DH wfh issues as it's our home!

Situations like this are compromise good and bad you only want the good bits

he can do the school runs ,washing and house stuff which is the upside but the downside is him being at home on your days off
he needs to use the office not the kitchen and you need to use the back door not the front

You should behave as usual in your own house. Vacuum, music, dishwasher, tv, washing machine, kids playing and shouting. He has an office to go to, if he wants to be home this is what home is like. If he wants a second empty house to work from then he has better start making some serious financial plans, but this house is the one his family lives in, key word is ‘lives’.

Why couldn't you just talk to him?

Be an adult and have that conversation. Accidentally on purpose tripping the WiFi is just avoiding actual communication

So if a man was at home and complianed he wanted ''me time'' and a women wanted to WFH as it was easier for her I presume she would be called unreasonable?

I'd just ask him if he would consider going to office on the 2 days I was at home. He could WFH other days.

I must confess to accidentally on purpose tripping the WiFi so dh decided that he should work from coffee shop on his wfh days. I couldn’t bear the constant under my feet of him on my days off (I work night shifts a lot) did my head in.

I wouldn't want ridged rules about when I could work from home if I had a dedicated office space and I wouldn't expect my wfh partner to expect me to be quiet in the home if I had somewhere else to go. You need to stop being quieter than normal and then he can decide if he's better going out to work.

If I hadn't already seperated from my husband before WFH became so mainstream, then I would have given us 6 months before I murdered him. There is something so claustrophobic to me about the idea of everyone being in the house together most of the time.

It’s a home first and office second. Sit him down and tell him this, and then crack on with how you’d normally behave.

Looks like you are stuck with this selfish man

So, let me get this straight… when you were on maternity leave, despite having an office a couple of miles away, he chose to work from home and then insisted you and your baby were quiet so as not to disturb his work?

He has an office he can go to.

Stop tip toeing around and just live. If he has a problem with the noise he can go to the office!

Dh has an office upstairs I prefer it as he doesn’t have the commute. I just do all my normal noisy/ jobs etc. if I am going to hoover or hammer a wall I will mention it but otherwise I just do as I please. Even when he worked inthe communal kitchen/dining area during lockdown I’d have told him to f of if he tried to tell me to keep the kids quiet.

Can't he shove off upstairs out of the way, I wouldn't put up with that, when DH wfh he either worked upstairs in the spare room or in the caravan on the drive

YANBU. Husband works mostly from home. I love it as he makes our lunches (twin toddlers, SAHM) on his lunch break. Says it helps him unwind! We never worry about being quiet. He puts headphones on for meetings, and claims nobody can hear us. If he ever asked us to keep the noise down, I would laugh and give him his get-to-the-office marching orders. (I would also not tolerate him sitting in the kitchen as I've enough people under my feet.)

I would not be trying to keep DC quiet when he can choose to go into the office.

Its only 2 days a week that he has to compromise on.

My husband WFH 3 days per week and goes into the office for the other 2 days. I don't restrict my life, by keeping quiet and avoiding certain activities, just because he's WFH. If he was in the office, it's open plan, he'd have others talking and other noise going on around him. In fairness my husband does wear headphones, whilst on calls etc.

Tell him he needs to use the office that’s being paid for once a week so you can crash around as much as you like in your own home. More in the school holidays.

Don't tiptoe around him. Make noise.

He will soon choose to go to his office and work from there.

I don’t get why you are being quiet , my husband wfh ft in a downstairs office off our hallway and I just get on with my day , music , tv whatever if he wants quiet for a meeting he shuts his door and puts headphones on . First and foremost it is our home not an office .

I wouldn't be tiptoeing around him. He'll soon get the message that if he chooses to work from home he either puts up with a modicum of noise OR he goes to the actual office he has, not far away. My DH has no choice but to work from home a large chunk of the time. We try not to disturb him massively but it's also our house so we don't tiptoe around him (kids do their music practice, they play), and he has to work through it.

The key question is have you actually raised this issue with your DH.

You’re not being unreasonable and a middle ground compromise would work. A few days in the office, a few at home.

I made my DH go back into the office 4 days a week. Two people at home all the time isn't healthy and the death of a relationship in many cases. Having to tiptoe around would make it unbearable. Does he at least leave the house for other things? I find men have the tendency to just stay at home which males it even worse WFH can end up making people unmotivated to go out in general I've found.

So you work part time and resent that your husband who works full time does so from home?

Have you actually spoken to him about this?

Don't do shitty things like turning the WiFi off hoover loudly while he's on a call, or deliberately send the dc in to interrupt him. It'll just cause resentment and won't resolve anything

Have an adult conversation, explain how you feel.

I might just do the hoovering, wash the crockery loudly etc and undertake any other noisy chores, that might push him back into the office!