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Original poster

This happened to me at the weekend and I feel ashamed I did nothing - Racism

432 replies

Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 13:56

I was at a car boot sale at the weekend and there was a large stall there- that was a man and wife- selling 'fill a bag' type stuff - they were a house clearance company avoiding paying dumping fees I think

There was a lady there who was wearing a headcovering, she kept going behind the stall and they kept shooing her out
The man said in a sort of 'I'm muttering but loud enough for everyone to hear' way - he said "They're like rats, it might help if we stop giving them everything"
I was really shocked and just walked off but I feel really ashamed I didn't tackle it

What can I say if I find myself in this position again? I do not want to stand by and let it happen- I feel embarassed of being a coward

OP posts:
uhOhOP · 14/05/2025 15:03

There are a lot stupid/racist people on this thread, OP.

Dweetfidilove · 14/05/2025 15:02

Picklepower · 14/05/2025 14:19

You really think he said 'it might help if we stop giving them everything' was in reference to one woman who kept going behind his stall? How would that make sense

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if we stop giving them everything

I wonder what it is as well that he keeps giving to 'rude people' that causes them to keep coming behind his stall.

Original poster
Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 15:02

ilovesooty · 14/05/2025 14:58

That's ridiculous. Of course she shouldn't have been going behind the stall but if those words were spoken that was quite obviously a generalised comment aimed at her ethnicity.

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whataboutery has caused so many problems- 2 things can be true- she can be an annoying woman AND the man was racist which is also not ok

The vermin language is totally unacceptable- those saying it isn't, I urge you to go into work and talk about a group of people and call them rats. you know what would happen. It isnt tolerated

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 14/05/2025 15:01

Ddakji · 14/05/2025 14:23

God, the minimising here! Chasing her away from behind the stall is one thing (and fair enough) but his disgusting comment was clearly about her being a Muslim, as him making a comment about immigration. Clearly. And you all know it.

Of course it was. We've seen a lot more of this denial on Mumsnet in recent months too.

Original poster
Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 15:00

User46576 · 14/05/2025 14:57

I think you need to calm down. No one is bullying you. People don’t have to go along with your narrative or opinions. We can disagree.

your opinion is that it was racist speech - mine is that it wasn’t or at least you don’t know if it was.

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it was- I was there and some others saw it and moved away too

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 14/05/2025 14:59

Myblueclematis · 14/05/2025 14:44

I did a boot sale with a friend, our first time. We lost quite a bit of stuff as the minute we opened the boot of the car there were hands going everywhere. It was almost impossible to keep them away.

The next time (the last time) we did one, we sat in the car and read the paper and drank a coffee until the locusts had moved away, then we got out and unloaded the car without too much hindrance.

Careful. According to @familylawyer01392, the word "them" is racist and othering. Whatever that is. "Locusts" will probably have them calling Prevent on your ass.

ilovesooty · 14/05/2025 14:58

indianques · 14/05/2025 14:20

I agree Op, if she had a head covering it was very racist for the stall holders not to allow their stuff to be stolen. People with headscarves should be allowed to do anything they want. If not we are bigots. 🙄

That's ridiculous. Of course she shouldn't have been going behind the stall but if those words were spoken that was quite obviously a generalised comment aimed at her ethnicity.

Anyotherdude · 14/05/2025 14:57

Ddakji · 14/05/2025 14:53

Apparently, if it looks like a shit and smells like a shit, some MNers will still insist it’s a rose in full bloom.

And stirring it to cause someone to look bad to millions who weren’t there, have turned some other MNers into masters of their art.

User46576 · 14/05/2025 14:57

Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 14:51

it was racist speech that I do not agree with

Stop trying to make me look strange saying I've spent days ruminating. I haven't, Ive been considering what to say if it happens again.
The bullying and hectoring on this thread is unbelievable- totally understand different viewpoints but the way they have been expressed has been with a real sense of barely held in rage. scary

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I think you need to calm down. No one is bullying you. People don’t have to go along with your narrative or opinions. We can disagree.

your opinion is that it was racist speech - mine is that it wasn’t or at least you don’t know if it was.

