To think that a 35 year old man setting his dating range to age 21+ is revolting?

Actually you’re wrong about nobody accusing older women of being pedos for dating younger men. Caroline Flack and Harry Styles- early 30s and 17 I think. But people went crazy about that. Also that film director Sam Taylor Johnson whatever her name is was like 42 with two kids and maybe married when she started a relationship with a 18 year old Aaron Taylor Johnson. Today people still say he was groomed and call her a predator. They’ve been together ever since and are married with two daughters.

I get what you’re saying though but people seem to pick and choose who they are outraged about. Think Blake Lively was 22 and Ryan Reynolds was 33 when they got together but no one mentions that. Same with Matthew McConagh and his wife were late 30s and mid 20s when they got together like 14 years difference I think,

It's pretty sad, but men never see themselves as old lol.

I look at things like this along the lines of, would a nice man do this? If the answer is no, I accept that the man involved is sleazy and try not to worry about it.

When I was 34 I had a fling with a 21 year old 😂

Same, even from an early age I found them attractive. Around the age of 15 I would date older teens as I found boys my age immature and stupid. Most my friends did too. Now however, I date younger. Haven’t dated anyone my own age in about 6 years 😂

I don't think its revolting and he can do that as long as he doesn't lie about it.

The question is, would someone that young be comfortable around a man his age? I don't think so. I had this illusion as a young adult (18-25) that I wanted to be with a guy around 35. When the opportunity presented itself, I felt way too creeped out to take it. I don't think he's going to have much luck unless she's low quality lol

I find it interesting that the idea is that for a casual relationship if the man is older he's "using her for sex". If it's casual, isn't she using him for sex? I mean, the whole point is having sex with someone you find attractive, there isn't a need to have aligned life goals.

It does happen the other way as well. My partner mostly dated older women in his early 20, they were generally 35 - 45. The reason being, he said, was that he wasn't looking to settle down and he found older women didn't expect that kind of thing from him.

How old does a woman have to be before she's allowed to decide for herself who she wants to go out with?

Yes, you are unreasonable for finding it revolting that an adult man would like to have a legal sexual relationship with an adult woman.

Absolutely disgusting

I’m 26 and associate with some 21-22 year old. Don’t think they’d be into a freshly divorced 35 year old man unless he was very handsome or they thought he was rich and wanted a nice free dinner. If he’s a proper sort then he might get that shag he’s after. However most men just take what they can get. Some of my male friends have their age range maxed out, because you “have to cast a wide net”. A few of them have actually met up with, shagged, and in one case dated, women much older than us. I think it’s just how online dating goes.

Exactly!!

I'm in my 50's and I occasionally get messages from guys in their late 60's.

Nope not for me! Some men's expectations are off the scale!

Im laughing at the people who think 35 is old.

35 is so young!

35 year old? a middle-age man? In 2025? 😂

I'd rather have stuck pins in my eyes than be with a man old enough to be my dad when I was in my 20s you do you.
My dad didn't have me when he was 15 anyway, so was nowhere near 35 himself when I was in my 20s.

If it's not jealousy, what is that sense of superiority pretending 20 year old women who make difference choice can only be stupid and naive?

So you think we have to wait until we reach our 30s to become intelligent? Really?

I’m certainly not jealous of anyone with an old man as a partner, whilst they are much younger and watching life slip by.

How about letting the 21yo+ women decide for themselves who they want to date and keep your beak out?

Well.a 21 year old dating a 35 year is hardly dating Someone old enough to be their dad are they??
How many 14 year old Dads do you know🤔

Personally when I was 21, dating a 35 year old man would have been so not on my radar and I would have thought him to be well OLD

Well I suppose he’s just looking for one thing so he’s widening the net, so to speak

Well that up to the person who is 21 so two years out of their teens to decide not you .

It's the men who dump their wives once they reach 40 and then go for a younger woman who I despise.

Your issue is your own partner has said this - potentially your issue with him because i guess it a reflection of what HE would want to do if he was single, and that doesnt sit well you because you are 37, not 21. Is that correct? Because, 21 is an adult and she can maker her own decision if she wants to shag a 35 year old... i did when i was 21 and he was 36 and i married him years later - we have 2 kids now. I was absolutely aware of what i was doing.

I'm more concerned that this suggestion came from your own partner. Gross.

No, 35 isn't ancient, but it's too old for someone who has only been out of their teens for just over a year.

Good post. It's absolute nonsense that anything is based on jealousy. WTF has anyone got to be jealous about over a 20-something woman dating a middle aged man? I'd rather have stuck pins in my eyes than be with a man old enough to be my dad when I was in my 20s. And as you have illustrated, some young women in their 20s ARE naive and do believe the patter and bullshit older men spill out to them. Very naive to think otherwise.

And WTF has being religious or right wing got to do with saying some young women are naive (as @gannett said?) What a weird thing to say!

This is an overreaction. And no, at 21 I didn't find 35 anxient because it's not.

I would certainly be re - evaluating my opinion of my partner OP.

He and his pal talking about women in terms of what value they bring to their lives being dependent.on what age group they belong to is absolutely revolting.

I would certainly be questioning what your partner actually thinks about you OP. And how he talks about you to hifriends.

The whole scenario would make me doubt that your partner, and possibly his friend, actually sees women as human beings.