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Original poster

This happened to me at the weekend and I feel ashamed I did nothing - Racism

432 replies

Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 13:56

I was at a car boot sale at the weekend and there was a large stall there- that was a man and wife- selling 'fill a bag' type stuff - they were a house clearance company avoiding paying dumping fees I think

There was a lady there who was wearing a headcovering, she kept going behind the stall and they kept shooing her out
The man said in a sort of 'I'm muttering but loud enough for everyone to hear' way - he said "They're like rats, it might help if we stop giving them everything"
I was really shocked and just walked off but I feel really ashamed I didn't tackle it

What can I say if I find myself in this position again? I do not want to stand by and let it happen- I feel embarassed of being a coward

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 16/05/2025 15:41

MiloMinderbinder925 · 16/05/2025 15:33

I haven't been surprised by it. It's very common.

An American woman called a 5 year old autistic child the N word and people blamed the child and sent the women thousands of dollars in solidarity.

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What?!?!
Link to this story please.

Original poster
Changedusernameforthis2 · 16/05/2025 15:39

MiloMinderbinder925 · 16/05/2025 15:33

I haven't been surprised by it. It's very common.

An American woman called a 5 year old autistic child the N word and people blamed the child and sent the women thousands of dollars in solidarity.

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Wow

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 16/05/2025 15:33

Changedusernameforthis2 · 16/05/2025 15:27

Yes I've been really surprised by it.
Total denial of literal googleable racist tropes widely discussed and a matter of fact.

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I haven't been surprised by it. It's very common.

An American woman called a 5 year old autistic child the N word and people blamed the child and sent the women thousands of dollars in solidarity.

Original poster
Changedusernameforthis2 · 16/05/2025 15:27

ClareBlue · 16/05/2025 11:53

The minimising and trying to rationalise obviously racist behaviour on this thread is so depressing.
Do people actuall really think saying 'THEY are like rats' and 'giving THEM everything' to someone dressed in typically none western clothing and with a head scalf is not a racist comment.
Her behaving badly - not the point of the post and not an excuse or reason to be racists, so stop trying to say it is.
Saying 'they' refers to car boot attendees - seriously? What could possibly lead to that thought process when it's followed up with 'stop handing everything to them'. There's no perception of car boot attendees getting everything handed to them. Since when is that a thing? That perception is only in two contexts- International Protection/asslylum or social welfare recipients.
Where you think one person has behaved badly and then label everyone from their race or assumed background as rats and scroungers. That's about as ingrained racism as you get.
The excuses and bizarre alternative interpretations on here to minimise racist behaviour are disgraceful and just so depressing, tbh.
The question was how to deal with it as a non involved party. I think there is general support for calling it out.

Yes I've been really surprised by it.
Total denial of literal googleable racist tropes widely discussed and a matter of fact.

OP posts:
ClareBlue · 16/05/2025 11:53

The minimising and trying to rationalise obviously racist behaviour on this thread is so depressing.
Do people actuall really think saying 'THEY are like rats' and 'giving THEM everything' to someone dressed in typically none western clothing and with a head scalf is not a racist comment.
Her behaving badly - not the point of the post and not an excuse or reason to be racists, so stop trying to say it is.
Saying 'they' refers to car boot attendees - seriously? What could possibly lead to that thought process when it's followed up with 'stop handing everything to them'. There's no perception of car boot attendees getting everything handed to them. Since when is that a thing? That perception is only in two contexts- International Protection/asslylum or social welfare recipients.
Where you think one person has behaved badly and then label everyone from their race or assumed background as rats and scroungers. That's about as ingrained racism as you get.
The excuses and bizarre alternative interpretations on here to minimise racist behaviour are disgraceful and just so depressing, tbh.
The question was how to deal with it as a non involved party. I think there is general support for calling it out.

ilovesooty · 16/05/2025 11:35

thepariscrimefiles · 16/05/2025 11:24

It's not racist to stop her going behind the stall. It is racist to refer to this person (singular) as 'rats' (plural) by saying 'they're like rats, it might help if we stop giving them everything'. It's obvious that he was talking about all the people of this woman's nationality and religion and attributing the poor behaviour of one woman to all her compatriots and fellow Muslims. That is racist.

