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New neighbours complaining about our toilet

342 replies

Amanda98 · 16/05/2025 13:30

We’ve got a new build where one side of our house completely backs on to a neighbours garden - that’s the back wall/boundary of their garden essentially.

Downstairs, we have a toilet with a window which is on the side of the house where that wall is, and has a small window which opens at the top. Their garden is slightly lowered so it isn’t within reaching distance. It’s a fairly odd design but we’ve lived here for years with no issues.

The neighbours have recently changed. In one of the early weeks in April when it was warm, they put a note through the door which asked we keep the window closed when it’s sunny because of the smell. We don’t really open it much anyway so thought nothing of it.

We’ve since had a further note through this week asking it stays closed on Saturday because they are hosting a BBQ for a family members birthday. We also have family over on Saturday and the downstairs loo is the one they’d naturally use.

Are the neighbours being CF? They surely can’t expect us to introduce a rule where we only crap upstairs whenever they say so!

OP posts:
Deathraystare · 16/05/2025 16:04

Megifer · 16/05/2025 13:37

And ask DP/DC to stagger their turding so it's one crap on the hour for 4 hours during their soiree.

And overfeed the dog and let her crap in the toilet too.

Ha ha ha!

privatenonamegiven · 16/05/2025 16:01

Nomoreidea · 16/05/2025 14:14

Can they hear the sound of wanking perhaps?

Screaming with laughter.

This is the best thread I've read in a while....😂😂😂😂

Nolongera · 16/05/2025 15:58

gruberandassocs · 16/05/2025 15:53

Nah sod closing the window. Tell them you will light a candle in there.

I don't think praying will help.

Nolongera · 16/05/2025 15:57

skymagentatwo · 16/05/2025 13:32

I would be having brussels and curry on Friday!

Tell them to do one.

Dandelion and burdock too.

mnahmnah · 16/05/2025 15:56

How does it smell so bad and so often that they can smell it in their garden?! And regularly enough to complain about it?!

HelplessSoul · 16/05/2025 15:54

Annascaul · 16/05/2025 14:32

How aggressive are you?
They are not “cunts” for not wanting to eat in their own garden to the accompaniment of smells of shite.
Op’s loo window should never have been designed to open into someone else’s garden.

WTF are toilets for - if not to use for human body waste?

The OP didnt design or build the house. Why are you having a pop at the OP for?

Nor is it India, where the OP is having a shit and piss outside like many do there.

Smells dissipate in the air - thats what the toilet window is for. The neighbours can fuck right off because they ARE cunts for trying to dictate how someone uses their lavatory in their own home.

The neighbours can go inside and eat - preferably in their own rose-smelling toilet if they are that precious about smells outside their home.

Seriously, your post is rather bizarre. 🙄🤦‍♂️

gruberandassocs · 16/05/2025 15:53

Nah sod closing the window. Tell them you will light a candle in there.

GoodCharl · 16/05/2025 15:51

Get a fart app on the phone and go in there when guests are assembled and make some groaning and moaning noises. You cant help when you have a bad stomach! 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

just ignore them and their letters. Tell them to FO

JudgeJ · 16/05/2025 15:49

Amanda98 · 16/05/2025 13:30

We’ve got a new build where one side of our house completely backs on to a neighbours garden - that’s the back wall/boundary of their garden essentially.

Downstairs, we have a toilet with a window which is on the side of the house where that wall is, and has a small window which opens at the top. Their garden is slightly lowered so it isn’t within reaching distance. It’s a fairly odd design but we’ve lived here for years with no issues.

The neighbours have recently changed. In one of the early weeks in April when it was warm, they put a note through the door which asked we keep the window closed when it’s sunny because of the smell. We don’t really open it much anyway so thought nothing of it.

We’ve since had a further note through this week asking it stays closed on Saturday because they are hosting a BBQ for a family members birthday. We also have family over on Saturday and the downstairs loo is the one they’d naturally use.

Are the neighbours being CF? They surely can’t expect us to introduce a rule where we only crap upstairs whenever they say so!

Tell them that you expect the smoke and smells from their BBQ to be controlled and not be spoiling your enjoyment of your garden during their event.

stichguru · 16/05/2025 15:48

That is a really odd design! Though I echo the thoughts about checking for drains which smell. I would go round and have a chat with them and see when it smells particularly bad etc. Unless you have hermetic seals on your internal doors, I don't think such a smelly dump that the smell escapes noticeably out the window, but doesn't escape through the house, is really possible!

MikeRafone · 16/05/2025 15:47

I need a diagram please 🙏 I don’t understand where the window is in relation to their garden?

Bluevelvetsofa · 16/05/2025 15:46

Is there not a fan in the toilet?

Thisisittheapocalypse · 16/05/2025 15:45

That window would be open ALL the time.

Deebee90 · 16/05/2025 15:44

Your neighbours would hate living next to me . I have bowel disease and won’t be told where I can or can’t go to the toliet. It sucks but it is what it is. No one’s Toliet habits smell of roses.

Vaxtable · 16/05/2025 15:44

I would keep it closed whilst being used and get whoever uses it to open the window and spray lots of air freshener once done, then close the window again

must admit I wouldn’t want to hear weeing pooing and farting if I was in the garden

Flyswats · 16/05/2025 15:40

I maybe would get some air freshener spray and some bleach for going down the loo after a particularly smelly dump.

notprincehamlet · 16/05/2025 15:38

It’s a power move by them
This! They've bought a house that's overlooked and they won't be happy until the window's bricked up. Time for some passive aggressive topiary.

New neighbours complaining about our toilet
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 16/05/2025 15:37

Agapornis · 16/05/2025 15:15

Strike a match to burn off the smell. Briefly set a piece of twisted loo roll on fire for good measure. Drop both in the loo to extinguish.

...it satisfies the arsonist in me, but also genuinely works.

Exactly what I was going to suggest - even if @Amanda98 and family only do it during the BBQ.

UndermyShoeJoe · 16/05/2025 15:37

I don’t think I could actually go knowing someone was sat right by the window anyway.

If you can hear them they can hear you.

BruhWhy · 16/05/2025 15:37

Nomoreidea · 16/05/2025 14:14

Can they hear the sound of wanking perhaps?

I was cracking up until this comment, now I'm dying 😂

TooGoodToGoto · 16/05/2025 15:36

HelpMeGetThrough · 16/05/2025 15:25

Come again?

or surely don’t come again 🤣🤣🤣

SillyOP · 16/05/2025 15:35

Trooooll in the dungeon

Nanny0gg · 16/05/2025 15:32

Amanda98 · 16/05/2025 13:50

I mean, it’s a toilet. It doesn’t stink 24/7 but in a house where there’s four men (DH and 3 teenage DS) it’s not always going to smell of roses, hence the window being opened when needed.

Edited

I wonder about the sound effects too...

SprinkleTheCat · 16/05/2025 15:30

This had me laughing, what a thread.

DelboytrottersDnecklace · 16/05/2025 15:29

CustardySergeant · 16/05/2025 15:00

Is he incontinent then? Or he farts continuously. How can he reek that much and surely he lives alone if he smells to that extent?

Edited

Nope,he lives with my mother (it used to be my parents,me and 3 brothers,but we've all moved away)
She just puts up with it-she has her own issues with the toliet (I'm not going into that-he's bad enough)
He's a vegetarian who eats almost nothing but organic,home grown veg and beanfeast
It's a running joke on how bad it smells but it is disgusting