To ask how you found your neurotribe?

OP in life the only person you can trust fully is yourself. When people tell you they are great and label you, stop and think does this give them an advantage over you?
My experience of therapy, albeit years ago, was that the therapist drew out my concerns and helped me work out where my patterns were (taking on responsibility for other adults/ feelings of guilt) and helped with strategies moving forward. I was active and not passive as it was about me and not her.
Try another therapist I think you'll be surprised.

I would be extremely sceptical of any professional claiming to diagnose someone without a doubt in a few minutes

She told you this?

or you actually had to wait months until you got your first app?

I'm wondering why she's recommending medication. She's not a doctor, and there is no mediation for autism.

I'm a late diagnosed autistic woman, with a private diagnosis from the Lorna Wing Centre in London. If you're concerned you may be autistic and have a spare £2k to chuck at finding out, I do recommend seeking those answers.

My friends are from the local choir and church. I dip into a neurodiversity network at work but don't find it great. The self diagnosed have completely taken over and there is no space for actually diagnosed voices.

The more you say about her, the more unprofessional she sounds. I’d find someone new, whatever you decide to do about seeking a diagnosis.

By any chance have you posted multiple times about payment issues with this therapist? And whether or not to contact her with feedback?

She sounds like she doesn’t want to treat you

there’s a middle ground between no therapy and becoming dependent on therapy, that you therapist is choosing to ignore for some reason

She sounds honestly like one of the worst therapists I’ve ever heard of.

My (none-evidence based) opinion is that a lot of Autistic people will have a special interest in neurodiversity - this is one of the things that can make them such amazing advocates for the Community. I have also wondered if autistic women are drawn to careers such as psychotherapy because it gives them chance to explore and understand human behavior. I am not autistic myself but I have a daughter who was diagnosed as a young teenager so I am reading and learning all the time. I am also very happy to be corrected by actual autistic people in anything I say!

Anyway, new motherhood is a huge shift in identity in and of itself. Whether now is the right time to consider another change to your identity is a choice for you to make. If you are autistic, you will still be autistic in 5 years time, and you will still be autistic even if you never go through the formal diagnostic procedure. And so will lots of other people that you meet.

So no harm to focus on things that are local and accessible to you that you can get to, and maybe "lurk" in some of the online neurodiverse spaces - lots of people you can follow on Instagram that don't expect engagement, while you consider how to proceed. Best of luck - I hope you fi d the connection that you are looking for.

She sounds like bad news, OP. She’s your therapist, not the gatekeeper for people with autism, in case the self-diagnosed try to slip in. She’s supposed to be a neutral presence, only disclosing information about herself rarely and carefully, if it can be helpful in the therapeutic process.

If she didn't think you are autistic then you wouldn't need to be paying for her services so of course she says that! Therapists have to keep the money coming in somehow.

Who does she mean by “her community” and “they find it hard”

Who is they? A specific organisation ?

Because otherwise it’s not like all ND people get together for club meetings and all agree and think alike.

Really ??
My son is severely autistic and was diagnosed at three
It still.took seven months of assessments to get a,diagnosis
She can't just decide you are ND
Does she even have an official diagnosis herslf?

There will be lots of people that think like you and are not ND.

Its called being human.

I was right there on her A-dar.

Uh huh. Let me tell you what’s showing up on my BS-dar…

She sounds like she’s talking out of her arse.

Or at the very least, through a filter relating to her own issues, not what might be best suited to her client.

Neurotribe, ffs.

You Might want to think about getting a new therapist… Do you feel isolated and in need of a support network? Is this how her suggestion came up? If so, it can be much more productive to learn how to connect better with the people around you in your existing community (eg family, old friends, parents’ groups, neighbours). I am wary of groups on basis of ND or Mental health conditions as they can falsely proscribe limits and encourage over emphasis on what’s ‘wrong’ with you. Reading around the subject and using support groups can be really helpful but not as the basis of your social life.

Well, as someone who’s had a lot of therapy, in different countries, I think she sounds unprofessional and unwise. She has no qualifications to ‘diagnose’ you, not all neurodiverse people automatically bond, and what is this about you seeking out your ‘neurotribe’ so as not to be “too dependent’ on her? Do you think you’re too dependent on her?

Sorry, this sounds like complete bollocks. Does she really mean you just need friends?

The “ND Community”?

ND covers everything from autism and ADHD to dyslexia, dyspraxia, OCD, Tourette’s etc etc.

My DD is ND, none of her friends are. She’d be be pretty non-plussed if you suggested she should find a tribe of other ND people for support. She doesn’t consider her neurodivergence a defining characteristic.

She has a close relative who is also ND, they have very little in common.