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Original poster

How can I convince Dh to move back home?

239 replies

Cantstopsneezingatishoo · 15/05/2025 20:26

We live abroad. We had a great time when a bit younger and it’s a beautiful place, but we’re getting a little older now (mid 40’s) my parents are still ok but obviously ageing and I want to be around for them. I have work here, but would have more choice in the uk. I’d like our Dd to go to school in the uk.
The thought of being here when we’re older and retired makes me feel uneasy, I don’t feel
as secure as i’d like.
He hates the thought of returning to the uk and won’t discuss it.

What do I do?

OP posts:
LoveWine123 · 16/05/2025 07:03

Popsicle1981 · 16/05/2025 06:59

You’ve not really sold it to him. ‘We should move back to the UK to take on a couple of decades of care for elderly relatives’

This!

Popsicle1981 · 16/05/2025 06:59

You’ve not really sold it to him. ‘We should move back to the UK to take on a couple of decades of care for elderly relatives’

PullTheBricksDown · 16/05/2025 00:11

Are you in a country where he could block you leaving? Or your DD going with you?

TipsyRaven247 · 16/05/2025 00:07

You can't force him to go back so you are going to have to choose: either leave your family behind and move back to the UK or stay with the family where you are.

Pleaseshutthefuckup · 15/05/2025 23:09

Any possibility your parents would move out there and join you?

InterIgnis · 15/05/2025 23:06

Cantstopsneezingatishoo · 15/05/2025 22:36

But we have child? So what’s the answer

Show quote history

An answer you like? There isn’t one. If it’s a hard no from him you either give up on moving back to the UK and settle where you are, or you split up and deal with whatever that entails regarding the residency of your child.

rivalsbinge · 15/05/2025 22:46

Depends where you are? Is the UK your native country and his!? Where was you child born are you desperate to move or coukd you just have a break to travel!?

ArtTheClown · 15/05/2025 22:41

But we have child? So what’s the answer

Honestly I'd say you're stuck then of he point blank refuses.

Original poster
Cantstopsneezingatishoo · 15/05/2025 22:36

InterIgnis · 15/05/2025 22:18

He hasn’t opted out of the conversation by the sounds of it, he’s clearly communicated that he doesn’t want to return to the UK.

You can’t make a decision for him, only for yourself.

Edited

But we have child? So what’s the answer

OP posts:
InterIgnis · 15/05/2025 22:18

He hasn’t opted out of the conversation by the sounds of it, he’s clearly communicated that he doesn’t want to return to the UK.

You can’t make a decision for him, only for yourself.

Eyesopenwideawake · 15/05/2025 22:11

I'm with your DH. You and he need to articulate the pros and cons for both (and any other, such as 3rd country) options. Write separate lists first then a joint one, and add emotional as well as practical reasons.

Original poster
Cantstopsneezingatishoo · 15/05/2025 22:05

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/05/2025 20:30

The only thing you can do is discuss it. Why does he get to opt out of conversation?

Ive said all the positives so many times, he doesn’t want to uproot our lives and thinks the uk is crap now

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 15/05/2025 20:30

The only thing you can do is discuss it. Why does he get to opt out of conversation?