Loud DC and unhappy neighbour. Would you move?

I don’t really think that’s relevant. I do have real sympathy for your situation. But if those that rented the house that is attached to the house I own had a child that was screaming at 4:30 I would complain I’m afraid. That was hugely impact our life.
made there any things you could do to reduce the noise?

@YourMintReader you state on you other post that your kids sleep till after 7 in the morning yet on this post it is 4.30am?? what is it

An hour of screaming between 4:30 and 5:30 is going to be extremely difficult and stressful for your neighbors.
Are there any interventions that could prevent or limit this?
I also have a lot of sympathy for you as I am sure that your life will be difficult in many ways that your neighbors can’t imagine.

I mean most semi houses here have one double bedroom on a non attached wall and loads where once council.

Thats what op needs or to take her son downstairs.

I think you should ask to be rehoused. The accommodation is not suitable. 4am wake up call everyday for your neighbours must be hellish, and the anxiety and distress you must feel just as bad.

Or can the upstairs be reconfigured, so that his bedroom is on the outside wall? You might get support with this.

With all due respect, as you are HA, is it that easy for you to just move?
In my area, you’d be seen as suitably housed therefore not able to move so soon, even if it was mutual exchange?
Are the HA aware of your son’s disabilities before moving you there?
I would be upset if I was a private owner as it is an excessive noise to put up with. Also I totally feel for you OP, as your life sounds very hard and complaints like this doesn’t make you feel any better.
How old is your son? Is there really no way of regulating him at all?

What did you want her to do, wave her magic wand and conjure a nice detached house with no neighbours? Are you for real? FYI parents of very high-needs disabled children often aren’t rolling in spare cash.

You know what I mean. You said to others that you don’t stop him and get him up if he starts screaming and leave him to carry on.

I am really surprised you describe yourself as autistic but seem oblivious to it being a spectrum.

Not all autistic children have the understanding or control regarding the volume of their stims. It isn’t a parenting issue.

In all honesty it sounds like you could do a bit more then, particularly if her bedroom is adjoining his and he starts making noise at 4.30.

if you can’t/won’t swap rooms with him then you need to get him downstairs at 4.30, not waiting until 5.30. Or he needs to come into your room and you store your breakable items somewhere else.

I think you should also look into trying to get some sound proofing against the adjoining walls.

you can’t help your situation, but I think you have a responsibility to do everything in your power to minimise the impact on your neighbour.

Sounds like you're doing an amazing job in a difficult situation OP. Don't move if you like the house and area. Your boy will change as he grows and maybe he will become more settled in time. I get that she's not happy but you wouldn't have chosen to be in this situation either. At least she's getting more sleep than you are!

It sounds like the house isn't suitable for you. You need a house where the biggest bedroom is not adjoining a neighbour. This should surely be possible to find.

But is he on any medication at all? There are multiple solutions to at least make someone sleep through the night. I can't imagine how you can survive this.

This is so difficult, I work as a first responder so have to sleep random times and if I had a child screaming through a wall from 04:30-8:30 I'd pull my hair out, probably be reduced to tears myself.
I do sympathise with her but you've already said you can't stop the extent of the noise, so unless you buy a remote house (I know you said it's a quiet ideal location but it probably was for the buyer next door too...) sorry to be negative :(

BeEagerEagle
It is not always possible to stop a severely autistic child with associated learning difficulties to be quiet. My ds used to get up at 4, run around, make loud squeals etc and there was no way of preventing it. Don't move op. However I would look at what you can do as regards sound proofing. Is it a housing association? If so ask them for help.

Could you speak to an OT/social services and see if a dfg could be made available for any soundproofing? The HA won’t do this as they won’t have a budget to.

So are you saying that if you would the neighbour, you would happily be woken up at 0430 every single day?

OP says she does not disturb him when he starts at 4,30 and leaves him to scream for an hour.

I mean I’m sorry but if your child was waking me at 4:30am every day and you left them to make that noise I’d be on at the council every bloody day too.

You either take them somewhere not likely to affect a bedroom or have his bedroom on a non joining wall. Thats the compromise to being good neighbours not robbing someone of sleep at 4:30am every and leaving him for an hour till you decide to take him down.

With all due respect your son’s special needs are not your neighbours problem, and if her and her kids are struggling to sleep every single day due to your son waking them up every morning at 4:30am then reporting may be the last resort for them.

I am guessing that he is being woken up by the dawn sun - can you totally blackout his room so he sleeps a lot later?

Can you spend the money on putting a bathroom in to soundproof his room? I have a ND child so I sympathise, however if I was woken up at 0430 every day I would be at my wits end.