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School's punishment of all boys in year 6

605 replies

htdt · 16/05/2025 17:28

My son is in Year 6 and has done SATS this week, today was meant to be a fun day for them as they've finished all the papers.

But my son came back from school really upset as the teachers had separated the girls and boys and he says the girls got to do fun activities and given treats but the boys got told off and given a lesson on respect.

He's taken this badly and has said things like 'I must be bad because I'm a boy'.

It's such a shame because he's worked really hard and was otherwise enjoying SATS week, but now feels horrible about himself, the teachers who told them off and the girls getting rewarded when all the boys were punished.

I feel like I need to speak to the school next week and find out what's gone on and why. I also feel like making a complaint. But I'm not sure what they are going to do to make things better even if they did agree with me that it was not a great way to deal with some boy's bad behaviour and also very bad timing so should I just forget about it...?

OP posts:
FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 08:20

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:18

Again, this isn’t sexism.

Treating someone differently because of their sex is sexism.

and as sex is a protected characteristic it is also unlawful to do so under the Equality Act 2010.

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:20

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:16

Mean girl treatment is an entirely different issue and nothing to do with sexism. Are we really, as women, trying to detract from embedded sexism by asking for girls to be punished? And you wonder why there’s an issue.

🤣oh the irony

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:19

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:15

Yes they do. Because whilst you might raise them right you aren’t the only thing that creates their thoughts, feelings and views. Schools are toxic places and we see division based on sex starting as young as 2 when children are placed in social environments. By 4/5 negative behaviour is starting and by the end of ks1 girls are actively being told they can’t join in, they aren’t fast enough, they aren’t strong enough. Even if you were present 24/7 to correct that subtle messaging you are up against the collective. And by the end of ks2 peer voice takes over mum voice.

All boys need that lesson. Delivered firmly. Beyond the home. Constantly.

Nope they really don’t, no more than girls. Plenty of kids that are different, gay or with SEN or who aren’t wearing the right shoes etc get that message on a loop and girls are often the worst at delivering it. Girls need just as much educating as boys if we’re going by that stance. If it’s all system go as regards collective punishment and we’re ignoring those who have been raised with the right values then girls need to be at the front of the queue.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:18

FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 08:17

Again the answer to combatting sexism isn't more sexism.

Again, this isn’t sexism.

FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 08:17

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:16

Mean girl treatment is an entirely different issue and nothing to do with sexism. Are we really, as women, trying to detract from embedded sexism by asking for girls to be punished? And you wonder why there’s an issue.

Again the answer to combatting sexism isn't more sexism.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:16

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:13

Girls do that all the time with girls that are different. I think some collective punishment and writing off of the entire sex can go both ways.

Mean girl treatment is an entirely different issue and nothing to do with sexism. Are we really, as women, trying to detract from embedded sexism by asking for girls to be punished? And you wonder why there’s an issue.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:15

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:11

Nope not the ones that have been raised properly. And again you don’t get to write off and discriminate an entire sex.

Yes they do. Because whilst you might raise them right you aren’t the only thing that creates their thoughts, feelings and views. Schools are toxic places and we see division based on sex starting as young as 2 when children are placed in social environments. By 4/5 negative behaviour is starting and by the end of ks1 girls are actively being told they can’t join in, they aren’t fast enough, they aren’t strong enough. Even if you were present 24/7 to correct that subtle messaging you are up against the collective. And by the end of ks2 peer voice takes over mum voice.

All boys need that lesson. Delivered firmly. Beyond the home. Constantly.

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:15

FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 08:11

And that puts girls in a whole special group of their own as they are going to be treated differently and be protected by the boys.

It doesn't work.

What needs to happen is that every child gets lessons in respect and relationships.
And those that don't adhere to that get punished whether male or female.

Yep and many many girls are in dire need of lessons on respect and relationships.

Xxbsbd · 17/05/2025 08:15

When DS was in primary anytime teachers did boys Vs girls they'd always always have the girls win.

Scorchio84 · 17/05/2025 08:13

Megifer · 17/05/2025 08:04

Horrendous? Have a word with yourself 🙄

yep we're all monsters

take your child out for the day.. jesus christ 🙄I love being told to have a word with myself

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:13

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:09

Teaching boys that treating girls differently and not calling it out is necessary.

Girls do that all the time with girls that are different. I think some collective punishment and writing off of the entire sex can go both ways.

MamaLenny · 17/05/2025 08:12

Collective detentions have always been unfair, usually a sign that a teacher has been tipped over the edge.

FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 08:11

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:09

Teaching boys that treating girls differently and not calling it out is necessary.

And that puts girls in a whole special group of their own as they are going to be treated differently and be protected by the boys.

It doesn't work.

What needs to happen is that every child gets lessons in respect and relationships.
And those that don't adhere to that get punished whether male or female.

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:11

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:09

Really isn’t. Literally no idea what you were trying to say.

Your problem

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:11

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:10

All boys need it. It is necessary.

Nope not the ones that have been raised properly. And again you don’t get to write off and discriminate an entire sex.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:10

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:03

Nope they really don’t. You don’t get to write off and punish my sons simply for being male.

All boys need it. It is necessary.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:09

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:03

No need, it was pretty clear.

Really isn’t. Literally no idea what you were trying to say.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:09

FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 08:05

Teaching boys that being male is bad isn't going to solve the issue.
And neither is giving out punishments based on the sex of the person.
Its just going to cause more and more problems.

Teaching boys that treating girls differently and not calling it out is necessary.

FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 08:05

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:00

This will be more than a one off event. As I’ve said this is a serious response and I would be getting context before I did anything. But in principle a lesson on exclusion based on sex for boys, that is unfair (it likely isn’t), maybe it should be a formal part of the curriculum.

Teaching boys that being male is bad isn't going to solve the issue.
And neither is giving out punishments based on the sex of the person.
Its just going to cause more and more problems.

Megifer · 17/05/2025 08:04

Scorchio84 · 17/05/2025 08:03

What decade are you living in? That's a horrendous thing to say

Horrendous? Have a word with yourself 🙄

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:03

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:02

What? That makes no sense. Try again.

No need, it was pretty clear.

Scorchio84 · 17/05/2025 08:03

Megifer · 17/05/2025 07:59

Lazy teachers love a bit of collective punishment rather than having to do work to sort the issue out.

Take him out of school for the day soon and do something nice with him as his treat.

What decade are you living in? That's a horrendous thing to say

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:03

Nope they really don’t. You don’t get to write off and punish my sons simply for being male.

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 08:02

R3s3t · 17/05/2025 08:02

Neither do my sons.

Yes they do.

FrippEnos · 17/05/2025 08:02

Riaanna · 17/05/2025 07:58

Which is pretty much the existence of being a girl.

I hope that you are not teaching your DD's that they are perpetual victims.