To wonder if this is normal school policy for 3 year olds starting Pre-school?

Is it just 3 hours a day? A settling session at nursery would be about the same. This is how preschool was for both of mine and they had a brilliant time, settled very easily and as it's a high keyworker:child ratio they very quickly learn their names, likes, dislikes etc.

I wouldn’t read anything in to it on its own, but I would question how nurturing an environment it is which is important to me and would look carefully at the whole offer.

I had the choice of 3 excellent very small primaries, all very similar on paper. One was very shiny and impressive and professional but felt cold. The one we are at felt like it gave you a hug when you went in despite a bit of peeling paint and tattier furniture. The staff were so friendly and welcoming and put everyone at ease. That’s the school we went for because that was the environment best for my child.

They also have “nurture school” accreditation now although didn’t when we were looking.

It’s like controlled crying vs attachment parenting. They both work, it just depends what sort of upbringing you want.

It sounds like you’ve definitely made the right decision to go to the walkable one.
And as it’s only for half a day, I’m sure he will be absolutely fine.

They will make it fun for him and he will love making friends I’m sure ! X

Our Pre-school also had an hour where parents could stay and play with their children, you’re right it should be normal to do that

Are you sure that she isn't now doing some kind of settling in visit? Where you given the option to start her in September instead? Not being critical, just wondering, because from you saying she just turned 3, I would assume that she will still be 3 in September 2025, therefore she will turn 4 in spring/summer 2026 and won't start school till September 2026? Therefore she could do her proper nursery year from September 2025 to July 2026 and doesn't need to have started yet? I would think that they would only be able to facilitate settling in visits with parents over summer when they didn't have to care for a full group of children and therefore could more easily facilitate proper supervision with un-DBS checked adults around, whereas now they will be supervising there whole group of children who started at 3 in Sept 24 and won't leave until the summer hols.

I had a similar experience with my daughter starting pre-school, I thought there would be much more preparation but she’s absolutely taken it in her stride and it makes me think that on reflection the school probably knows what works best for the children and she’s very happy and settled there.

@ToldoRasaIt’s the year before reception so 3-4. In our school it’s very much a proper school environment. They have a structured learning day, go to assembly with the big kids, wear a uniform etc.

Our pre-school did a home visit, an hours stay and play session (which I was allowed to stay for) and a half day settling in session before my son did his first full day. So yes what you experienced sounds odd to me.

First full day drop off was as you described though, no parents allowed.

What is preschool? Is it the same as reception year? I thought that started at the age of 4. If it is similar to school then I can imagine no real settling in support, but if it is similar to nursery then I am surprised they don't ease them into it.

I would have expected them to have some settling in sessions and to be shown around the whole school. If your DC is happy and it’s meant to be a good school then I would keep them there, you can look around the school on open days when you apply for a reception place.

The settling in process (or lack thereof) is not best practice, hopefully your child settles well. However, not being shown around the whole school is normal - as a pp said, a place in the nursery does not guarantee a place in Reception and staff do not want to set expectation by suggesting it might. School visits would usually be as part of the marketing or admissions process prior to school applications.

Seems a bit minimal to me, but not worryingly so.

I am 100% against parents in classrooms, or shorter days (for most kids) because any teacher will tell you how disruptive they both become. Children find it hard to deal with a teacher if they can run to mummy.. and getting them used to shorter days (if you are planning on full days) only gives you a second battle once they have to transition from half to full.

But, Home visits, school visits, chats with the teachers before starting, questionnaires etc. All good stuff that both of the pre-schools I've been involved with do.

Did you want to go in and sit with them all day? At what point would you have left? Just let them crack on

Are you talking about a settle program into pre-school?
parents being there with young kids (preschool or reception) can make it a lot harder on the child to get in their with classmates and settle in.
don't put your own worries on your small child.

I have one confident, sociable child and one less so - same pre-school. The confident one got this approach and it was fine, good for him in fact. He had good social skills young and would be more upset if I was there getting upset or if another child had separation issues, otherwise fine. The shy child had a home visit, extra help and discussions with me about how to help them.

I think the "no need to create problems that aren't there" ethos is a good one, if they like lots of things there's no need for lists, why narrow them down, if they are articulate they can talk to the staff themselves.

If your DS is happy and thriving, then it's working for him, you've done a really good job that's he's so secure and ready.

Our preschool had very gradual settling-in sessions but they are particularly nurturing and supportive and I don't think its the UK norm. Settling in took place over the first 7 days of attendance (not including the weekend) and parents stayed for the full session on the first day, and reduced that time each day.

There was also a weekly stay and play run by the nursery where younger dcs got to know the staff and structure. My dc attended that for a year and knew the staff really well by the time she joined the preschool, so she settled quickly and there were never any tears or reluctance to enter the class. The gradual approach worked for her and she wouldn't have liked being dropped off with no settling in.

When I taught reception (so older than your child), I did home visits for every child, a family visit to the school and also we had a week of PT before being FT. Parents also filled in information about their children. For SEN children I also visited their nursery/CM.

I don’t think this was exceptional, I worked in several schools and all had some sort of planned transition.

YANBU.

Same school, different experiences x3!

DC1 started in reception. Home visit, visit in the July with me and DC1 at the school - full tour. Then September starts, week 1 mornings, week 2 afternoons, week 3 mornings and lunch, week 4 lunch and afternoons, week 5 9.30 drop off 2.30 pick up, week 6 finally full time.
It was painful.
DC2 did nursery at the school, no home visit required. DC2 met new teachers and had transition days in reception in July. First day of September they went full time.
Very smooth transition.
DC3 missed nursery (Covid) home visit,both visited in the July for a play and stay. September week 1 mornings, week 2 mornings and lunch, week 3 full time.
Easier than DC1

Never have I been in on the first morning with any of them. It was always kiss, hug, see you after, have a good day, and off they went.

Sounds like LO had a good day, that's what matters. It gets easier for you as a parent dropping them off also.

It sounds much like where I work (not in UK if that's relevant). We are a 3 hour session so no settling in period. Babies and toddlers starting full time care do have a settling in policy. We find it's best to limit parental involvement, so we greet them at the door. Often children who are playing happily will get upset or want to go home when a parent comes into the room, we don't ban it outright but discourage it. We do lots of parents participation stuff throughout the year instead. To be honest it's often the parents fussing at drop off that cause the drama more than the kids. When both parents come to the door and make a big ceremony of saying goodbye it really stresses the kids, they feel like they are being sent away forever. Less fuss the better.

Edited to add we don't have a form but I would like if we did as it's helpful, especially when children have their own words for things like toilet. We usually ask the parents but it's easy forget or get confused.

We had those forms when DC moved up rooms in nursery. I never knew what to put on it or why it was needed. Certainly wouldn't expect it in a school setting, even pre-school. They'll get to know your child.

I dropped mine on the first day having not met the teacher as she was new. 15 hours a week, every morning type place. I don’t think it’s normal to do setting in sessions at preschool