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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New neighbours complaining about our toilet

342 replies

Amanda98 · 16/05/2025 13:30

We’ve got a new build where one side of our house completely backs on to a neighbours garden - that’s the back wall/boundary of their garden essentially.

Downstairs, we have a toilet with a window which is on the side of the house where that wall is, and has a small window which opens at the top. Their garden is slightly lowered so it isn’t within reaching distance. It’s a fairly odd design but we’ve lived here for years with no issues.

The neighbours have recently changed. In one of the early weeks in April when it was warm, they put a note through the door which asked we keep the window closed when it’s sunny because of the smell. We don’t really open it much anyway so thought nothing of it.

We’ve since had a further note through this week asking it stays closed on Saturday because they are hosting a BBQ for a family members birthday. We also have family over on Saturday and the downstairs loo is the one they’d naturally use.

Are the neighbours being CF? They surely can’t expect us to introduce a rule where we only crap upstairs whenever they say so!

OP posts:
TheNinny · 16/05/2025 20:18

I doubt it’s the smell, but can they hear you tinkingling? may be a bit annoying if out sunbathing etc. Or they are just paranoid about poo particles infiltrating their garden 😆

WishItWasAlwaysFriday · 16/05/2025 20:10

PinkyFlamingo · 16/05/2025 19:57

It really isn't something that can be controlled!

Theoretically maybe an air cleaner could work🙈

PinkyFlamingo · 16/05/2025 19:57

ThatsCute · 16/05/2025 13:56

I’d be mortified if my shits were so foul that they could literally stink out a neighbour’s garden.

Edited

It really isn't something that can be controlled!

AngelicKaty · 16/05/2025 19:55

@Amanda98 I'd be ignoring the NDN's note OP- you've lived there years with no complaint from the previous neighbours so they sound a bit OTT. What you could do, however, is buy a can of Neutradol Odour Destroyer and "train" all family members to spray it around the cloakroom when they've done a number 2 and don't open the window until a couple of minutes later by which time, hopefully, the smell should be neutralised by the spray.

countrygirl99 · 16/05/2025 19:54

Obviously the OPs household is full of tradesmen who, as we on Mumsnet are frequently told, only do massive, toilet blocking poos that stink the whole house out. The solution is clearly to get them to poo in a client's toilet at all times.

PiggyPigalle · 16/05/2025 19:46

More proof.
You would only know when people smell, not when they don't.

MassiveOvaryaction · 16/05/2025 19:25

SoScarletItWas · 16/05/2025 14:10

Anyone else getting flashbacks to Leage of Gentlemen and Harvey Denton’s rule that downstairs loos are not for number 2s?

”We thought you’d be happiest down here on the sofa bed, you’ll have your own shower and WC.”
”Into which we do not pass solids.”

Do you live next door to the Dentons OP?

🤣🤣

Yes! Was thinking exactly this Grin

BlueMum16 · 16/05/2025 19:21

Amanda98 · 16/05/2025 15:08

The window is closed when someone is on the loo, so they shouldn’t hear anything. The issue is when the need arises to open it…

Can you put in an extractor fan? It may vent higher up or away from their garden
Is this your only toilet? It must be bad for them to actually mention it.

CantStopMoving · 16/05/2025 19:13

Gloriia · 16/05/2025 14:00

Poor you! Get him to get checked out though or try avoiding something in his diet it really should not be so bad that it could clear a suburb Grin

Edited

Ha ha honestly I have never met a man who can’t create a nuclear reaction in a toilet bowl. Men and women have completely different constitutions. OP you are a mighty lady to live with so many men!

us ladies poop sunshine and rainbows. 🤣

MoominUnderWater · 16/05/2025 19:04

Dinosweetpea · 16/05/2025 17:50

Their fault for buying/renting a house with a garden that has someone elses toilet window open onto it!
Saying that, Our downstairs toilet window opens onto our back garden (as millions must do) and I have never smelt a thing and the window is open most of the time!
They are being ridiculous.

I have an outdoor toilet in the garden which we use regularly. It does have a door on the toilet now but we only put it on in covid times. Prior to that we used it without a door….i can’t smell our own toilet in the garden it’s actually in!

