How can I convince Dh to move back home?

Me neither. I couldn’t watch someone I supposedly loved struggle like this. I would find being in your situation extremely difficult- and if he won’t even empathise, that’s just awful. Did you initially plan to live in Spain forever?

So does your daughter also qualify for citizenship in Spain?

It IS true, in the legal sense, and also very very very likely in actuality. You are just only now realizing, from the sound of it, that Spain is home for your child. You might wish you can pass on belonging by virtue of being her mum, but that's not how it works. A lesson many expats learn (myself included)!

Look, I can see this is a surprise. And I can see you feel like we're insensitive.

If this is about having a moan about being homesick, sure, we do understand.

If this is actually wanting to move her away from home to what you wish were her home: just. no. luck. There is no moral way to do that at this point against the wishes of her loving father. That's the default you guys created together, voluntarily or not.

Thing is, you say you shouldn’t have to live somewhere you don’t want to but why should he? He wants to stay, you want to go so only viable solution is to separate. Hideous as that is. This is one of those situations where you CANT both win. It’s not like you want a pizza and he wants a kebab, this is a big deal. Whoever compromises will be resentful which is crap in a relationship.

I’m so sorry OP. Does your husband even care about how unhappy you are?

Oh please. Let’s uproot everyone’s home, only place the child knows and grown up in, work, everything. Oh and go look after ops parents.

Oh come off it. You (and the OP’s husband) know that his saying no to returning is trapping her there because he also gets to say where the child lives so she has no options. He has complete control over where she lives. It’s a shitty situation for her. I’d always tell my kids to never have kids in or move with kids to another country unless they are 100% certain this where they want to live forever. OP, it sounds as if you won’t persuade him and he doesn’t have to even pretend to listen to you. Is there a chance of spending more holiday time in the UK? Though if you have a career your holiday time will be limited.

I’m sorry it must be very difficult but you can’t take your daughter back to the UK without your dh agreeing to it.

The law will say otherwise. She was born in Spain and lives in Spain - you can’t just take her away from that.

In that case I would stay. I read somewhere that the Spanish economy is on the up after many years of high unemployment especially among young people. Education and health care is good.

Based on the further information that you have given, that you are in Spain, with a settled 7 year old child who is Ordinarily Resident in Spain and that you are not prepared to live in a different country to your child, then yes, that's exactly what it means.

Your choices are stay in Spain together as a family
or
Separate and stay in Spain until DD is 18 (when she can choose where she lives)
or
Move back to the UK alone.

Your DH has discussed it with you. He's said he doesn't want to move back to the UK. You cannot make him move, and you cannot move your DD to the UK without his permission. So yes, you are stuck in Spain for the next 11 years minimum or you live in a different country to your DD.

I think it would be helpful to lay out exactly what you want to return for - do you know you can both get well paying jobs? Can you afford a home here? What’s your specific proposal?

I agree that just because something felt fun a decade ago doesn’t mean it needs to be your life for the next decade, so always worth checking in. But unfortunately the default now is that you’re there and he’s happy so all the onus is on you if you want to change something.

It’s very unlikely the Spanish courts would let you leave with your child. Unless you think he will consent to you taking your child with you, you have to assume your child is staying in Spain at least until 18 (and chances are they won’t want to leave then) and make your decisions accordingly.

I’m sorry, I know that’s not what you wanted to hear.

Yes, if you want to stay living in the same country as daughter, that’s exactly what it means.

She is ordinarily resident of Spain - it’s her home. You can’t just take her away from that because you’ve changed your mind about living there - that’s something you should have thought about before having a child abroad, as harsh as it sounds.

A 7-year-old IS firmly rooted.

If you want to stay married and living with your child, then yes, it means exactly that.

Your only other option is to leave him, return to the UK and either hope he allows your DC to go with you, or be prepared to co parent from the UK, only seeing your child in the school holidays.

My children would be horrified if we decided to move back to our home country. It’s definitely not theirs even though they have citizenship. They are firmly Scottish - were born here and are growing up here. Where their parents grew up is mostly meaningless

How old?