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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH wfh issues as it's our home!

139 replies

Beautifulweeds · 15/05/2025 20:09

Ok, so I know I am probably going to be shot down in flames but...

DH has a private solo office 2 miles away, all paid for, but prefers to wfh, which I understand for the comforts and being able to do house stuff.

On maternity leave I would have to make sure DC were quiet during his calls, while they were desperately trying to get in to see him, downstairs office. I went back to work FT, dropped DC off at nursery/ breakfast club and after school club, so extra long day for me, meanwhile DH had time to do a shop, put a wash on, all good 👍

Then I went PT as needs of DC became clear, so on my 2 days off (I also worked weekends when shifts were available) he was still in his office and I was home, either with or without DC. The office is downstairs next to the front door so I was coming and going doing errands, also when he worked from kitchen, I felt restricted with noisy chores.

Aibu to think just f##k off to your office, get out of the house, let your company pay for a million cups of a day and heating, just the days I'm home even.

Sorry, I just get so annoyed he's just sat there at the computer, he works hard of course, but does get a lot of free time as well. When I'm out at work, it's great he can do school runs etc but when I'm home it would be sooooo nice to have a bit of me time, do the chores, come in and out as I need to. My job is full on, demanding, so some respite would be lovely before I do my weekend job.

I know I'm probably being unreasonable and selfish, I do have my own mental issues which require space, being on my own to decompress.

On the other hand, he knows this, yet still chooses to wfh just because it's easier, but I can't have an easier work day.

Thanks for reading, felt good to vent, sorry!!! Xxx

OP posts:
Muffinmam · 15/05/2025 21:06

You’re overthinking this.

Cut the wifi. All you have to do is press the reset button every time you walk past it and it will take a while to reconnect.

My ex and I used to have a friend who would come over and stay all night using the wifi. My ex would just trip the circuit by turning on two appliances at once. Even though all the lights would stay on a few power points would go out - including the wifi as it was on that circuit.

He’s staying home because he’s comfortable.

PeloMom · 15/05/2025 20:51

TheOccupier · 15/05/2025 20:50

YANBU. Get the hoover out and give the DC lots of sugar!!!

And send the. To the office when you hear him on a call 🤣

TheOccupier · 15/05/2025 20:50

YANBU. Get the hoover out and give the DC lots of sugar!!!

Bearbookagainandagain · 15/05/2025 20:50

Has he actually ask you to restrict your movements or keep the noise down, or complain in any way?
It looks like a lot of self-imposed restrictions over nothing.

My husband and I work from home a lot, beyond keeping the kids out of the room we've never had to change anything to the routine. If there is noise I put my headphones on and that's it.

So basically, you do you, you live your life in the house as normal, and if he isn't happy then he can go to the office.
But if he isn't complaining and you're just upset you don't have the house to yourself, then yes YABU!

PeloMom · 15/05/2025 20:46

We have similar set up. I told my DH 2 days a week he must go to the office and that’s non negotiable- he can chose which days. I went on about it daily for few months and finally happened. It’s so much better.

PorkPieandPickle · 15/05/2025 20:45

I don’t understand the need for tiptoeing around. I wfh, it doesn’t bother me if DH hoovers or has music or the TV on, I’m in my office with the door shut, zoned into my work. If I was in a meeting I have a headset on. If I wasn’t and found it overly noisy I’d put earplugs in. I would be angry if DH suggested he didn’t want me to wfh (he wouldn’t though!)

user2848502016 · 15/05/2025 20:44

Won’t he compromise? 2 days home 3 in the office for example?

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 15/05/2025 20:39

Do not tiptoe round him.
Go about your day as normal and if he complains tell him if he wants the quiet of an office he can fuck off to his!

RentalWoesNotFun · 15/05/2025 20:38

Compromise is key. Tell him to go work in the office a couple of days a week so you can blast loud music and not tiptoe around (even if you have no intention of doing that)

Sunnywithacoolbreeze · 15/05/2025 20:22

While this is easy for him it is causing difficulty for you. He should consider this and allow you some time alone in the house, particularly as he has access to an office..Don’t accept him prioritising himself.

Lifeisinteresting · 15/05/2025 20:21

I have an office I can go to but tbh prefer to work from my home office. Is it his company?

theriseandfallofFranklinSaint · 15/05/2025 20:18

If he has an office he can go to then I'd be ploughing on as normal on my days off. He'll be pissed off and soon head into the office on those days. Then he can WFH on the days you're in work - win/win.

loveyoutothemoonandtosaturn · 15/05/2025 20:16

This would do my head in too. I get secretly sad too when my hubby wfh on my days off. I can't get the hoover out or relax properly cos he's always 'there'. I usually tell him to feck off to the office and he's quite good at obliging.

rubyslippers · 15/05/2025 20:11

so to be clear, does his company pay for his office and know he isn’t working there?

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