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Neighbour’s child throwing rubbish into our garden

189 replies

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:09

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Member984815 · 20/05/2025 14:24

Please update when baby arrives , sending best wishes for a safe and easy delivery 🌼 🌸

YYYDlilah · 20/05/2025 13:22

Very best wishes, @Itsybitsyteenycleany .

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 20/05/2025 12:28

Hopingtobeaparent · 20/05/2025 09:53

👍🏻

And for those who got on their high horse about presuming the OP is anti-renters, this is why it can help to clarify the details in the picture.

OP, all the best with your own new baby!! I hope it goes as well as it can!

Thank you very much! Based on plans, it looks like baby girl will be here with us next week. Thank you everyone for your help and advice.

OP posts:
DiabeticChocolateLover · 20/05/2025 10:32

Landlord/property agent was my first thought.

Hopingtobeaparent · 20/05/2025 09:53

Donsyb · 19/05/2025 11:40

I’m a landlord and if we get complaints about tenants (which we have) then we get the agent to sort it. I’d speak to the agent asap.

👍🏻

And for those who got on their high horse about presuming the OP is anti-renters, this is why it can help to clarify the details in the picture.

OP, all the best with your own new baby!! I hope it goes as well as it can!

Donsyb · 19/05/2025 11:40

I’m a landlord and if we get complaints about tenants (which we have) then we get the agent to sort it. I’d speak to the agent asap.

LilacReader · 19/05/2025 11:30

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 15:03

I haven’t once actually clarified whether we own or rent ourselves? I’ve explained in a comment up top why I believe this to be relevant (in an attempt to avoid drip feed), and it’s definitely not for any deprecating reason, so I won’t be entertaining any further suggestions that it is. Totally daft.

Ignore future posts about renters OP - some just want to have a go for no reason than to have a go. I expect it from this post but not in slightest bit bothered. You have previously mentioned you rented once and took it to mean you may be this time. I wouldn't even bother replying to them in future.
As a few have mentioned already, keep the toys in a bag out back just in case they ask for them back but return all rubbish. Good luck with the baby and I really hope you have it sorted by the time he/she arrives x

Barbarahasescaped · 19/05/2025 09:24

It’s more effective to speak to them at the door not just over the fence. Go round with a couple of the items, ring the bell, say these nearly hit you, ask them directly to stop throwing things over the fence, don’t need to mention their child.

If that doesn’t work you could contact their landlord and/ or put up some sort of netting as a last resort.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/285981325930?chn=ps&_ul=GB&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=710-166974-033325-9&mkcid=2&mkscid=101&itemid=285981325930&targetid=2274951440814&device=t&mktype=pla&googleloc=9046547&poi=&campaignid=21178334576&mkgroupid=165294125023&rlsatarget=pla-2274951440814&abcId=9404410&merchantid=115584450&geoid=9046547&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21178334576&gbraid=0AAAAAD_Lr1fnkcp-PvziCUrVTCjuagfmB&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7KqwuI2vjQMVOZFQBh1pIh41EAQYAyABEgJ69PD_BwE

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This cat fencing system features unique overhang brackets that prevent cats from climbing over. Heavy-Duty & Low Maintenance Cat Proofing Fence Security. Cat - Proof Garden Fence Barrier & Enclosure - Secure Outdoor Cat Fence Kit.

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Greenartywitch · 19/05/2025 09:10

I would try to have a conversation with them and then if nothing improves contact the estate agent/landlord about the tenants causing a nuisance.

ballroomblue · 19/05/2025 08:43

She's 5 but wears a nappy?

Hopingtobeaparent · 19/05/2025 07:46

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:28

Thanks for this. We had read that we can’t legally keep any items, but I did float the idea with DH that we could bag them all up over, say, a week and take them around in one go, using it is an opportunity to speak with them again.

Seems a good idea. They do seem to hold a very different mindset and parenting style though, so don’t get too stressed if it makes no difference.

Obviously, you’ll get a glimpse into their home if you do this, do speak to SS if yo have genuine neglect concerns. If the child is older and still in nappies, yes, this could be SEN but could also be caused by neglect.

Ref. Keeping the stuff - I believe that once it’s entered your property, the bit about the legality of keeping their toys probably becomes debunked, or at least, very grey! If they have that much stuff they probably wouldn’t notice, or by the sounds of it, care.

And please don’t get too anxious about germs/bacteria from the garden either, it does their gut health wonders and is good for them to not become too germ phobic either. You’ll find your balance.

