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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend ignoring texts

106 replies

Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 14:44

Completely happy to be told I'm being unreasonable but would this bother you..
Been with new DP for several months and we talk almost every lunchtime, which is fine. Today I hadn't heard from him 30 mins into his break so I gave him a call. He didn't answer. Fine, I assume he's doing his hobby which he sometimes does at lunch. I text him saying nothing important, hope he's having a lovely day and I love him and I'll see him tonight. (We don't live together)
Anyway, he calls me for 10 mins before his break ends and he has been doing the hobby so all good. We speak and say see you tonight etc. After, I notice that he has read the 'nothing important ' text but not reacted to it at all. I just feel like I would never do that! I would never not acknowledge a message he sent me or anything, even silly memes I respond to.
OK, after writing this down I realise it sounds crazy! 😅 but would it upset you having the text ignored??

OP posts:
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SALaw · 17/05/2025 09:57

JFC

HandsFaceTeeth · 17/05/2025 09:48

I want to know what his hobby is

Cel119 · 17/05/2025 09:30

TheyFuckYouUpYourMamAndDad · 17/05/2025 09:21

@Cel119ahh sorry to hear about your mum and that my reply on here made you sad. Your mum and dad would have cherished those phone calls…I know I did 💖

The post didn't make me sad, sorry. Wrote that wrong. I guess i meant more of a bittersweet sadness.

LoveWine123 · 17/05/2025 09:25

Are you 12?

TheyFuckYouUpYourMamAndDad · 17/05/2025 09:21

@Cel119ahh sorry to hear about your mum and that my reply on here made you sad. Your mum and dad would have cherished those phone calls…I know I did 💖

Cel119 · 17/05/2025 08:40

TheyFuckYouUpYourMamAndDad · 15/05/2025 19:25

It’s unbelievable isn’t it, the angst that some posters allegedly feel over something as ridiculous as this?? 🤯

Me and my mates carried around a little note with the telephone number of our nearest (red) phone box. We would share this with friends and boyfriends, and arrange a time for them to call (Thursday at 6.30pm 🤣) to arrange the weekends entertainment ✊

It was a real ‘social event’ queuing outside that box…one person answering the calls and then yelling out the door, “It’s Billy, for Tracy…hurry up Tracy, he says he’s only got one 2p!!’ (Yep…2p per call, which lasted about 2 minutes before the beeps!!)

Ahhh, I’m feeling quite nostalgic now 😆

Show quote history

My mum told me that this is how her and my dad used to communicate when they were dating. Waiting by the phone box or vice versa. She died a year ago and it makes me feel quite sad to read this. My dad still remembers it. I think it must have made things more special in a way. Not constantly contactable.

MsDDxx · 16/05/2025 14:44

Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 14:46

For context, I feel like he should have at least 'heart' reacted it or sent some kisses faces 😅
Do I sound mad though?? I'm Peri so feeling completely unhinged now and again.

Yep…you’re mad 😆

I know what perimenopause can do to your mind though OP. Enjoy your boyfriend, who does sound lovely and attentive from your post.

Original poster
Atlas2022 · 16/05/2025 14:42

Cel119 · 16/05/2025 10:53

To be fair to everyone who was "mean", you did make a whole post on the fact your boyfriend didn't put an emoji react to a text.... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Show quote history

Oh that's OK then. Carry on. I deserve it 🙄

OP posts:
Cel119 · 16/05/2025 10:53

Atlas2022 · 16/05/2025 09:25

Thank you to those who posted understanding replies.
To those who were unnecessarily mean, I hope it makes you feel good to talk like that to people. It's mad how gleefully people feel the need to tell me how pathetic, insane I am and how much you feel sorry for my DP! God forbid we think about trivial things and ask others opinion on it.

To be fair to everyone who was "mean", you did make a whole post on the fact your boyfriend didn't put an emoji react to a text.... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Original poster
Atlas2022 · 16/05/2025 09:25

Thank you to those who posted understanding replies.
To those who were unnecessarily mean, I hope it makes you feel good to talk like that to people. It's mad how gleefully people feel the need to tell me how pathetic, insane I am and how much you feel sorry for my DP! God forbid we think about trivial things and ask others opinion on it.

