Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School's punishment of all boys in year 6

605 replies

htdt · 16/05/2025 17:28

My son is in Year 6 and has done SATS this week, today was meant to be a fun day for them as they've finished all the papers.

But my son came back from school really upset as the teachers had separated the girls and boys and he says the girls got to do fun activities and given treats but the boys got told off and given a lesson on respect.

He's taken this badly and has said things like 'I must be bad because I'm a boy'.

It's such a shame because he's worked really hard and was otherwise enjoying SATS week, but now feels horrible about himself, the teachers who told them off and the girls getting rewarded when all the boys were punished.

I feel like I need to speak to the school next week and find out what's gone on and why. I also feel like making a complaint. But I'm not sure what they are going to do to make things better even if they did agree with me that it was not a great way to deal with some boy's bad behaviour and also very bad timing so should I just forget about it...?

OP posts:
Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:02

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:01

Oh do give over, you’d really know nothing of being truly fucked over.

Show quote history

What? That makes no sense. Try again.

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:02

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:58

I’m still fine with it. In fact this further suggests a serious issue with the way the girls are being treated. A very harsh lesson in sexism is fine.

Girls don’t need that lesson.

Show quote history

Neither do my sons.

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:01

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:58

Which is pretty much the existence of being a girl.

Show quote history

Oh do give over, you’d really know nothing of being truly fucked over.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:00

FlowerWrath · 17/05/2025 07:45

What do you think should be done then? Should all 100 boys in the year patrol the playground for sexism??
Why should a boy, who possibly would have called out blatant sexism, be in trouble for an event that likely happened the other side of the playground??

Show quote history

This will be more than a one off event. As I’ve said this is a serious response and I would be getting context before I did anything. But in principle a lesson on exclusion based on sex for boys, that is unfair (it likely isn’t), maybe it should be a formal part of the curriculum.

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:00

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:08

That is incorrect. Girls and boys do not have the same responsibility to call out sexism. You’re victim blaming. That literally was your point. Your argument ignores that sexism is against women. The sex that has been and continues to be disadvantaged. The discussion with this boy is:

are the girls being excluded or disadvantaged because their girls?
and if yes what YOU done about that?

if the answer is I didn’t do it then this is a lesson. Now he knows how it feels to miss out for something because of group exclusion. They all do. And perhaps next time he will call it out.

Show quote history

Ok well I’d like to call out the many many girls that have mocked , excluded, disadvantaged and bullied my ND daughter and all the girl bystanders who did nothing. Really there should have been collective punishments aplenty. I should think there are many parents of the bullied and kids with SEN that could suggest collective punishment.

Sharptonguedwoman · 17/05/2025 07:59

Damnloginpopup · 17/05/2025 07:56

Maybe an autocorrect of declare.

Show quote history

Wondered.

Megifer · 17/05/2025 07:59

Lazy teachers love a bit of collective punishment rather than having to do work to sort the issue out.

Take him out of school for the day soon and do something nice with him as his treat.

FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 07:59

I'm also intrigued to note that posters are happy for boys to not only put themselves at risk but also get themselves in to trouble for this.

because I can pretty much guarantee that the school will give out punishments for policing other pupils actions and causing fights on the school playground.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:58

FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 07:55

More likely he will think 'whats the point, I'm just going to get fucked over again.'

This doesn't teach anybody anything other than somebody is going to screw you over whatever you do.

Show quote history

Which is pretty much the existence of being a girl.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:58

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 07:55

The op.

Show quote history

I’m still fine with it. In fact this further suggests a serious issue with the way the girls are being treated. A very harsh lesson in sexism is fine.

Girls don’t need that lesson.

Damnloginpopup · 17/05/2025 07:56

Sharptonguedwoman · 17/05/2025 07:55

Pardon? How do you debate war on the teachers?

Show quote history

Maybe an autocorrect of declare.

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 07:55

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:55

Who said there are 100 boys in the year group?

Show quote history

The op.

FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 07:55

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:08

That is incorrect. Girls and boys do not have the same responsibility to call out sexism. You’re victim blaming. That literally was your point. Your argument ignores that sexism is against women. The sex that has been and continues to be disadvantaged. The discussion with this boy is:

are the girls being excluded or disadvantaged because their girls?
and if yes what YOU done about that?

if the answer is I didn’t do it then this is a lesson. Now he knows how it feels to miss out for something because of group exclusion. They all do. And perhaps next time he will call it out.

Show quote history

More likely he will think 'whats the point, I'm just going to get fucked over again.'

This doesn't teach anybody anything other than somebody is going to screw you over whatever you do.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:55

FlowerWrath · 17/05/2025 07:45

What do you think should be done then? Should all 100 boys in the year patrol the playground for sexism??
Why should a boy, who possibly would have called out blatant sexism, be in trouble for an event that likely happened the other side of the playground??

