How can I convince Dh to move back home?

I empathise with you, it's a tough situation.
I think this is something you both must find a way to discuss properly. He can't simply shut you down as "UK is horrible right now", its not like that. Many countries are going through crisis... but people like to complain and if you believe what you read you'd think the UK was going down the drain...
Anyway I diverge... there must be room for discussion, what does each of your professional futures look like in Spain and UK? And personal lives? How about your daughter’s? You need ro talk about this, although legally she os rooted there and you know you can't take her away, it's not reasonable for a partner to simply put his foot down about about HE thinks is best without discussions.
But do get her Spanish citizenship, you'll regreti it if you don't. It will mean so many more doors are open for her future, and it makes no difference about the fact you can't uproot her form there on your own (you can't anyway, having a Spanish passport doesn't change that).

There are many children at my children’s schools who don’t speak English at home and are succeeding in an English speaking school so I am surprised that she’s struggling as well. Usually takes around a year for a child to be fully bilingual but if your daughter was born in Spain she should be much further along. was she in an English speaking nursery or something?

worth remembering that many, many people immigrate and settle into their new country, raising children in an very different place to where they grew up. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, and nothing inherently wrong with finding a place where you want to be in the world and making it happen. Unfortunately that happened for your husband and not for you. I really do understand - my husband is much more himself in Scotland than I’ll ever be, but at this point I’m not really American either.

in all honesty are you sure it would be that much better here? Am guessing you’d find plenty of things aren’t as great as you’re picturing - grass is always greener etc. Is it just to see family? I obviously am the outlier here as I think the uk and Spain are super close together and live thousands of miles further away from my parents - not to say I recommend that mind!

I really can’t agree with posters saying it too much of an uproot for her daughter to go to
tje UK. Get a grip people, she’s 7! She’ll adapt fine!

I really feel for you OP.

Unfortunately too many men are comfortable just sticking to what they want, regardless of the impact on their wife. .

I agree with you that being surrounded by her extended family is better for your daughter No child can have too much love.

Look up Hague Mothers. Speak to a solicitor specializing in this area. If you want to go back to the UK,,and I think this is a better option than living with and being dependent on a man you will increasingly resent and despise, you need to find a way to go back home. It might be a long hard struggle but some women find a way. You never know, if you really start to take action, your H may wake up and agree to move back. Once back you can get on with divorcing him.

The writing at school was more of an issue as only ever did written schoolwork in Spanish

Yes, this, but I don't think the OP is interested in entertaining the idea that this might apply to her child.

She wants her child's interests to be as she presumes them, not her husband, or the law, or best practice.

Because she doesn't want to admit she wants to move back DESPITE (or regardless of) the burden it would put on her daughter.

She is just miserable. Which... sucks.

You may have a rose tinted view of the UK as your dh is right, the UK is a very tough place to live now.
I think in particular school-wise, there's very little chance of the experience being better here. I'm fact, the UK school system is an absolute disaster right now and we're considering moving to to Europe for our DC's sake.

That said it seems to be mainly about your feelings and they are what they are, so I'd tell your DH it's making you reconsider the marriage, if indeed it is, and see how he reacts.
If not, be grateful for cheap flights. And sun.

She also has prospects in the a member country of the EU, arguably more than she would in the UK (even if that requires moving from your specific area in Spain).

I'd be thinking about this for my child tbh.

Conversely, I went to school with other immigrant children that very much struggled with being moved from their home country to that of their parents*, and never considered the country they were moved to, to be home for them. Some did return as adults, and others moved somewhere else entirely.

*and these were cases where both parents were on the same page, unlike you and your DH.

Not exactly appealing, no. Plus, the cost of living seems so high in the UK from what I read on here.

Yes of course they are MORE attached to their parents (mother AND father). I am not arguing it would be better for her to stay there if you both went back.

That doesn't mean she isn't rooted in her country and her community and you wouldn't do harm moving her out.

And don't forget, it's not two parents versus one child here. It's you OR the dad, and on top of that the disruption away from Spain.

Honestly, it sucks. You ARE trapped. But you trapped yourself and you can't make it better now by anything other than either finding a solution with your husband, or abducting your own child. The latter is seriously frowned upon.

@Cantstopsneezingatishoo why did you move to Spain? What do you both do there? Have you just grown to totally resent it?

Your husband believes otherwise 🤷🏻‍♀️ in practice, it doesn’t automatically follow that a parent wanting to believe something will be better for their child (which just so happens to be something that would be better for the parent), means that it actually will be better for their child.

As it stands, this isn’t a theory you’re going to be able to test.

Oh . The nursery and school my friends child went to was all Spanish speaking. Her dad also learnt the language

But it sounds like you're saying to move back to the UK as your parents will need you to be their carers so can't see that selling well to him.
Are both you from the same area in UK your parents are in or is it a done thing you'll move to them?

I wondered this. I have friends who lived in Spain. Their child was born there and her Spanish was better than her English. She struggled in school when in uk

No, that it what you want to be true, that does not in any way guarantee that actually being her experience.

She doesn’t need to be around wider family in order to feel happy and secure. She also has prospects in the a member country of the EU, arguably more than she would in the UK (even if that requires moving from your specific area in Spain).

Your husband has communicated to you that returning to the UK as an intact family is not an option available to you. You cannot force him to provide you with what you want, you can only make decisions based on the options that are.

Some of us were that child, and many of us have those kids and we have read the literature and our expatriating employers, who send us abroad, have family officers to talk this through and we have the now-grown kid if older colleagues talk about it and many colleagues who were expats themselves and they talk about...

A 7-year-old living in a culture not her parents' is not uncommon at all. There is much information about it.

Honestly, the consensus in my circles (= expat expat expat) is kids attach to their families until the age of three-ish, then they are putting down roots in the community, and of course as teens they detach from their parents and it becomes a while different ballpark.

7 = rooted, almost all of the time/if your child is at all socialized.

It was easier for us as our kids are much better off here (uk) than where we grew up (the states) so I would have moved just for me.

if you said you are going are you sure he’d want you to leave your daughter there? Cause splitting up and moving home ‘with’ your daughter is an option if he agrees. Setting you up for years of flying back and forth but maybe that’s worth it? You don’t sound particularly invested in the relationship

Why does she struggle with the language, if she was born in Spain? I know a few kids and teenagers who grew up in Spain (both mainland and islands), and they're pretty much bilingual.