What’s your opinion on adults telling children their emotions

You can influence but you won't have any control over this problem. Do what you can but recognise your limitations as you won't be with them and the child 24/7 presumably.

No doubt based the examples given, they are emotionally dumping on a child which is harmful to that child's MH and highly manipulative.

No, you aren't being overly sensitive. Listen to your instincts and possibly reword some of the posts on this thread to help said adult in managing their emotional outbursts.
If they are unaware that they are being emotionally abusive, then guide them, any loving parent would change their ways.
If they are then doing this to be manipulative I'd be having serious words (along the lines of fuck off & get a grip etc)

😒 That's an awful thing to do to a child. Whoever said it needs to grow up.

I work with children in a safeguarding role. If this is a pattern of behaviour happening regularly then I would agree with pp that there is an element of Emotional Abuse.

Not all Emotional Abuse is deliberate. IME parents who over-share with their DC, offload on them emotionally and make them feel that it is their job make them 'happy', often don't realise they are doing it. In the vast majority of cases they are so wrapped up in their own issues that they don't recognise the emotional impact of the things they're saying on their DC. In a minority of cases, they know exactly what they're doing and it is a deliberate attempt to discourage the DC from spending time with their other parent.

It’s not in any context so impossible to answer. I often say to my kids that I’ve missed them a lot and couldn’t wait to see them. I communicate if I’m upset about something so that they understand if I’m a little impatient or something. It depends if the words are meant as a manipulation to make a point with another parent or upset the child.

i agree that it’s emotional abuse. Far better to say something along the lines of “I’m really happy to see you”

I am presuming ex-partner and you want something for court? Or childhood trauma of your own?

I think it’s fine for kids to know you were thinking about them when they’re away. Not in a “I missed you so much I cried all day”, more in a “when I was shopping I saw this thing I thought you’d like”, or they came to mind while I was doing x. Sharing emotions is fine, using those emotions to control your kids is abusive.

I'm a therapist and I know of many many clients I've worked with that as children were made to feel responsible for their parents emotions and it's very damaging to people

This.

I think it's healthy to discuss emotions somewhat, as I think kids will mirror and talk back about their emotions too.
However the phrases in the OP are completely unnecessary. If the person is in fact crying all day they need to get some serious mental help, and if not they are guilt tripping their kid to never leave them and will most likely make their child miserable and full of anxiety

Yikes, that's too much IMO. I think it's fine for parents to acknowledge and name their feeling in the moment or after to their children - eg, when you're stressed or frustrated - but what you're describing sounds a tad too love-bomby for my liking.

Yeah that's emotional abuse and a way to create a hyper sensitive child who walks on eggshells worrying about adults emotions when it isn't their responsibility.
If my 4 year old has ever witnessed me being overly emotional (crying, huffing cause I'm angry for whatever reason) I always reassure them that it's nothing they've done.
I don't think any of the adults in our family would ever say I missed you so much all I did was cry. Not even their Dad when he's been working away for a few days. Just big cuddles and a really happy sounding "Oh I've missed you!"

Is the person who is behaving like this there's non resident parent by any chance?

Definitely not ok. It's ok - or even good - to name your emotions, but not to talk about how you failed to deal with them.

'I missed you so much' is fine.

Could you discuss this with your child in anticipation of this happening again? 'I miss you loads when you are not here too, but I try to keep busy, get my jobs done and plan nice things for when you are back again '

Or even 'Daddy/Mummy/Granny does cry a lot. You know it's not your fault don't you? I think it's best to try to keep busy and happy, when we feel a bit sad, don't you? We all know that you are going back there soon.'. That way you are modelling a more positive way of dealing with emotions and hopefully giving your child some confidence in dealing with what is essentially manipulative, emotional blackmail.

My mum was very much like this. It made me feel responsible for ensuring she didn't feel sad by the things I did. But some of those things were important things for my development which I missed out on.

I didn't realise how much it affected me until she did the same to my son and I felt this massive surge to protect him.

The flip side is I have swung too far the other way and my son says that he thinks I don't care at all as i don't express those sorts of feelings.

So maybe what ever we do is wrong.

My dad did stuff like that too.

He used to tell us bedtime stories with himself as the main character, out on the streets in the snow, sort of like the little matchstick girl.
He was an alcoholic and my mum used to kick him out of the house sometimes when they argued. I think he told us the stories to make sure we got so upset at the thought of him leaving so he could get back in.
It worked because we used to be distraught at the idea of him out wandering the streets but in reality he was in his mother’s house perfectly fine.
The man in the story sometimes died and we would be beside ourselves, crying our eyes out. He used to occasionally outright say Imagine if I died when he was too lazy to tell the whole story.
I was a nervous wreck as a child, had terrible anxiety, OCD. For a few years my main fear was my dad dying. Not surprising when I think about what he was saying to us.
It took me til my thirties to realise it was actually emotional abuse. I think I would prefer if he’d just hit me, and I don’t say that lightly.

OP, what you are describing is emotional abusive or at the least, very very strange to say to a child. It’s not healthy for them at all.

Sounds like emotional incontinence tbh. What’s the kid supposed to say/do? We’ve got a family member who embarks on similar guilt trips (usually about worry) and the kids are just like ‘oh…right. Well, er, don’t worry.’ When they were littler they just looked baffled. It’s ludicrous.

after the summer holidays I miss my kids (probably some mild form of Stockholm syndrome ha ha) and I tell them I missed their faces and their chat when they come home on the first day back but this is in no way to indicate they should feel bad for me or not go to school.

I'm very open and honest with my child about my emotions. I have significant physical illnesses. Being honest is best in my view. He's seen me cry. I explain what was happening and reassure and apologise if I caused worry. I will explain why I'm angry. If it something outside of his behaviour I won't really go into the specifics of it at all and will just deal with that. A good example here is being rikled up inside by the multiple sociopathic/ narc head fucks in my family. I.cant exactly tell a child about that. So hiding that is tough. They feel it.

I'm ok with all this expression I have described. My life is the way it is and all the therapy, pain relief etc etc isn't enough to over come what I'm dealing with. This is reality for many mum's,.many dealing with more.

The examples you gave , that's not the same thing. That feels manipulative and coercive and dumping alot of trauma onto a child.

Those Examples are so manipulative and horrible. A child shouldn’t have to hear that.

Otherwise, age appropriate comments are fine: “mummy is sad because grandad Died”, “I’m going to miss you but hope you have a wonderful time”, “ I was scared because I didn’t know where you were”. Children need to understand that other people have feelings and emotions too.

General emotional states can be helpful

Your examples are emotional manipulation at best, emotional abuse at worst.

Nothing wrong with the parent saying they missed them. But crying all day is to much of a burden on the child. Likewise sharing other problems with their children.

We had similar with my SD and her Mum. It's a long standing pattern, and goes beyond just the "I missed you!" and sending endless texts about it when she's with us.

When SD was 8 she told me that her and her Mum had both agreed that they wouldn't be able to live without the other and if one died the other would kill themselves. She also gets told the intimate details of the fights that her Mum and stepdad have- her Mum will come into her bedroom late at night, wake her up and tell her that stepdad is leaving and she's not going to see him anymore because he's been so horrible to her, and then in the morning it's blown over and it's like nothing has happened.

Unfortunately, it's had the effect that Mum wanted, they are hugely codependent on each other and SD has been reluctant to spend much time with her Dad throughout her childhood. We moved away subsequently as we were only in the area for her and hardly seeing her, and she comes up for holidays and occasional weekends, but it often feels like it's under duress.