Loud DC and unhappy neighbour. Would you move?

See, that's the thing.
I don't really care about the impacts on their families. It is a known risk of having children. I chose to not take that risk and don't want to live the life by proxy because of where I happened to purchase property.

That sounds cold but it's a fact. We each only get one life here on Planet Earth and having to spend it in misery because of others' choices outside of our control is really unfair.

You have my deepest sympathy but that doesn't mean I or others want to share the pain. Presumably the love you feel for your child offsets the difficulties but those who are forced by proximity to deal with the difficulties don't have that as a mitigating factor. To them it's just noise.

Oh sorry, I misunderstood you!

But the neighbours are owners. Apart from the fact that selling and buying costs thousands, how will they be able to sell? Who would buy a house with those noise issues? And if they managed to only do viewings during the two quiet hours every day they would probably end up being sued for misrepresentation or something.

If I was being worn up at 4:30am by a child making noise (that may not grow out of it like a baby does) I would be very upset indeed. I wouldn’t wait for you to move, I’d move myself. And screaming during the day too, my goodness. Sounds unbearable for the neighbour.

I’d have thought it was quite clear. It’s not been a secret.

You really don’t have any understanding of what it’s like to live in that environment, and until you do - it would be best to keep shitty opinions to yourself.

I understand that the behaviour of some disabled children impacts the lives of those around them.

I would point out that the impact is definitely stronger for those in their house, family and life - some here could be more compassionate to that.

I would also point out that even when measures are taken to limit that, there’s very little that can be done to fix it. That’s just a realistic fact.

If there was a solution to late night/early morning noise, SEN parents would have found it by now - without the lecture from those who understand it far less.

Ahh you’re one as well..now I get it.

OP, I'm sorry I do not have any advice. But having read your posts - you have conducted yourself with incredible dignity in the face of some truly awful comments from others.

Her kid can wake me up at 4:30, I’m already up, being victimised by the kid who lives in this house.

So yeah. I probably would forgive her and her son, because I already forgive this one for something beyond his control.

Look with all due respect to you, it's actually you who is continually missing the point.

It's not the disabled child that is the problem per se, it's their daily behaviours, which are massively disrupting their neighbour's family's quality of life that are the problem.

Equally, the child isn't victimising the neighbours at all either, but nonetheless the neighbours are definitely victims of the child's behaviours.

Surely, this is obvious & clear.
This will be my last post on the matter.

It doesn’t offend me but the fact you clearly don’t have the capacity to understand how her kid causing that level of disruption is not her problem or responsibility to sort just demonstrates that you are just as entitled as she is. Bet you wouldn’t be a forgiving if you & your family were being woken up by this kid at 4:30 every morning. Thank god I don’t live like some have to

Oh have I got bad news for you.

You really should have read previous posts. We’re a between 1am and 3am household at the moment.

If you’re so happy to be up at 04:30 every day do everyone a favour and send OP your address, she can come live next door to you :)

She’s not inflicting anything. She’s living in a house with a disabled child who needs somewhere to live.

She’s not waking him up for an all night party to upset her neighbours.

She’s existing, in the house she lives in, with her child.

If that offends you, that’s on you.

The person making the noise IS the problem. That's a fact. They may be unable to help themselves but that doesn't mean it isn't their noise that is waking the neighbours and affecting their health.

Expecting the rest of the world to feel invested in the situation or understanding of the chaos and noise is just unrealistic. We all have our own lives to lead.

The DEFAULT in our society's residential neighbourhoods is quiet and consideration for others. Anyone unable to conform to that default is the one creating the problem. That's a fact, not a character judgment.

Grow up, inflicting distress by seriously affecting their quality of life & wellbeing. She is extremely selfish

Inflicted distress on them by needing to house her family somewhere. Okay. 😂

How widely would you like to miss the point?

I didn’t refer to a child as a problem, or anyone as a victim, I was quoting other posters who had and saying that they shouldn’t.

This is someone’s son we’re talking about. Referring to them as a problem, or suggesting that they’re victimising someone by existing in the only way they know how, is offensive IMO.

Victim doesn't imply intent. People are victims of floods, famines, car crashes - none of those have intent. They are victims of awful circumstances.

Ultimately the problem is the OP’s to sort; she inflicted this distress & disturbance on them so she needs to make sure she deals with it in a way as to return the ndn lives back to the comfort they enjoyed before she decided to move in & if that means moving then she should

A disabled child is only a 'huge problem' to neighbours ,as you put it, if their behaviours impact heavily on you & your families quality of life, etc.

Clearly, in this case being woken at 4.30am every morning is a huge problem, and the neighbours are then victims of this behaviour ( again if you wish to use this phrase).

Get over it, the neighbours have a right to their quality of life in their home, and to expect the family of the disabled child to do absolutely everything possible to mitigate the worst effects of this daily disruption I.e. lobbying the housing authority, willing to move to a more suitable property, sound proofing, furnishings, moving rooms , etc, etc, etc.

P.s I once lived beside a couple with a heavily disabled adult child. She was no bother, and they are a very devoted, loving & adorable parenting couple & family.

But they didn't wake us any night at 4.30am, or impact on us in any way whatsoever, except in admiring & really liking them as a family, perhaps, so it's a totally different scenario.

I think victim implies intent. The child in question sounds like he’s just being happy in his house at a time he’s awake, and the way he expresses that is difficult for others.

There’s no intent there.

When we get woken up it isn’t because he’s thinking “it’ll be a laugh to wake the adults up at 1am and make them sleep deprived.” He just is awake, and is responding in the only way he currently knows how. I’m not being victimised by someone medically unable to sleep, and neither is OPs NDN.

Disabled children can’t just change their behaviours or responses. You could change yours to something less unkind.

That was my point.

The PP said that the noisy children get bigger and stronger, and therefore more able to cause noise disturbance.

I was pointing out that of course they do, because people as a species… grow 😂.

Yes, because if the disabled child is the cause of the neighbours being unable to live in their house then it is a problem and they are victims.