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AIBU?

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To wonder if this is normal school policy for 3 year olds starting Pre-school?

79 replies

AnneMarieW · 15/05/2025 21:33

My just turned 3 year old started pre-school today (they’ve been ill otherwise they would have started straight after Easter) - and just so I’m not dripfeeding they are my PFB after lots of IVF, will likely be an only child and have been at home with me till now (only ever babysat by grandparents), so accept I may be being overprotective.

I was surprised at the school open day that they only showed parents the pre- school classroom and a second empty classroom where they chatted with us - no tour of the rest of the school or grounds. But it’s as my closest school (easily walkable) and I want my DC to hopefully make friends locally, plus it gets a good Ofsted report, I made the choice to send DC there (although no school here is oversubscribed so there is a wide choice).

But they apparently also have no settling-in policy for pre-school (no limited starting hours or parent staying for the first session etc), no home visit to meet the child, no form to fill in about their likes/dislikes etc. I had to ask them to let my DC visit the school with me but again my DC only met one teacher and again only saw the pre-school classroom (there are 2 teachers in the class and multiple TA’s).

Then at drop off today, the 2nd pre-school teacher they hadn’t met before (so a stranger to DC) met us at the school gate and ushered them in - apparently parents aren’t normally allowed inside even on the first day as it’s disruptive to the children?

Is this the norm for starting pre-school? It seems very “throw them in at the deep end” and hope for the best.

OP posts:
JoyousEagle · 15/05/2025 21:40

You’ll be able to see the rest of the school when you’re looking to do your applications for primary school. I’d imagine some parents aren’t interested in seeing that now because maybe it’s their preferred pre-school, but only because their preferred/nearest primary school doesn’t have a pre-school.

I do find it surprising they don’t do a session where the parent stays, I do think that probably more places offer this than don’t. But if I was worried I’d just make my own “settling sessions” ie I’d just pick them up early for the first few days.

Not being allowed in is probably fairly normal. Lots of parents in and out of the room, plus outdoor shoes, is probably best avoided. We hand over at the door to the nursery room (door opens directly into the nursery garden), parents don’t go into the building.

outingouting · 15/05/2025 21:39

I’ve only done nursery not pre-school but seems fairly normal to me.

do you like their key worker / the setting?

I think parents coming in would be very disruptive and make it worse for the kids

Octavia64 · 15/05/2025 21:37

Yes.

actual school will do a home visit.

nurseries or childminders will do settling in sessions .

MidnightPatrol · 15/05/2025 21:35

How did your child get on?

It sounds fine to me tbh - I think there is far too much fussing around with settling in, parents hanging round etc. A home visit just seems massively OTT too.