DH wfh issues as it's our home!

He's being unreasonable if he's expecting you to keep your children quiet or tiptoe around on the days you're at home. He is the one who has an alternative option. It seems quite obvious that the best solution is for him to work from his office a couple of days a week.

What would happen if you just crack on with the noisy chores and let the dc make a normal amount of noise?

Surely he can sort out sound proofing, or a pair of AirPods for himself?

It’s reasonable to facilitate the working parent but they shouldn’t lose sight of what they’re working for either.

I just get so annoyed he's just sat there at the computer, he works hard of course, but does get a lot of free time as well. When I'm out at work, it's great he can do school runs etc but when I'm home it would be sooooo nice to have a bit of me time, do the chores, come in and out as I need to. My job is full on, demanding, so some respite would be lovely before I do my weekend job.

There are advantages to him WFH, he can pick up the children from school and you say he does things like put a wash on and go to the shop. If he goes back to the office he won't be able to do things like that and that means one or both of you are going to have to fit in those things after the working day if he goes back to the office and you'll have to make other arrangements for the school run.

Just go about your day as if he isn't there. He's in a separate room so it's not like he's in the living room and you're having to tiptoe around him there. I don't understand what the issue is. Has he complained about you doing chores and coming and going?
Just do what you want, when you want as if he isn't there. (Obviously don't blast out very loud music all day but apart from that I don't see why any of the rest of it is a problem).

Well he is clearly a selfish prick. No way would I have been trying to keep the kids quiet for him.

A house is a home. You shouldn’t have to be creeping around and walking on eggs shells especially with children. If your DH is ok with that, great.

If the noise is an issue for him then he can go and work in the work space offered to him else where.

You shouldn’t have to be conscious of your movements and noise levels in your own home like it’s a professional work space.

I have WFH for over 10 years. Look at the words - work from HOME.
When looking for a new home people don't think "ah, a place where I will work in quiet and have the right to impose other people in the family don't run the hoover round, do the laundry, watch telly, play music, talk, entertain guests"

They often look if the house will have a room where an office can be set up so they can work w/o being disturbed.

I stand by the definition of home being where a family live and get on with their day to day lives (noise and all).

Are there???

Sweet lord - i work from home 4 days a week. All be it my office is a 2 hour sometimes more drive away. We live on a farm as well as my husband is self employed. So there is noise, maybe different from office. I wouldn't expect my husband to stop doing anything at all during the day. My office is beside the kitchen too, but i have a door that closes as well as i have headphones. If noise is really excessive then its annoying however its rare. My cleaner here at the mo, i can hear the hoovering but i get on with it. Life cant stop at home either because your working

Well I would be as disruptive as possible tbh and if he complains say
"oh, I just thought you'd go to the office if you needed quiet!"

Just go about your normal business and activities.

I've WFH since 2009. Doing work at home has been common practice for over a decade. Depending on your job, for decades before that as well. It's not "widely accepted" at all.

There are men who don't even have their own front door keys let alone permission to wfh

If he’s self employed can he give up the office and build a home office in the garden? Then you both have your space but he’s around to do chores too?

I'm not sure why there's even a problem if their friend uses the WiFi???

Deliberately overheating the circuits and risking a fire overloading the circuits is just insane. The only thing that should be capable of doing that is multiple electric heaters all running at the same time. Standard appliances just don't pull enough power to overload 32amp circuits.

It sounds like @Muffinmam already has dodgy/dangerous wiring and is then fucking around playing stupid games with it at nighttime.

I think it's widely accepted that a home is a home, NOT an office.
If the family home is to become a quiet office environment (ie an office) then a serious discussion needs to happen.

OP's DH has the option of going somewhere else to work quietly, where do you suggest OP goes to enjoy being at home?

OP says "he knows this, yet still chooses to wfh"

Depends what his work is. Both DH and I work almost entirely from home. We work in separate rooms. There's no need for either of us to be quiet. We can vacuum, listen to music, etc.. We will try to be a bit less noisy if the other is in an important Teams call. If DD is home she knows to go to the other parent if she has been told one is in a meeting, but that only happens in an emergency anyway.

Unless he's on a series of professional calls from morning to night, I'd stop worrying about it and live your life.

There are an alarming number of posters who haven't realised their home also belongs to their husband and he can use it for whatever purpose he sees fit, including work, whenever he sees fit. They don't get to decide "it's a home, not an office".

The thing about working from home is that it is your home - you haven’t moved into his office. Make noise if you need to.

Same! There is not a chance in hell I'd tolerate a controlling partner who thought they were entitled to tell me whether I could be in my own home or not. I don't fucking think so.

The problem would arise if he expects OP not to use the home as she wishes when he's working there, and we need her to come back and clarify that.

This is...just extraordinary.

You didn't want your friend using your wifi all night but instead of talking to them about it, you would deliberately blow your own electric circuit by turning on appliances. Not even, you know, just turn the wifi off, but blow the circuit by turning things on.

And you recommend this as an example of how to handle situations.

Have you actually talked to him about this?

OP you don’t work part time- it’s FT when you’ve taken a reduction in hours to look after DC. Once you add up how many hours you work, look after DC and do anything house or family related, you’ll see you’re probably doing more hours than him.

YANBU at all. DH and I work out days WFH around each other so that both of us get at least one day at home alone each week. It's just so nice to get the place to yourself and if you have a DC and need to hoover and be in and out all day running errands the last thing you want is have to Shh and tiptoe around. Your DH is being a selfish arse.

I get the lack of me time. When I retired I got fed up with DH under my feet in the winter. I like peace and quiet. When he gets back from his trips out it's what have you done while I've been gone meaning chores. It grinds my gears. He hates the hoover so I do that while he's out when I'd rather be reading a book 😁.

Stand your ground carry on as normal. His office is two miles away, he could do half days in the office as a compromise.