To think that a 35 year old man setting his dating range to age 21+ is revolting?

I never said people are suddenly able to make “adult decisions”. I was talking about the actual physical brain stops developing at 25, as in that’s the time most brains have fully developed and this is the age that is mostly recognised as being a fully formed human. You’re talking about making decisions based on experience. I was not talking about that. It would be pretty stupid of me to say that our brains never stop developing when we grow neurons throughout our life.

Completely disagree with you saying a 50 year old will make better decisions and have a better insight in life than a 30 year old. Where is this evidence? Surely it would depend on life experience? I know many 50 year olds who live very sheltered lives and have very limited insight to that of a well cultured 30 year old. Many older people still make stupid decisions.

I don’t think you’ve actually read any of my
previous posts but I said originally a 21 year old is an adult. So yes, there is nothing wrong with two consenting adults having sex. So I suggest you read before banging about how a 50 year old can make better choices than a 30 year old and has more insight because you are frankly wrong.

No - maybe it's not the same but I'm a woman in my 30s and regularly get early 20s men coming on to me. I'm married so wouldn't go there - but these young women are consenting/swiping match so what's the issue?

I don't really think about that. Although for many it seems to be because they wouldn't find that interesting, or wouldn't have.

It is, it's an arbitrary point to say that suddenly people are able to make "adult" decisions. The brain continues to develop through most of your life, through expeince largely, and a 50 year old will in many ways make better decisions and have more insights than a 30 year old.

But we aren't telling people of 30 they aren't competent to make serious decisions about marriage, sex, having kids, or career.

And really, are you going to say that 21 year olds aren't of an age to make those kinds of decisions?

Probably the age of the haters, to ensure they are not some unfair competition or something 😂

So how old should women be before they are able to choose a sexual partner?

So 22 for a 30 year old, ok.
37 for a 60 year old though 😅

Age is just a number, and if it's not hurting you why let it matter.

I’d be more put off by your partners comments about it to be honest.

Only according to the legal definition which is arbitrary, and based on nothing other than the convenience of creating a divisive line. According to science we aren’t adults until around the age of 30.

People are too hung up on the idea that you magically become an ‘adult’ at 18, and are suddenly way more clued up than you were at 17.

21 is still extremely young. I think it’s gross personally.

A bit of an overreaction I think. If he'd said 16+ I could understand your disgust,but it's not that uncommon for a woman of 21 to go out with a bloke in his mid 30s.

No, it isn’t myth. Where are you getting your information from? Plenty of reputable and highly regarded institutions have wrote articles which have been peer reviewed as well an extensive research on this. I suggest you look into them articles to inform yourself.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3621648/

Here’s a nice layman’s summary of brain maturation and how that works and why into mid-20’s.

The 'brains aren't fully developed until you're 25' thing is one of Mumsnet's most annoying myths and essentially just used by posters who are intent on infantilising and controlling their grown adult children

It’s not a myth at all. It’s a biological fact. Look at any corresponding medical literature.

Exactly.

The 'brains aren't fully developed until you're 25' thing is one of Mumsnet's most annoying myths and essentially just used by posters who are intent on infantilising and controlling their grown adult children.

What a parent 'wants' for their adult daughter is entirely irrelevant, because the adult daughter is a grown woman and the only thing that matters is what she wants.

If someone doesn't want their 21 year old dating a man 10 years older than her, that's very much just tough shit. You don't get to vet and control other adults' relationships based on what your preference would be. You can feel however you want to feel, but it doesn't mean it gives you any say over your adult child's choice of partner.

That is a myth. The brain develops endlessly, largely driven by experiences.

That seems very odd on your part.

I 48, my partner is 61, we were both a decade younger when we became a couple . When I'm 55 he will indeed be in his late 60s. That seems like a pretty normal gap for two middle aged people.Why would you only be willing to date someone within a very few years of your own age, it's not grade school?

A bit cringe maybe, but not revolting. Everyone in this scenario is a consenting adult. It's obvious why both parties might be attracted to each other.

You are confusing your opinions with "facts". they are not the same thing I am afraid.

I think a lot of women can't bare the idea that men their own age don't find them attractive anymore.

It is generally accepted people get less attractive and energetic as they get older so I don't think it is concerning to not want to date a much older person. A man in his mid 30s is most likely going to want children so he won't be looking at peri/menopausal women. Biology plays a massive factor in why age gap relationships are predominantly older men/younger women.

FFS there's always so many judgemental women on here about age gaps.

21 is an adult, 35 isn't ancient. As far as I'm concerned, unless you're old enough to be their parent (and not some gym slip, teenage parent) what's the issue!

People should just mind their own business and let other people get on with their lives.

Agreed. My DH ex wife was always banging on about my age in a derogatory way. It is plain jealousy.

Its a psychological jealousy.

Op is in no way romantically involved with this man. So she has nothing to lose either way. He is a friend of her partner.

However her brain is going: " a man my age is saying yhat he would be sexually interested in women 14 years younger than me. Does that mean i'm old?

And she gets jealous and angry at the younger women

Which is where OP's post has started from