Woodywoodpecker321 · 16/05/2025 19:02

I'd open that window extra wide on Saturday

LakieLady · 16/05/2025 18:58

Elsvieta · 16/05/2025 18:16

Seems amazing they'd be able to smell anything. Is it possible there's something going on outside your house, like a leak in the sewer or something?

It would be bloody funny if it turned out that the smell was caused by a leak in the neighbours' sewer and they'd been moaning at the OP when it was their own shit that stunk.

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 16/05/2025 18:45

It's their choice to sit near a loo window.
I'd tell them to sit elsewhere..

ThatDaringEagle · 16/05/2025 18:42

PiggyPigalle · 16/05/2025 17:49

I agree, but there are no men here. Some seem to live on meat and cheap bread, washed down with fizzy drink and no, going to the gym does not undo the damage.
As for Vegans, my daughter lives a very strict vegan lifestyle and she never smells. (Her dog honks a bit .)

That dog must be male so!!

For me this thread has proven many things e.g.

  • that the OP's drain, or their next door neighbour's, is most probably blocked
  • that their neighbours are note writing pains in the ass (pun intended, ahem)
  • that female mumsnetters don't believe their shit smells
  • that we knew this already just by reading many of their posts on here sadly ;)
  • that even female mumsnetters who have 4 very smelly teenage sons still think their effluent doesn't smell
  • 'they all got that from their father don't you know...?...
  • that other green eating, virtuous , vegans on here (gender unassigned, of course, ahem) don't think their shit smells either
  • that the occasional mumsnetter is in the habit of smelling her dad's bum (just check up the thread if you don't believe me)
  • that the OP's neighbours need a whatsapp group to inform them (& their guests) when their neighbour, her DH & his 4 smelly, loo going children want to use their downstairs loo to go for a dump
- that they might want notice of a wank also, a pee may be discretionary for now, but the window must most definitely be closed during all bodily motions
  • that the very same neighbours probably haven't had the cop on, or decency, or both to check their own drains first
  • that they are most likely shits who just don't like smelling other people's shits.

So, that's enough shit from me for one post at least. Have a nice weekend y'all!

P.s. and don't let the shits get you down!!!

IttttttssssME · 16/05/2025 18:41

No one can stink a toilet out so much the neighbours can smell it unless theres a drain problem.
id ignore the letters and open all my windows and play some lovely Kanye West to get their bbq going

londongirl12 · 16/05/2025 18:39

Nothing like sitting in your garden relaxing and a strong smell of shit comes wafting out. All the posters saying your neighbours are CFs I’m sure would have something to say about it 😂

SALaw · 16/05/2025 18:33

God I’d be utterly mortified if my neighbour could smell my toilet from their garden

Luluissleeping · 16/05/2025 18:31

Re drain blocking in downstairs toilets, what does that mean for bungalows?

flyingbuttress43 · 16/05/2025 18:26

Does Mumsnet still have a Classics thread?

Witchywoo41 · 16/05/2025 18:25

Amanda98 · 16/05/2025 14:17

Sorry?

This response has me crying with laughter 🤣

I think it’s a strange layout but I have seen it on new build estates, I would just ignore as long as you have rights to open the window - but I can’t imagine you wouldn’t!

Sugargliderwombat · 16/05/2025 18:23

I couldn't poo knowing my neighbours could smell it and I would think anyone who didn't care was disgusting.

CagneyNYPD1 · 16/05/2025 18:21

Amanda98 · 16/05/2025 15:08

The window is closed when someone is on the loo, so they shouldn’t hear anything. The issue is when the need arises to open it…

In that case, I’d be looking at the drains.

whitewineandsun · 16/05/2025 18:19

LoremIpsumCici · 16/05/2025 14:12

YABU to not try to get to the bottom of this. Generally people don’t resort to notes unless they are desperate and something is very wrong. Most people will put up with a hell of a lot from neighbours without saying anything.

I’d be going round and asking them to show and tell what stinks. No toilet is going to be stinky unless you have some kind of sewage leak going on. I’d want to find out why they are associating the smell with your toilet.

I'd be doing this.

Seamond · 16/05/2025 18:18

Actually, when DH goes the stink is unreal so it could be possible it's stinking out the garden. I have told him to use the VI Poo spray beforehand to calm it down but he forgets.