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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this rude?

56 replies

StripeyBalloon · 16/05/2025 16:06

Both kids have medical appointments that clash on the same day coming up. One in the morning and one in the afternoon. We are taking one kid in the morning and if they have the procedure we will be there a good few hours. DH has arranged for a family member of his to take the other kid in the afternoon but if the first DC doesn’t have the procedure (they sometimes cancel) we will both be able to take other DC to theirs.

I wanted the family member to be on hand and I asked DH to explain that we might be able to take other DC in the afternoon but he said that’s very rude and has just arranged even if we could be home and other DC in school? I told him how important it was that we as his parents went to the hospital with him if we were free but it’s all arranged now?

Would it be rude to have them on hand? DH said I’m being very rude and we should just let them take DC now. Or all go with family member!

OP posts:
CarpetKnees · 16/05/2025 16:51

No idea what your AIBU question is, to be able to vote, but the most logical thing to me would be to both take morning child to their procedure (if it happens), then one of you stay with them and the other take your other child to the appointment in the afternoon.

The family member who has kindly offered to help might need to be involved in bringing the child to the hospital, but I, as their parent would want to be there.

It sounds absolutely bizarre, if you are both available to then sit at home and neither of you go with the other child.

It sounds like life must be difficult, having two children needing important procedures on the same day Flowers

BarneyRonson · 16/05/2025 16:40

It isn’t rude at all, not in the slightest, to ask someone to be on hand to help IF REQUIRED.

Original poster
StripeyBalloon · 16/05/2025 16:38

GinAndJuice99 · 16/05/2025 16:14

I'm confused, why can't one of you take one kid and one take the other?

You say it's really important for afternoon kid that their parents are there but you've arranged it so there's a high chance neither of you will be. Unless I've read it wrong.

Due to SN both of us need to be with the DC in the morning.

OP posts:
GinAndJuice99 · 16/05/2025 16:14

I'm confused, why can't one of you take one kid and one take the other?

You say it's really important for afternoon kid that their parents are there but you've arranged it so there's a high chance neither of you will be. Unless I've read it wrong.

Ablondiebutagoody · 16/05/2025 16:14

Why can't you and DH do one appointment each?

Birch101 · 16/05/2025 16:08

Personally think it was ruder that you guys sat at home whilst someone else took your kid.

Just explain the situation and ask what easiest for them to plan their day