Loud DC and unhappy neighbour. Would you move?

This whole situation is really unfair for you and society should be kinder x

You can also contact soundproofing companies yourself. You can move the bed off the wall if at all possible.
Could you play some sort of white noise tk try and drown out the noise your son makes?

As i said... you clearly have no understanding of autism as she physically cant stop him stimming.

It not lacking in empathy to be annoyed about a 4.30am daily wake up that you have no control over. I'd be bloody furious if I was the neighbour. I understand OPs predicament but that doesn't change how annoyed I'd be. I get annoyed with my own kids waking up that early!

I had neighbour kids who egged my house, put dye in my pool, firecrackers in my mailbox, keyed my car, etc - their delinquency was endless and exhausting.
I would happily trade your noise for their awfulness any day, @YourMintReader.

Her neighbour isn’t a toss pot. Very reasonable to not expect a screeching child at 4.30 am.

Absurd to suggest swapping with her kid - you saying it’s ok for a teen to be woken up to screaming at 4.30am every day? Way to make your kid fail their exams.

No, dining rooms - if she has one - are not bedrooms, not everyone wants to sleep downstairs and that impacts the whole household too if one of their communal rooms where they eat together is turned in a bedroom.

OP is the one whose child is making noise during antisocial hours - she should make changes.

I hope the council can do something about soundproofing too because no-one should have to tolerate that.

They cant evict someone if its because a child has a profound disability. They may offer sound proofing via OT

You've not acknowledged the sound proofing idea.

Is there no other room, even downstairs, on the non adjoining wall?

How big is the specialist bed?

Nah its ok, I own my house so too much hassle to move.
My neighbours are my friends and have more empathy then the OPs toss pot of a neighbour.

She doesn’t want to move him from his bedroom, other people have suggested this

What a terrible situation for you OP. I do sympathise.

But equally you must see this is intolerable for your neighbours. They cannot live like this, nor should they have to. And they are clearly not going to let it lie if your HA has already been round to investigate- if you don’t act, you could end up being evicted.

You just investigate soundproofing asap and convey that to your neighbours. Might it be possible to get a grant? Can your DC reduce the time they spend in the garden by going to the park with someone, perhaps twice a week? If your neighbours and HA can see you’re trying, that will help.

And talk to the various autism, disability charities. Again, they might help with solutions or funding.

The comment about them working and saving is uncalled for. Owner occupiers and social housing tenants are both entitled to safe adequate housing.

OP’s options for working and saving are limited by her circumstances which isn’t her fault and plenty of people own because of intergenerational wealth rather than pure working and saving!!

I really feel for you OP. I understand how difficult life must be. However, if I was being woken at 4:30 am every single day I would also be complaining to the HA. Sorry. It must be hell for your neighbours, particularly if her teenagers are doing GCSEs.

You must look at sound proofing. That is the only viable solution. As a side note, if it's not possible to move your son's bedroom then maybe the house isn't the right one for you after all.

As I and several others have said, OP needs to enquire to SS to install soundproofing and stop leaving him to scream from 4.30. If she’s scared he’s going to break things in the living room and that’s why she leaves him she needs to wrap them up and put them away as others have suggested. This thread is full of excuses.

Why don’t you move next to each other seen as neither do you giving a flying fuck how you impact others. Perfect solution for you both and your neighbours

Swap with a kid, change her dining room around. Its her problem to solve.
OP doesn't have spare rooms either. One is too small and the other is hers.

OP, don't move and ignore her, enjoy your house and your garden.
Put your child first, always. Who cares what she thinks?!
I also have a non verbal child who stims. I honestly couldn't give a toss what any of my neighbours think. I try my best and thats what counts.
Stop taking in her parcels as well. Refuse them at the door.

For someone thats autistic you clearly have little to no understanding of any other type of autism except your own.

Her child is non verbal so will have very profound autism and cant just be told to stop screaming.

Move to what bedroom though? If it’s a 3 bed house and she has 2 older kids there’s no spare bedrooms. So unless she does a swap and inflicts the bedroom adjacent to Ops wall on one of her kids where can she move to?

Again can’t can’t can’t

how often is the overnight care? If it’s infrequent or actually even if it’s twice a week get a sofa bed for the carer and move you child away from the neighbours wall at 4.30!

what is so difficult for you to understand that leaving him to make noise at 4.30 am is completely unacceptable. You either find a solution or you’re gunna be evicted.

when you are inevitably asked what you are doing to reduce the noise and you have a plethora of reasons which are pretty weak not going to go well for you is it?

why cant she move her bedroom? shes the one with the problem