To think that a 35 year old man setting his dating range to age 21+ is revolting?

Your partners response....urgh. So nice to know that's what men really think about women, not.
I'm married since the ark landed but there is no way, if I was single /widowed would I be looking for someone who was 20 years older. They would probably be on their death bed already!😆

Well, 21 isn’t a ‘young girl’. It’s an adult woman.

When I was 21, I was attracted to older men. I agree though that the idea 21 yos are okay for a fuck and run, but only ‘older’ women deserve the effort that goes with an actual relationship, is rank.

What did your partner suggest his pal state as the upper age limit?

I’m thinking it will have been along the lines of “no old birds over 28” .

My work colleague is 25 her settings are up to 40, she finds men her own age really childish, immature and a bit boring. She wants to travel, explore and be with someone a bit more established. I kind of understand her logic so given the gap is similar I think plenty of 21 year olds would like someone mature, 21 year males are still like boys.

I'm 38 and I'm currently training a 21 year old and he seems like such a child to me, how could anyone in this age group consider someone of that age as a sexual partner??

Ask him what he thinks about dating someone who's 49, because that's exactly the same age difference the other way.

For me it's a bit gross.
But a 21 year old can choose to have sex with a 36 year old if she wants, if he is not lying about his age then I don't see what the issue is with two consenting adults. Some 21 year olds might have a thing for older men. It's not up to you to decide for them.

People are so weird about age on Mumsnet. If the man is being honest about his age, and if a 21 year old wants to go out with a 35 year old, I really don’t see why it’s a problem. A 21 year old has been an adult for 3 years and may well have been living independently and supporting themselves for that time - I was married at with a mortgage by the time I turned 21. Before I met my husband, I had a relationship with a man where there was a 13 year age gap; I was fully aware of his age and there wasn’t an issue. Many women prefer older men.

Not revolting - I went out with a 38 year old for a couple of years when I was 25. It didn’t work because of our age difference! But it was a good relationship until we realised we wanted different things. I don’t think it was just my physical appearance, I’m not a catch! He was a laugh, we had lots of fun, travelled to amazing places then he wanted kids and I was still mid 20s and didn’t. We met at work so there was no swiping or stalking on socials first.

My partner advised him to set his age range from 21 “if all you want is a shag”, and down to 26+ for a relationship.

That attitude is revolting and that came from your partner. Just to be clear when you say “he seems to thinks that’s an acceptable age gap” are you talking about your DP or his friend?

Not revolting when I was 22 I definitely found older men attractive! I was a consenting adult. When I was on dating apps I set mine to be my age + as I didn’t want to date younger but my upper limit was a lot older than me. 🙈

If anyone is revolting in this, it’s your partner OP.

What as it got to do with you and your husband op.
Its not a crime they are both adults.
Or are you jealous.
Leave people alone let them have some fun who cares.

When i was 22 i was dating a 40 year old for 6months it was fun then we moved on.

It's the age gap between our DD and our SIL. They seem to have no issues.

(a) I don't see the problem and (b) I don't understand why it should concern you.

If hes well off and trim ,it may not be a problem .21 year olds differ as well, Some may be mature and nearer 22 in age .Others less so .I dont see the problem really .Older guys have more experience and may be better off .Unless anyone is making them go out together the girls can choose!

The contributing factors for young hot women will be if he is still hot himself and generous enough to pay for meals/ drinks.

Surely a 21 year old woman is capable of saying “No thanks” and swiping left? That’s if he even appears in her matches.

Do people that you’re even use dating apps anyway?

From what I've seen on MN, plenty!

You could ask for a millionaire does mean you’ll get one

Not at all gross - my dad was 37 and my mum 21 when they met, 38 and 22 when they married. They were happily married for 51 years until she died and he adored her to the end and beyond.

And on your other point, another male family member has been happily married to a woman 16 years older than him for 15 years - longer than many of their friends who said it would never last.

You can never make assumptions about someone else’s marriage.

Is this post really about the guy - or about your feelings about dealing with aging? Ot worrying that your partner secretly lusts over younger women?

Otherwise - no, I don’t think your partner is wrong. If the man in question has just divorced and looking for something casual - he probably should not try to match with women in his age group - women in mid-30s, generally, are looking for relationships. And so are many in late 20s.

Personally - I also found men in their 30s attractive when I was in my 20s. They were more mature and less selfish in bed than the younger men.

I'd worry that my partner thinks a younger woman is fine for a low commitment sexual relationship. That's the way you're most likely to run into problems dating a young woman. You'd be better to her if you only dated her if you potenitally saw a long term future than keeping her as a fling.

Your partner seems to be saying that young women are fine to shag and move on, but older women are more suitable for actual commitment.

Yes. Entitled, delusional and grim.

I have men in their 40s and 50s set their target age from 21 (or even 18...) too on dating apps.

The fact that a 21 year old is an adult does not change the fact that a 35 year old man is at a completely different stage in their life and level of maturity.

''My partner advised him to set his age range from 21 “if all you want is a shag”''

OP, your partner sounds like he has some issues too...

Not really any of your business, your DP has no problem with it either. I know of quite a few big age gap relationships so it’s not that uncommon nor is it illegal.

'ow you say in England?

"What is good for the goose is good for the gander"

(Bien sûr, we would eat the goose!)