GeorgianaM · 14/05/2025 14:55

This reply has been deleted

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User46576 · 14/05/2025 14:54

Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 14:47

This was real racism - sadly there is more than enough to go round

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Start with the most serious then. The weekly race hate marches and protests supporting a racist terrorist organizations called hamas. Go protest their behavior. They even do it outside of Jewish schools and community groups and insist on going past our synagogues to harass us. These are genuinely violent racist extremists and I haven’t been to the town Centre on the weekend for over a year because of them.

If you genuinely want to stand against racism- start there.

MichaelandKirk · 14/05/2025 14:54

I think you are trying to make something out of nothing and being professionally outraged. What has having a headscarf on got to do with poking around the back of the stall. Even if you didnt speak a word of English hand signals would show you that you shouldnt be behind the table.

And yet she came back again and again. I did a boot sale once. Agree with PP, they are swams of people around as soon as you park up.

Ddakji · 14/05/2025 14:53

Apparently, if it looks like a shit and smells like a shit, some MNers will still insist it’s a rose in full bloom.

Original poster
Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 14:52

This reply has been deleted

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Don't hector and bully instead of having a proper conversation

OP posts:
Midnightlove · 14/05/2025 14:52

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Original poster
Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 14:51

User46576 · 14/05/2025 14:48

It’s puritanical to spends days ruminating on a throw away comment a random man made because you think it might have been the wrong kind of speech. Leave him alone. You don’t know for sure what he meant and he didn’t hurt anyone.

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it was racist speech that I do not agree with

Stop trying to make me look strange saying I've spent days ruminating. I haven't, Ive been considering what to say if it happens again.
The bullying and hectoring on this thread is unbelievable- totally understand different viewpoints but the way they have been expressed has been with a real sense of barely held in rage. scary

OP posts:
Foolsgold74 · 14/05/2025 14:51

Whilst we're discussing isms and policing what people say op....Man and wife?

Anyotherdude · 14/05/2025 14:50

Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 14:38

what about the comment about 'giving them everything'

I was there and it was DEFINITELY about her ethnicity

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Well, OP, your post’s words made me think that “giving them everything”, in the context of a car boot sale, meant that the punters were all being ridiculous in the prices they were offering for their (probably very good) stuff! As was my one and only experience of going to one to sell stuff.

It goes to show you, that there is more than one way to interpret most things: exhausting yourself on here over the possibility that the stall-holder meant one of very many interpretations over the others, is pointless.

Next time say “Did you make that comment just because she’s Muslim? Or are we all rats to you?” And then you will know…

MrsMappFlint · 14/05/2025 14:49

This reply has been deleted

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Cesarina · 14/05/2025 14:49

familylawyer01392 · 14/05/2025 14:27

How did you know what their religion was?

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That's exactly what I was wondering!

MrsMappFlint · 14/05/2025 14:49

Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 14:30

I'm not bleeding my heart out but it was a nasty example of overt racism that I don't want to standby and watch in future- I want to be braver in tackling it

Be brave in tackling a potential thief-that would suit you better.

skippy67 · 14/05/2025 14:48

I'm shocked at the level of faux innocence in this thread, I've never noticed how either naive, stupid or plainly racist some pp on mn can be.

You must be new here...

User46576 · 14/05/2025 14:48

Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 14:41

it;s not puritanical to want to do better next time this happens

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It’s puritanical to spends days ruminating on a throw away comment a random man made because you think it might have been the wrong kind of speech. Leave him alone. You don’t know for sure what he meant and he didn’t hurt anyone.

Digdongdoo · 14/05/2025 14:47

The best course of action in the moment is usually nothing - escalating a situation doesn't help anyone.
If he was a racist twat, he'll deny it and turn on you.

Original poster
Changedusernameforthis2 · 14/05/2025 14:47

MrsMappFlint · 14/05/2025 14:47

You are allowed to criticise people of all shades and religions.. It is not racist.

Did you think that she should have been given a free pass? Well, do you? Why do you think she ignored him? Was she arrogant as well as ignorant?

He had to keep telling her? Why didn't you step in and tell her to come out from behind the stall? Do you think she had a right to harass him in this way?

Did she eventually fuck off? Did she pinch anything? You wouldn't know. She may very well have been a thief-she certainly played the part well.

What do you think would have happened to her if she had behaved in that manner at in a market in Saudi Arabia? Go on, have a guess.

Next time, help the stall holder against a potential thief. Do not waste your bleeding heart and fat tears on anti social behaviour, whether they are wearing a head covering or not.

god this is hateful in so many ways

OP posts: