DH wfh issues as it's our home!

Sounds like you are happy for him to do child care, school runs and DIY when he should be at work and that's seeped in to him thinking home and work are blended completely. You both need to be working on new expectations and new routines.

He has two screens set up in the kitchen? So he can make cups of tea and keep one eye on his inbox while he does other things takes the piss while you and the kids try to keep quiet so he doesn't lose his job ..... ?
You have the patience of a saint. Not only is he always there, he and his job are literally in your face all day on your day off. I would be so fed up with this.

Are the kitchen or the bedroom the only options available?
Is his company paying for the offsite space/storage? Could he negotiate a home office install in the garden.

I’d do whatever you normally do, make noise as you would, come and go. If he finds it intrusive the answer is clear.
On the rare occasion my DH worked from home he was in his office and I didn’t see or hear from him. I’d bring him a cup of coffee on occasion, but it didn’t stop me from getting what I needed done.

Why wouldn’t I? Our child and I have no other home to go to and we didn’t sign up to live in DH’s ‘office’ while his actual office sits empty. And before you say it’s his home too- yes, exactly, it’s a HOME before anything else, not an office.
before wfh became so wide spread and the norm , if I rocked with my kid in his actual office whenever I pleased and did whatever I wanted there, would it be acceptable? No! So why is it acceptable, and why some people (like op’s husband) feel even entitled to, work in other people’s living space however big that space is?

Usual noise levels, have your mum friends around for coffee once a week, let the kids 'escape' to him during calls and when he complains telling him he has an office which would solve the problem but you have no alternative space to carry out usual home activities.

You TOLD him? 🫤

Just refuse to stay silent or be deliberately quiet. I worked from home often , well before the lockdown too, and I would never have behaved like that.

If he worked in an office he wouldn't be in total silence.
Just get on with whatever you need to

You'refortunate to have a home office space - he just needs to keep the door closed.

Simple solution, get the key to his office and go there for a few hours of R & R !

Well you can't force him to the office but he can't demand that you fall silent all day at home while you look after your kids. Go about your day and your chores as normal. He can decide for himself whether the benefits of wfh while it's being used as a home outweigh the benefits of going into the office. It's work from home, and that's what happens at home.

Have you suggested (told him) this??

A friend had to wfh during covid, normally he is in the office Mon-Fri. His wife told me she was about to kill him, dc weren’t little, but she found it absolutely intolerable. Interestingly, my sil used to try to stay out of the house as much as possible because my db worked shifts. I can’t imagine what a total pita that was.

Can you (massively) encourage him to go to the office? I don’t see why you shave to restrict what you’re doing when he has a perfectly fine office.

He needs to remember that he is working from home not his family living at the office

Hi! So sorry you’re going through this- and there seems to be a mixture of responses too. You sound like someone who puts up with a lot of stuff but honestly from the advice I’ve gotten on here, if you’re not going to stand up for yourself then no one else will. Best bet is wait until you’re both calm and in good moods- maybe over a quiet dinner while DC is asleep- and then explain that you obviously love having him home with all the extra support but you’re struggling to keep noise levels down and don’t want him disturbed- is there any chance he can work from the office on 1 or 2 set days during the week?
Trust me, I need my space sometimes too and it’s infuriating when others don’t understand but the situation won’t get any better until you communicate- fingers crossed he’s understanding and agrees! Good luck! X

You're not unreasonable at all OP. My DH is exactly the same and I get it, I do, but our DD doesn't go to nursery on Mondays and I was really clear with him that on Monday he needs to either not be here or accept that she will be pottering in and out to see him and making noise. I wasn't going to fight a battle with her every week just so he could WFH.

He's got a home office and an office-office, yet he works in the kitchen when you are at home, trying to just live in your house? That would be a no from me.

It's your home ,not an office carry on as normal doing what you would normally do .
Don't keep the kids quiet
Make normal noise , pretend like he's not there
If he doesn't like it he has an office paid for

I would simply sit him down and say that half term and the school holidays are coming and the current arrangement isn't working for you, that you feel on edge constantly trying to keep noise down when the kids are about and in the nicest possible way, you haven't had the house to yourself in literally years so the odd day by yourself would be lovely. It's not personal, it's just nice to have the opportunity to be absolutely solitary and recharge your social batteries.

Frankly from a career perspective, unless the office is entirely solo with no colleagues at all, showing his face regularly would be sensible.

I think it's fine if he's stopping you from generally living your life to ask him to go to the office.

If it's not actually bothering him, and you're just being quiet and putting things off on the expectation he's going to ask you to be quiet, then stop doing that.

As an e.g., I work from home three days a week and on one of those my husband is also home. He can hoover everywhere with no issue as I have a headset that blocks out background noise, so I'd never tell him not to do so. I'd rather he used his words and told me he was bothered by me being there than quietly seethe as he adjusts what he thinks he can do while at home!