Mayflower primary school - nappy changing facilities for school aged children

I wonder what happens to kids like mine in other countries? I am trying to potty training my three year old who has a speech delay (just one words only at the moment) and possibly on the spectrum. He sits on the potty but nothing yet. I have a feeling he won't be ready and potty trained before school nursery. You can only keep trying. Should he be denied school nursery because he won't be likely be ready? I know in Spain they have to be dry at two so he would miss out. Some kids just take a while. My daughter wasn't poo trained until six.

I don't know but I have read on here that France is not great with kids with disabilities but that might just be anecdotal
It would interesting to me as a parent with a disabled child to see what kind of provision I could expect in a similar European country

I don't think that's how people look at it. they are hoping the nursery or school will do the hard work part before it comes to changing a 9 year old.

I wonder if SEN is funded better in those countries? Early intervention, shorter waiting lists, earlier diagnosis, earlier support etc.

Fair enough but I'm just saying those kids are probably special ed because no neurotypical school age child is going to be happily pooing in front of their classmates. No matter how lazy and sweary your friends are I doubt their worse parents then the literal heroin addicts and alcoholics I know who still managed to potty train their school age children. It's really not difficult to potty train a neurotypical 4 year old.

Majority of children in nappies at school will be special ed.

A few posters here have said they are not seeing the same things in European nurseries, the social norm is to toilet train younger, and they are seeing the usual number who have serious issues that prevent it. Other children, including those with SEN, are trained when they get there.

I suppose there could be more who are being diverted, but it doesn't seem evident.

I do.understand to.some extent I also live in a very deprived areas on a council estate ,there will always be some feckless parents who.just don't care but I think they are mostly in the minority most of the parents I see do toilet train their kids despite not being ideal.

Well unless you come and visit me and see it for yourself you won’t know what I see, will you? I’m only saying what I’ve seen.

I know literal children of heroin addicts and alcoholics who knew to go to the toilet at school age. No matter how lazy/incompetent a parent is no normal developing school age kid is going to want to poo themselves in front of their classmates. In fact I'd say 99% of kids still in nappies at school have special needs.

You know someone lazy who swears and think that's the reason the kid is still in nappies, come on I know alcoholics who drag their kids round pubs every moment and the kids still know to go on the toilet.

And I say all this as someone who's kids were potty trained at 2 so not looking to make "excuses"

My 7 yr old potty trained just over 2 and was a reusable nappy baby. I thought that might be why. His sister who is almost 4 was in disposables from a year old as when I went back to work I was too exhausted to keep up with the laundry. She also potty trained just past 2. I think it's just child dependent

I read an article a good while ago that one of the reasons children are being toilet trained later is that children are unable to tell when they are wet because of disposable nappies. When terries were used children could feel that they were wet and uncomfortable and so this helped with potty training. Don't know if it is true but it is an interesting theory.

My son has no learning disabilities though I was originally told to expect that when things were more unknown. He had cancer which caused a bowel obstruction which caused septic shock and multi organ failure including a cardiac arrest for 20 minutes.

He now can't walk due to nerve damage and muscle damage caused by sepsis, he almost had to have his leg amputated and his bowel has never worked the same since leaving him incontinent as well as unable to absorb food like he used to which means he needs medication or everything would just go right through him, the medication makes it slightly better.

It's tough, I never in a million years thought that a trip to the hospital for suspected dehydration due to a tummy bug would actually mean a 10 month stay in hospital and all of this happening but I'm so grateful that he's still here and any parent, no matter if it's at birth or 8 years old is likely going to feel the same.

Life is different, it is harder but it's still life with my son in it and it is much better than the alternative of not having him here at all.

Well.exactly ,
My son didn't suddenly become disabled but he had a normal birth with no apparent disabilities, it was only when he failed to meet his milestones we realised there was a problem ,he was diagnosed with autism and learning disabilities at three and his needs are very complex he's 15 but cognitively around 2/3
But by the time we found out he was very much loved child
Nobody thinks they are going to have a child with disabilities but when it happens most parents still deeply love their children

People also forget that children can also suddenly become disabled at any age through accident or illness.

My son was perfectly healthy until he was 8 and then all of a sudden he wasn't. I bet pp would soon change their tune if their child became disabled overnight which is exactly what happened to my son.

Most working parents would have had the nursery or childminder to ask advice from. Or if not, the family members providing the childcare could take the child to the health visitor/sure start.

There will always be a small number of children who are the victims of lazy parenting but most children going to mainstream school still in nappies will be children with SN.

The criteria for children getting a place at special needs school is really strict these days. My son has autism and the emotional development of a toddler but he is going to mainstream secondary school in September because he doesn't meet the criteria for special needs school and the LA fought us every step of the way when we got his ehcp.

So what you're saying is that we should kill disabled babies as they don't deserve to live? There's no arguing with someone who holds that opinion, it's disturbing to say the least.

I suppose you don't extend it to children, adults or old people, just innocent babies.

The ones who have been here with a parent, the parent will just do it as we arrive home from school. One just did it in the middle of the sitting room, pulled down the pull up from under her skirt and put another one on. The child just stood there chatting.

One did a poo at a soft play party told his mum and she went off and did it. She didn’t seem to traumatised by it.

I don’t think they are rolling round in shitty nappies fighting changes like a 12 month old.

I don’t know why they aren’t using the toilet. But from the parents I know, I can guess. The parents can’t be arsed to take them, they would rather just rip off a pull up and shove another one on that get off their arse. A lot of these children aren’t spoken to other than to be yelled at to fuck off.

There were a few still in nappies last September when they started reception, the parents were all very vocal about the school being on at them to potty train.

When I’ve been volunteering at the school, I’ve had a couple of children tell me they need changing (and you can smell it), and I tell a TA and they take them off.

Not seen it in the last couple of months though, so I think most are out of them now.

This thread is awful

So if they know they need to be changed why are they not taking themselves off to the toilet?
Once they are aware it's pretty easy to say go to the toilet ?
Trust me it's not a walk in the park changing the nappy of much older child it really idnt.

Could you imagine being faced with giving birth to a 22/23 weeker? You’d do anything to save them. In that moment, you wouldn’t be thinking about future needs and possible issues. You would just be consumed with love and the need to protect and have them live.

It's common sense.

What a vile attitude.

Surely it has to be a combination of factors?

More SEN kids in mainstream schools
And
Nappies being too good that kids don't feel uncomfortable in them?

Back in the day, Mums wanted kids out of terry nappies because of the washing.
Mums are turning to forums who often say they'll do it when ready.

I think schools should be inclusive of the needs of all children that attend, so if that means having appropriate facilities for changing a child then I think that's a good thing. There are many reasons why a child may not be toilet trained by the time they start school, none of which are the fault of the child.

If people are so outraged about children still being in nappies when they start school maybe they should write to their MPs about the need to appropriately fund things like the health visiting service so people can access help with things like toilet training quickly, rather than having to wait weeks and weeks. Funding also needs to be increased to support young children who do not meet the high needs threshold of services like Portage, and waiting lists considerably shortened for SEN assessment and support for preschool children to give them the best chance when they start school.