New neighbours complaining about our toilet

In fairness to the neighbours, if I had a toilet with a window that opened out directly onto where they were sat eating, or having a BBQ with guests, I would use a different bathroom out of embarrassment or keep the window shut until they went in

I see I'm alone though

It seems really unlikely to me that fresh poo smells would be so invasive and pungent in a garden setting like that, I would be wondering if there was some drainage/sewage situation going on, especially with weather getting warmer, which can increase the smell.

This is totally off topic but I can’t bring myself to poop in the downstairs loo, it’s a pee only loo, other than emergencies! No idea why, it just feels wrong pooping downstairs Maybe I’ll give it a go sometime. It might be freeing.

'clear a suburb'!!!

I have just choked on my lunch.

Simon and Garfunkel Earworm

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of ...

Is it definitely a 💩smell that is the issue?

If you've got 3 teenage DS is there a chance there's actually a dried urine boys'-toilets ammonia smell - in which case that IS horrible for your neighbours as it's constantly there, and you need to give it a proper hardcore clean and instruct them to clean up after themselves!

Because of the smell?! Bloody hell. They sound over sensitive. Unless the toilet is in constant use with people doing number 2s,,I can't imagine there'd be any smell coming out of the window. Some people are just anal when it comes to anything to do with toilets (sorry!).

I mean it’s not going to be pleasant is it sitting there talking to a friend and plop plop flush.

Eating some kebobs, waft of shite.

Though I recommend your neighbour gets one for those planters with trellis and pops it right up to the wall with a clematis or something.

Can they hear the sound of wanking perhaps?

I would double check my drains just in case there was an issue but no, I certainly would NOT be told by a crazy neighbour to keep any of my windows shut.

Send them a note advising them that you are a vegan family and ask them to please refrain from using their BBQ as you don’t want the smell in your toilet.

I think I would ignore it till they actually addressed it face to face. Then I'd tell them that the window will be closed during the "doing" to guard against sound and you've supplied a spray for any smell afterward, but that no, you can't and won't be keeping the window closed because they have guests. Suggest they stay away from the end of their garden and check their drains.

Wipe your ass with their note and deliver it to them on Saturday after you have had your lunch/dinner/your own BBQ etc....

I mean, WTF do they think a toilet is for?

They are cunts.

Crikey, you smell your dad's backside!?

Gross. Here doggy, doggy.... 😂

I think if someone made such a request to me I'd fall about laughing.

Oh my god, you were actually serious?

YABU to not try to get to the bottom of this. Generally people don’t resort to notes unless they are desperate and something is very wrong. Most people will put up with a hell of a lot from neighbours without saying anything.

I’d be going round and asking them to show and tell what stinks. No toilet is going to be stinky unless you have some kind of sewage leak going on. I’d want to find out why they are associating the smell with your toilet.

I appreciate that everyone does a number two in the toilet but even with by the sounds of it at least 5 persons, it still doesn't make sense that the toilet would be noticeably smelling foul at all hours of the day - it surely cant get that much use that there is a visible toilet smell that emanates into the neighbours gardens? Could this be the drains or something else?

I don't think YABU OP as such because its your house and you can do as you wish, there is no requirement to yield to their request - but if it's genuinely the case that four men leave the toilet smelling this bad throughout the day in a way women apparently do not then I would be asking them to clean up after themselves properly after the toilet has been used, use an odour neutraliser or frankly see a doctor.

I'd probably also pop over and politely ask the neighbour that they stop sending notes regarding this and that I have no idea what they're referring to as there is no smell within the house so perhaps it is the drains (even if just to save face).

Ignore and carry on as before.

I'd repeat their request back to them. "So you are asking me not to use my toilet? Just to clarify, where do you think I should go to take a shit?"

Anyone else getting flashbacks to Leage of Gentlemen and Harvey Denton’s rule that downstairs loos are not for number 2s?

”We thought you’d be happiest down here on the sofa bed, you’ll have your own shower and WC.”
”Into which we do not pass solids.”

Do you live next door to the Dentons OP?

🤣🤣

Does your window actually open in to their garden?
if they wanted to go they put a fence up so your window could no longer open?

How did that design get through planning!

OP they bought the house as is.
They do NOT get to decide when you open your windows.
If this was an issue they really shouldn't have bought the house.
I certainly wouldn't have bought a house with that set iup.
Your window opens into their air space.
I didn't think that was allowed.

Can you splash out ( sorry) on one of those fancy Japanese toilets, I am pretty sure you can get ones that play appropriate music.

Handels Water Music for a basic wee

1812 Overture for something a bit dramatic in the poo line.

Thus Spake Zarathustra or the Rite of Spring if you are a tad bunged up and need some encouragement.

The Minute Waltz if you have a touch of the runs and are in a rush.

💩

Perhaps offer to use vipoo if they pay for a job lot! And some fancy air fresheners...