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Agreed.

RumAndDietCoke · 16/05/2025 11:27

I wouldn’t have said anything OP so don’t feel too bad. Anyone like that is likely to be an extremely nasty and ill educated individual who could get aggressive with you. Although it’s good you felt empathy, it’s best to think of your own safety. Maybe in the future you could think about engaging with the person experiencing the racism instead?

thepariscrimefiles · 16/05/2025 11:24

indianques · 14/05/2025 14:20

I agree Op, if she had a head covering it was very racist for the stall holders not to allow their stuff to be stolen. People with headscarves should be allowed to do anything they want. If not we are bigots. 🙄

It's not racist to stop her going behind the stall. It is racist to refer to this person (singular) as 'rats' (plural) by saying 'they're like rats, it might help if we stop giving them everything'. It's obvious that he was talking about all the people of this woman's nationality and religion and attributing the poor behaviour of one woman to all her compatriots and fellow Muslims. That is racist.

Ilovecakey · 16/05/2025 07:58

Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 14:43

I do know it was racist, and I can do both surely? I can march and also tackle at a smaller level when I personally hear it?

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So it's fine to call Muslims rats but not Jews? Are you serious? Surely it's wrong to be racist to anyone? You know damn well the man was being racist!

Ilovecakey · 16/05/2025 07:56

User46576 · 14/05/2025 14:40

If you want to tackle overt racism op, there are weekly hate marches full of antisemitic slogans and speeches in every major city in the uk. We Jews are attacked and intimidated on a daily basis just for going about our business. My daughters are told to cover their uniform as it shows they go to a Jewish school and girls have been violently attacked by antisemites.

Join one of the organizations that stands with us against violent racism. Protest the hate marches and all those who support them (like Gary Linekar who actually posted something calling Jews rats). That would be much more effective than telling off a man who made a comment that you don’t know is racist or not.

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I'd rather stand for Palestine

scorpiogirly · 15/05/2025 21:36

The virtue signallers are out in force tonight 🤣

scorpiogirly · 15/05/2025 21:36

The virtue signallers are out in force tonight 🤣

JHound · 15/05/2025 21:27

Panterusblackish · 15/05/2025 21:10

What further explaining is there to do?

I assumed that the man behind the stall meant they live like rats and that they want things given to them referred to the 'bargain hunters' who frequent car boots, hector to pay almost nothing and include those who go into areas they are not supposed to perhaps with ill intent.

The OP thought the man meant brown or Muslim people.

None of us can possibly know what was in his head and there's no point speculating.

All this does is give us an insight into how the OPs mind works and how she interprets things, not the man in question.

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But who is “we” and what are we giving “them”?

CleverButScatty · 15/05/2025 21:24

Panterusblackish · 15/05/2025 21:10

What further explaining is there to do?

I assumed that the man behind the stall meant they live like rats and that they want things given to them referred to the 'bargain hunters' who frequent car boots, hector to pay almost nothing and include those who go into areas they are not supposed to perhaps with ill intent.

The OP thought the man meant brown or Muslim people.

None of us can possibly know what was in his head and there's no point speculating.

All this does is give us an insight into how the OPs mind works and how she interprets things, not the man in question.

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Yeah, okay, because lots of people are given things at car boots and I er enthusiastic car boosters are often referred to as rats.

But this is not terminology ever used to refer to immigrants, minorities...

Panterusblackish · 15/05/2025 21:10

CleverButScatty · 15/05/2025 20:50

If we didn't give 'them' everything...care to explain?

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What further explaining is there to do?

I assumed that the man behind the stall meant they live like rats and that they want things given to them referred to the 'bargain hunters' who frequent car boots, hector to pay almost nothing and include those who go into areas they are not supposed to perhaps with ill intent.

The OP thought the man meant brown or Muslim people.

None of us can possibly know what was in his head and there's no point speculating.

All this does is give us an insight into how the OPs mind works and how she interprets things, not the man in question.