OP posts:
heroinechic · 15/05/2025 23:00

I voted YABU because it sounds a bit nuts but I will concede that when DH and I were first together we spoke alllllllll the time.

So much changes once you live together/get married etc and you see each other all the time, you dont want to be in constant communication when you’re apart 😂

Cynic17 · 15/05/2025 22:52

OP, why do you need to contact him at all during the working day? There are very few things that can't wait until a better time.

Mrsmouse71 · 15/05/2025 22:44

Are you 12??

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 15/05/2025 22:15

Oh my goodness… I feel totally suffocated just reading this!

dollyblue01 · 15/05/2025 22:05

Listen you’ve just over analysed it, it’s normal in a new relationship, especially if you’ve had a previous bad one, just try and relax and keep busy when you feel
like that , until your rational self
kicks back in, we’ve all
done it and yes I speak to my Dp of three years lunch time ha

Jc2001 · 15/05/2025 21:47

Stickortwigs · 15/05/2025 14:51

It doesn’t require any response.

I wish WhatsApp would ditch those damn reactions. They’re so mindless. I have some chats where there’s a response on every message so they mean absolutely nothing.

Edit. Sorry misread

Someone2025 · 15/05/2025 20:03

Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 14:46

For context, I feel like he should have at least 'heart' reacted it or sent some kisses faces 😅
Do I sound mad though?? I'm Peri so feeling completely unhinged now and again.

.

SalfordQuays · 15/05/2025 20:00

What’s his hobby OP? I can’t stop wondering

TwistedWonder · 15/05/2025 19:53

Atlas2022 · 15/05/2025 14:46

For context, I feel like he should have at least 'heart' reacted it or sent some kisses faces 😅
Do I sound mad though?? I'm Peri so feeling completely unhinged now and again.

Honestly until I read this comment I thought you were very young and inexperienced as I really sounds quite teenage drama over nothing.

Id say calm down before you do his head in if you like this guy and want a future.

NoSoupForU · 15/05/2025 19:53

Wow you sound awfully full on. I mean if he's happy being under such firm rule regarding texts then fine but nothing in this world would persuade me to tolerate that sort of demand.

Flowby · 15/05/2025 19:51

I feel bad that you’ve had your arse handed to you here op. Although I do agree that you’re acting a bit nuts. You will drive him away with this behaviour.

My DH is not a texter. At all. If I text him anything during the day he’ll eventually phone me to reply when he gets chance. I’ve never once even thought about him ‘reacting’ to my messages.

In the nicest possible way, put the phone down and step in to the real world! You know, the one where we actually interacted with each other properly?

Jabberwok · 15/05/2025 19:45

He needs to run. Now. And definitely never buy a rabbit.

DeniseSecunda1 · 15/05/2025 19:43

If you keep this up, you won’t have a boyfriend much longer.

IttttttssssME · 15/05/2025 19:41

You’ve spoken to him why the need to have him respond to texts. Leave him to his day and get on with yours then when you meet you’ll have stuff to chat about

TheyFuckYouUpYourMamAndDad · 15/05/2025 19:25

RosaMoline · 15/05/2025 15:35

2% think you’re not unreasonable! 😳
I don’t think people in relationships in today’s day and age can appreciate the struggle of my generation. Way before mobiles, we had to wait by a landline phone, staring at it, willing it to ring…and when it did it was ‘mummmmm I’ll get it!!’ only to be disappointed when it wasn’t your beloved after all 😭

It’s unbelievable isn’t it, the angst that some posters allegedly feel over something as ridiculous as this?? 🤯

Me and my mates carried around a little note with the telephone number of our nearest (red) phone box. We would share this with friends and boyfriends, and arrange a time for them to call (Thursday at 6.30pm 🤣) to arrange the weekends entertainment ✊

It was a real ‘social event’ queuing outside that box…one person answering the calls and then yelling out the door, “It’s Billy, for Tracy…hurry up Tracy, he says he’s only got one 2p!!’ (Yep…2p per call, which lasted about 2 minutes before the beeps!!)

Ahhh, I’m feeling quite nostalgic now 😆