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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's unacceptable to say you don't like children?

584 replies

BirdPlanet · 17/05/2025 09:23

Increasingly I've heard people saying some variation of the statement 'I don't like children'. I don't see why this is in any way acceptable. You wouldn't say that you 'don't like' any other category of person. If I said I didn't like the elderly or middle-aged women as a group, I'd get slapped down, yet somehow people think it's okay to talk about children as if they aren't human beings. Is it because they can't speak or advocate for themselves? Children aren't some kind of homogeneous entity. They have personalities and different temperaments, just as adults do.

Inevitably people will say that it's used as a shorthand for disliking the behaviour of some children, but even so, that’s more of a reflection of poor parenting than anything else.

OP posts:
Ontothenextac · 19/05/2025 15:08

Blessthismess2 · 19/05/2025 12:15

Really? children have always been othered and dehumanised in one way or another.

Have they?

I have 3 and not something i have encountered

Vivi0 · 19/05/2025 13:45

Verv · 19/05/2025 13:27

I think its fine to not like children and to say so.
No different to not liking cats or religion.

No different to not liking cats or religion.

No - it is different, because children are not animals or ideologies.

It would be similar to saying that you don’t like women, elderly people or any other group of people you can think of.

Verv · 19/05/2025 13:27

I think its fine to not like children and to say so.
No different to not liking cats or religion.

sammylady37 · 19/05/2025 13:24

Shwish · 19/05/2025 13:21

I mean this is getting boring now. You can have your opinion and I'll have mine. I standby the view that children are more vulnerable than adults, yes even those in the groups you've mentioned. And I explained why. But either way, if you dislike an entire group of humans (kids in this instance) then we'll clearly not be seeing eye to eye. But I can't be bothered to engage any further.

I never said whether or not I liked or disliked children as a group. I merely spoke about the oft-used ‘most vulnerable in society’ phrase.

But in my opinion, people who retort with “this is getting boring now” and “I can’t be bothered to engage any further” are actually saying they can’t defend their point against the rebuttals made. Just my opinion, of course.

Shwish · 19/05/2025 13:21

I mean this is getting boring now. You can have your opinion and I'll have mine. I standby the view that children are more vulnerable than adults, yes even those in the groups you've mentioned. And I explained why. But either way, if you dislike an entire group of humans (kids in this instance) then we'll clearly not be seeing eye to eye. But I can't be bothered to engage any further.

sammylady37 · 19/05/2025 13:13

Shwish · 19/05/2025 10:17

I mean this is obvious absolute bollocks. Every single one of those groups of adults you mentioned (although undoubtedly vulnerable) have more rights than kids. They can vote, they have access to money, if they can't work then benefits.
And the comment about kids having at least one parent strongly advocating for them is the most ridiculous of all. Of course most kids do. But what about the ones who don't?

How many people with advanced dementia or profound intellectual disability do you think exercise their right to vote or access their own money?

Shwish · 19/05/2025 13:13

ArtTheClown · 19/05/2025 13:11

Well if it's not children please explain who it is?

I'd personally think that elderly people with demential are or similar are far more vulnerable, and they're valued much less by society.

Ok but it's not considered acceptable to go around saying you don't like demented people is it?

ArtTheClown · 19/05/2025 13:11

Well if it's not children please explain who it is?

I'd personally think that elderly people with demential are or similar are far more vulnerable, and they're valued much less by society.

Vivi0 · 19/05/2025 12:54

sammylady37 · 19/05/2025 08:32

The phrase ‘the most vulnerable in society’ has been used to describe so many groups of people at this stage that it’s become almost meaningless, IMO.

But children are one of the most vulnerable groups of people in society. They are acknowledged as such.

What a strange thing for you to push back on.

MushMonster · 19/05/2025 12:33

MyUmberSeal · 19/05/2025 09:11

Disabled and Indian people don’t besiege the local shop before and after school, nicking sweets and fizzy pop en masse. 🤣

Nobody approves of this behaviour. it is wrong and must be sorted involving police, school and parents.

But.. this is disapproving of a behaviour/ crime.
Rather different of disliking children!
Most children do not do this.
Or am I ok to say I do not like grown ups because some do steal?
Well... NO
It is flipping ridiculous. That is what it is.
There is a huge difference between not wanting to have children and not liking children.
A huge difference between finding noisy play areas hard to cope with and not liking children.
And so on and on....
You either see it, or not.
Two kind of very different people. With very little in common.

Blessthismess2 · 19/05/2025 12:15

Rumbley · 19/05/2025 08:04

I have children

Can’t say I’ve noticed this “trend” you see or even anything remotely akin to it

Really? children have always been othered and dehumanised in one way or another.

LizzieW1969 · 19/05/2025 11:25

Shwish · 19/05/2025 10:17

I mean this is obvious absolute bollocks. Every single one of those groups of adults you mentioned (although undoubtedly vulnerable) have more rights than kids. They can vote, they have access to money, if they can't work then benefits.
And the comment about kids having at least one parent strongly advocating for them is the most ridiculous of all. Of course most kids do. But what about the ones who don't?

I agree with you about kids without parents to advocate for them. There are kids with parents who love them but have no idea how to be a parent. Sadly, there are also those who have parents who actively harm them (like I did).