DoggingDave · 19/05/2025 06:50

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:09

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

These balls came over and nobody shouted FORE completely out of order.

CommonAsMucklowe · 18/05/2025 22:30

Throw everything away that comes over. And if they ask for anything back you haven't seen it.

tinyspiny · 18/05/2025 20:32

I don’t know why people think the OP is strange for saying she intends to keep her garden toys inside , we have had 2 children , with the usual array of garden toys etc and the only things ever left outside have been the trampoline , swing / slide set , basketball hoop etc . The sand pit had a lid put on every night and everything else was tidied into the garage or shed , it’s really not that difficult to keep things tidy .

28Fluctuations · 18/05/2025 20:18

You have the right plan - tell them clearly what's happening and give them a chance to stop it. Complain loudly and immediately the very next time anything is thrown - shout loudly over that fence.

Next stop, complain to the landlords via the estate agents. Yes, many landlords absolutely will do something about it.

OhcantthInkofaname · 18/05/2025 20:06

Complain to their landlord or rental agency.

Pianoaholic · 18/05/2025 19:51

It's possible there are rats.
I walk past a house on my way to the shop. It used to have junk etc all over the front lawn and up against the neighbour's wall. It was even worse than what you describe @Itsybitsyteenycleany .
One day I walked past and noticed it had all been cleared but there was a pest control van parked there.
I think it's irrelevant for people to imagine what OP will/won't be like as a parent and whether outside toys will be tidied up.
The point is how her neighbours mess is affecting her right now...I would go mad at them, personally.

Single50something · 18/05/2025 19:22

ClearFruit · 17/05/2025 14:23

You lost me at 'renters'. Completely irrelevant.

I rent and when my sister was buying a house she kept saying it needed a lot work doing ...as it had rented out before!
On and on they went about renters...

80smonster · 18/05/2025 18:56

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:09

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

Report them to the council and landlord, say that you’ve seen rats on their property, scurrying about in the rubbish dump they’ve created, and you are concerned you’ll get them too.

BreatheAndFocus · 18/05/2025 18:47

No, I don’t think they can “live like pigs”, can they? If they have black bags of rubbish in their garden, then I bet they have rats too. The local council will want to hear about that.

There are two issues here - the throwing and the state of the garden, which is encouraging the throwing and seems to be being used as a rubbish dump. For the throwing, speak to the parents, but I’d also contact the council and report the rubbish. It doesn’t sound safe for the child, for a start.

Laura95167 · 18/05/2025 18:42

I think you need to stay polite but be firmer. That the child is throwing multiple things at you in your garden and can they please address it as if she hit you or caused you to fall you're worried about baby.

The toys and rubbish you'll have to make your peace with because they can live like pigs if they want to in their garden

Khayker · 18/05/2025 18:19

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:39

Thank you! It’s awful isn’t it. I don’t like any sort of perceived confrontation. See, I was quite shocked that the Dad didn’t react more strongly upon finding that his child had been throwing golf balls over in the first place; however, I know there’s a chance he could have just done it once back in the house. I do think we’re less concerned about their parenting style (each unto their own) and more concerned about the rubbish/state of garden as I believe this is the enabler here.

Edited

Don't go down the tit for tat route or the police may become involved. Find out who the landlord is. Write to whoever it is stating clearly what's happening. Try to do it through email if possible but if you need to send it snail mail, get a signature. If its a housing association, you can speak to them as they should have officers and policies to deal with anti-social behaviour of tenants (yes it is ASB, not just the actions of the child but also her parents, nothing will happen to the child but parents will have a tennancy agreement setting out standards of behaviour for everyone occupying the house). The rubbish if inflammable is a fire hazard and any food wrappers, disgarded food etc, will attract vermin at some point. Keep a record of every thing happening with pictures if necessary but don't give the lanlord too long to act. If nothing is done, contact the Community Safety/ASB reduction team in your local authority. They have the power to act and includes forcing evictions, closing premises and at a lower level, holding landlords to account. What you mustn't do is resort to threats and don't permanently keep anything that comes over but do record it. Best of luck.

brettsalanger · 18/05/2025 18:18

Please check back on in 3 years time to let us know how your sensory play and nature spotting is going.

Glasgowgal200 · 18/05/2025 18:08

Also local council, police if father is smoking drugs in front of daughter, put up a higher fence

Glasgowgal200 · 18/05/2025 18:06

Talk to your landlord, document anything