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AIBU?

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Original poster

Christening

155 replies

BB333 · 14/05/2025 21:30

just to clarify I’m an atheist, DP is quite a devout Catholic.
came down this morning to my DP telling me the vicar had msg’d him the available dates for our DD christening/ baptism. I said that’s fine and will give my family members the dates and see what everyone can do.
Ive had no say in the day, which, as an atheist I’m not too bothered about, but it means a lot to my DP so have let him have control.
DP come home and I was very excited to tell him that lots of my family (some of which live 5 hours away) could all make a certain date.
i started mentioning the relatives names ie, Aunty and Uncle so and so.

DP then turns round and says that he wants only immediate family to attend. He didn’t stipulate this. He’s now expecting me to call all these relatives up and tell them they’re not invited.

im so upset. I’ve told him that I think he’s being really horrible about it. I was really looking forward to seeing my family and having a a lovely day of celebrating even though I’m not religious. It’s not a matter of money as my Dad is paying for the day.

AIBU to be this upset?

OP posts:
Original poster
BB333 · 14/05/2025 21:49

Sycamoretrees · 14/05/2025 21:41

He's being really unkind, and unreasonable. Has he given a reason for feeling this way? He needs to give his head a wobble and get over himself. You have just as much right to invite people as he does.

He said I should’ve ran it past him who I was planning on inviting as he was only intending it to be close family. He don’t tell me that though. I assumed when he said for me to message my family that he would know that would include aunties and uncles etc. especially as I don’t see a lot of them due to distance.
if he had said that he only wants it to be immediate family at the time I still would’ve said I think he’s being mean, but it would’ve saved the issue of now, potentially uninviting family.
Ive told him if he doesn’t want my family members there then he needs to call them personally and tell them. I’m washing my hands of the situation I’m that upset about it.

OP posts:
HuffleMyPuffle · 14/05/2025 21:46

He can't stop them coming the service...

ExtraOnions · 14/05/2025 21:45

In the Church, whoever wants to go can go .. it’s an open space. I’m a steward at our Catholic Church, and we don’t act like bouncers on the door

(btw.. Vicars are CoE, we have Priests)

Sycamoretrees · 14/05/2025 21:41

He's being really unkind, and unreasonable. Has he given a reason for feeling this way? He needs to give his head a wobble and get over himself. You have just as much right to invite people as he does.

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 14/05/2025 21:32

I would just tell him I don't agree to the christening then, you're allowing it for his benefit, but he's not allowing you to invite your own family.

He needs to compromise or its not happening.