Is this too much to eat in a day?

You are definitely not overeating, though 3 meals a day would be more nourishing and provide similar calories. If you are underweight you may need to eat a bit more which might explain the sugar cravings. A nutritionist may be able to advise re a diet that will work with your hormonal/gastro issues.

Is there anything else going on? It is a bit worrying that you describe yourself as disgusting, and that you have strict non-upf household rules for food then eat other food secretly. Also that you think you are eating too much when in fact you are underweight.

It's just not very healthy. Low on protein, vitamins, fibre, etc.

You've got a lot of sugar as you say.

You have had 2 portions of fruit and veg and both are 'starchy' carb ones - the banana and the peas.

You're also desperately short of calcium which will affect your bones long term.

And barely any fibre, other than the porridge , peas and banana.

So you're also deficient in Vit C.

You could drop the spuds with the fish cakes and have a portion of carrots and broccoli.

You could add blueberries and seeds to the porridge.

Your snacks could be an apple of a small portion of full fat plain yoghurt.

Do you seriously think this is a good diet?

It’s not a huge amount of food but it’s not very nutritious and I would say you need more protein, good fats, fibre and less sugar. Would you consider changing your diet to see if that helps with your gastro symptoms?

That would be too much chocolate / sugar for me, I think I would also feel a bit queasy

Do you have a very sweet tooth or can you reduce your sugar intake easily

Never call yourself disgusting.

I don't think is a lot of food but is is a lot of bad food. Half of what you have eaten is unhealthy. It doesn't really matter that a cupcake is homemade, it is still bad for you.

Not too many calories, but very stodgy/carb heavy. Everyone’s different but if I eat like that it makes me feel heavy and lethargic. I would eat much more fruit and veg - apples, berries, leafy greens etc. Nuts or seeds are good for a quickish boost.

FOcus on the nutrition. And also the self talk - you are NOT disgusting for eating kit kat and twirls in the car - we all do it (and don't you dare listen to the people who say they don't ... everyone slips or has a treat or gives in to temptation at some point).

Try making a change and see how that makes you feel - what about a protein breakfast instead of porridge. Eggs on toast or something similar, and see it that helps with energy.

you're doing great and you got this - it's HARD balancing everything and taking care of yourself.

Please don’t call yourself disgusting! It’s not easy for a lot (most) people to eat well all of the time. I would suggest trying to eat 3 or 4 meals per day, each meal to include 30g protein. Choose your protein & add at least 2 veg & some carbs too. Your daily calorie requirement will depend on your size & activity level and if you are eating to try to lose weight, gain weight or maintain. Nothing wrong with having the odd biscuit or chocolate (even every day!) but try to get some fresh fruit & veg in with the protein & you will probably feel less like snacking. Would you be able to pre prepare an evening meal to eat ? Eating at the same (similar) times each day is helpful to regulate your diet. It’s important to look after yourself , especially if you are responsible for looking after others. Hope this helps

You're not disgusting! Eating sugar makes the body want/crave more sugar, so it becomes a vicious circle.

You are absolutely not disgusting. And no, it’s not too much to eat in a day. Too much sugar, yes, but not enough protein or veg. Is there any way you can fit in another proper meal rather than all the snacking? If not then can you make breakfast a full meal instead rather than just carbs?

If you’re under weight then it’s not enough food. It’s certainly not enough nutrition.

Keep the treats if you like, there are worse things to eat. but add in more fruit and veg, nut and cheese.

Life sounds very stressful for you. Is this temporary, will dh be home earlier at other times or you get other support? If not are there any after school clubs or respite clubs Ds could go to sometimes?

You are probably being made ill through the stress of it all, it sounds relentless. Hope things improve

As others have said, it's not enough food, and too much chocolate and sweet stuff (no judgement; I eat a lot of sugary crap!)
Maybe try a more protein-based breakfast, like something with eggs? Or cheese, or something fishy if you can stomach it. I have toast – seedy/granary/nutty bread, because that's what I prefer, and I think it's more nutritious as well – with either salmon pâté and avocado or some kind of soft cheese, and find it quite filling.

Undiagnosed Coeliac disease maybe?

You feel as though you are overeating because you are snacking on little bits and pieces all day. You sound like me at the end of each day when I feel compelled to, almost, "confess" my 'overeating' to my partner (it drives him insane), and frequently use the words "because I'm disgusting". It does at least sound as though you are aware you have a problematic relationship with food and your body, just maybe it's not in the specific way your mind frames it.

You need to eat about twice the amount of fruit & vegetables (potatoes don't count) than you are at the moment.

Sorry I do agree with this (despite me giving her healthy snack ideas). I missed the part about eating the chocolate in the car.

Therefore I don’t think Mumsnet is the best pace for advice. There’s too many of the ‘1200 calories a day is fine’ brigade on here.

You're sending yourself on a blood sugar rollercoaster, it's going to make you feel awful and nauseous.

Even if you just changed your breakfast to something protein rich, it would help you out for the rest of the day. The porridge + banana is going to send you on a big spike first thing.

• halloumi and egg
• scrambled eggs with avocado
• steak and eggs
• courgette and egg scramble

No expert - but looks like sugar highs then crashes which must feel like living with a hangover (equally guilty)….
Try going cold turkey off sugar for a week - you will probably get a banging headache on day 3 but should get better from there

You could download the My Fitness Pal which is free ( although they have a premium version) Its very easy to scan the labels and it tells you exactly what all of that adds up to...how many carbs/protein/fat etc. They've got various types of diet plans... although it doesnt sound like you need to restrict calories at all. But perhaps get more nutrients and fiber out of the calories you do have.

I'd say that there doesn't seem to be a lot on the veggie front... Greens etc..
You could chuck in an avocado, some salad.. Peas aren't bad but they are are considered to be a starchy veg, if you have toast, try to have wholegrain/wholemeal.
Nothing wrong with the odd bit of choc,,, but you could try veering towards dark choc as Kit Kats choc is much higher in Sugar. or replace one of the snacks with fruit... ( maybe keep a stash of frozen fruit to have with greek yog and sprinkle with some nuts that would be very filling)

You could get a blood test to check for vitamin deficiency... and boost that with some supplements. I discovered i had really low Vit D and B12 for example and that is despite having food which is supposed to be high in them. And now take daily supplements and eating more protein, oily fish, tofu etc.
I make a breakfast shake or overnight oats with it. (Wellwoman) recently I noticed that my dry skin, thinning hair and brittle nails have really improved but it took at least six months. ( and I used to believe you could get all your vitamins from food)

It's good that you are looking into it. I hadn't tweaked my diet for years and info about this is getting better all the time.

Your blood sugar must be up and down like a yo yo, no wonder you feel sick by the end of the day, added to the stress of parenting!

Agree with others that it’s quality, rather than quantity that is the issue here. I would suggest making a meal plan that has more protein, healthy fats, fresh veg at regular intervals through the day - and trying to stick to it. If you have a helpful GP they might be able to refer you to a dietitian if you need more help with this. ChatGPT is great for ideas too!

Chalk it down to a bad day. Try to get lots of protein and fibre in tomorrow.

I'd switch out at least some of the cakes / chocolate for another proper meal of some kind. doesn't have to be heavy but currently it looks like the bulk of your calories are from junk so no wonder you feel not great.

So your days are at home waiting for DS to come back? No work, no exercise, no socialising?

Op sounds like you are trying to find happiness in sugar