However, the PP was right in saying that there are also very vulnerable adults who are at serious risk of harm.

It isn’t a competition.

Shwish · 19/05/2025 10:17

sammylady37 · 19/05/2025 10:03

Elderly, demented people?
People with severe and enduring mental illness whose needs are being ignored in the rush to pathologise every emotion?
Intellectually disabled people?
Those who grow up in the care system and are left to their own devices once they turn a certain age?
(not an exhaustive list)

Most children have at least one parent strongly advocating for them, pushing to endure their every need (and often want) is met. Lots of the above people have no such advocate.

I mean this is obvious absolute bollocks. Every single one of those groups of adults you mentioned (although undoubtedly vulnerable) have more rights than kids. They can vote, they have access to money, if they can't work then benefits.
And the comment about kids having at least one parent strongly advocating for them is the most ridiculous of all. Of course most kids do. But what about the ones who don't?

Spooky2000 · 19/05/2025 10:11

dijonketchup · 17/05/2025 09:28

Agreed, and posted a variation of this on another thread recently. People without children seem to forget that they are just small people? No one ever says “pregnant women, they drive me mad” or similar in public about humans in a different life stage. FFS, you were a child yourself.

Not true, actually. The amount of slagging off menopausal women get is unreal.

sammylady37 · 19/05/2025 10:03

Shwish · 19/05/2025 09:01

Well if it's not children please explain who it is? They don't have access to their own money, are not able to vote, cannot even take care of their own needs. They are smaller and weaker than the rest of the population. Id say you'd be hard pressed to find another group more vulnerable than children.

Elderly, demented people?
People with severe and enduring mental illness whose needs are being ignored in the rush to pathologise every emotion?
Intellectually disabled people?
Those who grow up in the care system and are left to their own devices once they turn a certain age?
(not an exhaustive list)

Most children have at least one parent strongly advocating for them, pushing to endure their every need (and often want) is met. Lots of the above people have no such advocate.

UsernameMcUsername · 19/05/2025 09:45

PixieTales · 18/05/2025 20:38

It’s not weird to not be keen on children - in general they are loud, annoying, uninteresting and completely change the dynamic of social settings.

This is why many people opt for child free weddings/holidays. Plenty of parents even admit to not liking other people’s children.

It doesn’t mean people are treating children badly, it’s just an opinion that everyone is entitled to.

But many many adults are as dull as ditchwater though, whereas children can be really good company - joyful, chatty, funny, entertaining. Older children / teens can be much more interesting to talk to than the average adult. Give me a few bright chatty teens over a group of adults droning on about kitchen remodelling / bin collections / who said what to who at work any day. I have a teen & a preteen and genuinely enjoy their company, and actually the company of a lot of their friends (especially the teen's).

Shwish · 19/05/2025 09:39

No of course they shouldn't put up with it. But groups of travellers have been known to use the same tactics round my way. Can you imagine a sign saying only to travellers allowed? No, because that would (rightly) be discrimination.

UsernameMcUsername · 19/05/2025 09:38

The ppl here fighting boldly for the right to dislike children are incredibly defensive. It's quite funny actually.

KimberleyClark · 19/05/2025 09:37

MyUmberSeal · 19/05/2025 09:11

Disabled and Indian people don’t besiege the local shop before and after school, nicking sweets and fizzy pop en masse. 🤣

Nicking sweets and fizzy drinks from the local shop is just kids being kids and shopkeepers should just put up with it apparently.

YearlySubscriptionRenewal · 19/05/2025 09:29

Shwish · 19/05/2025 09:03

Also they're apparently the only group its ok to openly admit you don't like. Try putting a sign in a shop window saying "only 1 disabled / gay / Indian person at a time" and see where that gets you.

do you realise how ridiculous you sound?

MyUmberSeal · 19/05/2025 09:11

Shwish · 19/05/2025 09:03

Also they're apparently the only group its ok to openly admit you don't like. Try putting a sign in a shop window saying "only 1 disabled / gay / Indian person at a time" and see where that gets you.

Disabled and Indian people don’t besiege the local shop before and after school, nicking sweets and fizzy pop en masse. 🤣

Shwish · 19/05/2025 09:03

Also they're apparently the only group its ok to openly admit you don't like. Try putting a sign in a shop window saying "only 1 disabled / gay / Indian person at a time" and see where that gets you.

Shwish · 19/05/2025 09:01

sammylady37 · 19/05/2025 08:32

The phrase ‘the most vulnerable in society’ has been used to describe so many groups of people at this stage that it’s become almost meaningless, IMO.

Well if it's not children please explain who it is? They don't have access to their own money, are not able to vote, cannot even take care of their own needs. They are smaller and weaker than the rest of the population. Id say you'd be hard pressed to find another group more vulnerable than children.

sammylady37 · 19/05/2025 08:32

The phrase ‘the most vulnerable in society’ has been used to describe so many groups of people at this stage that it’s become almost meaningless, IMO.

Rumbley · 19/05/2025 08:04

Abbyant · 18/05/2025 23:05

Thank you! I’m glad I’m not alone in noticing this trend lately of dehumanising children. If we said we didn’t like any other group of people we’d be cast out but it’s become acceptable to hate the most innocent and vulnerable in society.

I have children

Can’t say I’ve noticed this “trend” you see or even anything remotely akin to it

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