CleverButScatty · 15/05/2025 20:55

Sadly I think people are being more openly racist than ever.
I went to donate some clothes to a charity shop. The lady in front of me was brown skinned, had a head covering and it was clear was struggling to communicate with the volunteer, it was clear her English wasn't yet fluent but she was trying her best, and the volunteer had quite a broad accent which I think made it harder.

After a couple of failed attempts to get her to do a gift aid form she looked very confused and stressed. She paid and left, and the volunteer turned to me and said 'they have no manners that lot'. I think what bothered me most was her assumption that most white people would agree with her.
I walked out and took my clothes elsewhere to donate.

CleverButScatty · 15/05/2025 20:50

Anyotherdude · 14/05/2025 14:23

Oh God! I did a car boot sale - once.
It was years ago, but my overriding memory was of being surrounded by eager bargain hunters before we even stopped the car - it felt like being in a safari park with the car covered in lions, or a zombie movie🤣🤣🤣
Unpacking was a nightmare, and the cheek of some people grabbing stuff from us as we tried to work on putting it out on our table! Never again…
OP if the guy was feeling like I was, I suspect his “they” was aimed at CF punters (which she was behaving like) and not necessarily racially invoked…

If we didn't give 'them' everything...care to explain?

Whatevernext9 · 15/05/2025 19:19

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 15/05/2025 16:55

I've just googled "Prosecco Stormfront" - didn't know it was a descriptor so widely in use for the 'ism's' and 'phobias' of Mumsnet!

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Hilarious - have also just googled and found some gems. Including someone who studied a thread for A level English.

TempestTost · 15/05/2025 18:07

I wouldn't beat yourself up OP.

I do tend to think it was a racial comment, though it may be that they have had a continual problem with newly arrived immigrants doing things like that. Which is mainly because of differernt customs and language issues in my experience, but it can be frustrating and people sometimes allow that to get the better of them. Still an arsehole thing to say.

That being said, I don't think you are obliged to speak up in cases like that. It's not wrong today something either like "that's an arsehole comment" but it's not likely to change anything about the interaction for the woman in question, so I think it's not something you have to do.

In addition, it's often such a surprise when people say dickish things like that, that you don't know what to say in the moment, and then the moment passes.

JHound · 15/05/2025 18:00

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 15/05/2025 16:55

I've just googled "Prosecco Stormfront" - didn't know it was a descriptor so widely in use for the 'ism's' and 'phobias' of Mumsnet!

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Ha ha ha! So I just Googled after reading your post.

It really is the site’s reputation! 😄

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 15/05/2025 16:55

JHound · 14/05/2025 15:56

I know somebody who refers to MN as “Prosecco Stormfront”.

Reading some of these comments I see why.

Are people incapable of objecting to somebody’s behaviour without racism and dehumanising language?

Edited

I've just googled "Prosecco Stormfront" - didn't know it was a descriptor so widely in use for the 'ism's' and 'phobias' of Mumsnet!

Dangermoo · 15/05/2025 16:54

Goady 🥱

nomas · 15/05/2025 16:53

“They're like rats, it might help if we stop giving them everything"

As white people are the biggest recipients of benefits and as immigrants as a whole benefit the economy, would the racists like it if
people started calling white people rats that we need to stop giving everything to? No, they wouldn’t. So let’s not normalise saying nasty things about any community.

scorpiogirly · 15/05/2025 16:46

ScrewedByFunding · 14/05/2025 14:04

And by this I mean, you say she kept going behind the stall, presumably where their cash and personal belongings were and they were telling her to stop and she wasn't listening.

Granted it wasn't a nice comment but I didn't relate that to race.

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This. And she sounds like a CF.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 15/05/2025 16:43

FrodoBiggins · 14/05/2025 15:40

"do you think it is worse to call someone a rat or to invade private space despite being told not to do so."

What a stupid question. As PP said, it sounds like a weirdly large (and weird) chunk of posters today think it's OK to be racist if someone is rude.

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I think those posters think it's fine to be racist even when the brown/Moslem etc person is not rude