Show quote history

Who said there are 100 boys in the year group?

Sharptonguedwoman · 17/05/2025 07:55

TreadLight · 16/05/2025 17:39

Collective punishment is banned under the fourth Geneva convention. The boys should have formally debated war on the teachers and then non of this would have happened.

Pardon? How do you debate war on the teachers?

Damnloginpopup · 17/05/2025 07:52

TreadLight · 16/05/2025 17:39

Collective punishment is banned under the fourth Geneva convention. The boys should have formally debated war on the teachers and then non of this would have happened.

Yep. Absolutely correct. Collective punishment is not allowed. I'd be going to the UN and the Hague with this.

FlowerWrath · 17/05/2025 07:45

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:08

That is incorrect. Girls and boys do not have the same responsibility to call out sexism. You’re victim blaming. That literally was your point. Your argument ignores that sexism is against women. The sex that has been and continues to be disadvantaged. The discussion with this boy is:

are the girls being excluded or disadvantaged because their girls?
and if yes what YOU done about that?

if the answer is I didn’t do it then this is a lesson. Now he knows how it feels to miss out for something because of group exclusion. They all do. And perhaps next time he will call it out.

Show quote history

What do you think should be done then? Should all 100 boys in the year patrol the playground for sexism??
Why should a boy, who possibly would have called out blatant sexism, be in trouble for an event that likely happened the other side of the playground??

blueluce85 · 17/05/2025 07:11

I don't think you do need to be diplomatic! My daughter's school did collective punishment and we (a lot of parents) brought it up as an issue and the teacher was rightfully corrected from that form of punishment

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:08

DrPrunesqualer · 16/05/2025 22:21

You’re modus operandi is discrimination
You cannot collectively punish one group.

Punishment is for the guilty only

Show quote history

It’s a consequence. And you can.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:08

DrPrunesqualer · 16/05/2025 22:20

Another poster suggested if you stand by and do nothing you are equally guilty.
They suggested that’s why all the boys were punished

I noted
If the girls stand by and do nothing then they should also be guilty by that very reasoning. To assume they are not is pure sexism. Which it is….obviously.

If you treat all of one sex collectively guilty of something just because of their sex then you are being sexist. In leaving the girls out they clearly were being sexist.
They cast blame on one group of people only based on their sex and nothing more.

This has nothing to do with girls calling out sexism….that’s got nothing to do with my point at all.

Show quote history

That is incorrect. Girls and boys do not have the same responsibility to call out sexism. You’re victim blaming. That literally was your point. Your argument ignores that sexism is against women. The sex that has been and continues to be disadvantaged. The discussion with this boy is:

are the girls being excluded or disadvantaged because their girls?
and if yes what YOU done about that?

if the answer is I didn’t do it then this is a lesson. Now he knows how it feels to miss out for something because of group exclusion. They all do. And perhaps next time he will call it out.

JohnAmendAll · 17/05/2025 07:06

TreadLight · 16/05/2025 17:39

Collective punishment is banned under the fourth Geneva convention. The boys should have formally debated war on the teachers and then non of this would have happened.

Meanwhile, back in the real world ....

FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 06:58

At least we can use some of the posts on here on threads asking why boys/male teens and young men are looking up to people like tate.
Especially when some posters seem to think that its OK to punish people that haven't done anything wrong other than be male.

theprincessthepea · 17/05/2025 00:13

It’s surprising how young they still are at that age. And sometimes they experience emotions this simply. I don’t know if you have pre pubescent children but they act like mini teens whilst still holding onto element of child-likeness - and if yours is close to you then they will feel comfortable enough to express emotions or feelings such as the ones the OPs son has expressed.

I think it is wrong what the teacher has done and I also think that right now boys are getting such bad press that they must be thinking “I can’t do anything right as a boy” - I have a son and daughter and I fear for them both for different reasons, but I’m tired of this “all boys are bad” narrative - we really don’t need to drill this into young boys - they are not all bad just because a handful of them are.

If the teacher knew which boys were being sexist, or mean to the girls then she should have narrowed them down and punished them. Full class punishment is lazy in my opinion and I would complain.

Scorchio84 · 16/05/2025 23:53

TreadLight · 16/05/2025 17:39

Collective punishment is banned under the fourth Geneva convention. The boys should have formally debated war on the teachers and then non of this would have happened.

I hate collective punishment.. god knows it was a big thing back when I was in school

It's not a thing here now, I didn't start the revolution but it's a good thing

sprigatito · 16/05/2025 23:50

This was regarded as shitty practice when I trained as a teacher fifteen years ago. I’m appalled (but not entirely surprised) that some schools are still doing it. Collective punishment is a shoddy, lazy way of managing behaviour, and the only thing the children are learning is that adults are unfair and not to be trusted.