t come round, and you or DH can take the stuff round and say ‘this is all the stuff your daughter has thrown into our garden over the past week. We need this to stop now please or we will be reporting to your landlord’. Take a photo of the items first.

cha04 · 18/05/2025 08:01

What a stupid comment! Of course it’s relevant!! Id they owned the house they’d have a lot less say, being renters they can contact the landlord to speak with them and if they keep being a nuisance they’ll be in breech of their tenancy. You’ve obviously got a chip on your shoulder about being a renter yourself maybe. In this case it’s totally relevant.

Emmz1510 · 18/05/2025 08:01

ClearFruit · 17/05/2025 14:23

You lost me at 'renters'. Completely irrelevant.

It’s not irrelevant, as the OP has explained.

Emmz1510 · 18/05/2025 08:00

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/05/2025 14:18

we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside

I give you less than 2 years…

So you think this is something all children just do? My daughter is 10 and has never behaved like this. Because I’m bringing her up properly. You know….boundaries?